I was so shocked when my friend told me this......
By trisha27
@trisha27 (3494)
United States
November 5, 2012 12:37am CST
Not in a million years would I ever think to hear that she would tell me something like this. I know that her and her husband had been having problems. They are living separately and they are separated right now at this point. They are looking to find a place so they can live together. The one thing I am not shocked by is she told me that she thought she was pregnant and well I honestly don't think she is, because she is the type of girl who will say she thinks she is pregnant and then say she has all these symptoms but then turns out later that it was a false alarm. It'll be exciting if she is though. I was shocked today though because she told me that she had cheated on her husband and that she hadn't told her husband that she thought she was pregnant and part of that fear was because she didn't think that it was his baby. But after doing some calculations she figured it would be his baby and she is pretty much excited. I was just shocked though, because I never saw her as the person to cheat on her husband or anyone and to even put herself in a situation where she wasn't sure who was the father. I'm just totally shocked right now. 5 people like this
24 responses
@factorial (977)
• Philippines
6 Nov 12
Oh no! Please tell your friend to live too far from her husband. After she will deliver her baby have a DNA test. You can help in obtaining a specimen from her husband. If it will turn out that the baby's father is her husband, very good! She can surprise her husband. If it will be the opposite, well, she has no business with her husband anymore.
2 people like this
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
6 Nov 12
I think that she should be honest with her husband from the get go, if she hadn't been honest with him already. That is the best route to go and then go from there. Yes it'll be hard and he may not take it very well, but honesty is the best. I hope she do that. But imagine how upset he will be if he take care of this baby and later find out it is not his. I hope she isn't hiding it from him. I really hope not.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
5 Nov 12
You know what shocks me? That you say about your friend you don't believe a word about her saying she thinks she is pregnant because (according to you) she is the type to make up things. For the rest I wonder what kind of friend you are. She must trust you, but to be honest I would not if someone could not respect me, would judge and label me, would not be able to see me as the person I am, respect me. I am sure she will be shocked too if she reads what you write about her and who knows tells around about her as well.
1 person likes this
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
5 Nov 12
And that is your opinion and so I'll leave it at that. Either way I'm still a good friend and I will always be her friend no matter what. I'm not judging her in any way, and I was just saying I am shocked. I have a right to voice my opinion on here so whatever, its not like you know her anyway.
1 person likes this
@Blondie2222 (28611)
• United States
6 Nov 12
I would be pretty shocked if a friend told me this as well. Not every day do you hear something happen like this so close to you. I hope she is right though and it is her husbands baby and not the guy she cheated on her husband with. But if she really not sure she can always do a paternity test when the baby is born to be for sure. Hopefully she has learned her lesson after this and doesn't cheat on her husband again if she really wants to work things out with him.
@pals101 (2010)
• Philippines
6 Nov 12
Shocking as it is,, its her decision. YOu just have to advise her that whatever consequences for her action, she must be ready for it. Maybe she really have reason why she cheated on him. But still, It would be great if the baby was from his husband and not from the other around.. Well, just go along and support your friend.
1 person likes this
@leeandrew (1225)
• Philippines
6 Nov 12
It would shocked me too if one of my friends would tell me that she is pregnant but not of her husband then would say later that she's wrong the baby is of her hubby. I don't know what I would say. What I would do I think is I will tell my other friends about it than we'll do brain storming of what to do and decide from that. I'm just blessed I have friends who has good moral views.
Hope your friend will decide good things about herself and the baby.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
6 Nov 12
I hope so too that is if she is pregnant, right now she doesn't know. So we'll see what happens. But I hope she makes a good decision. I guess that is why it was a shock to me, because most of my friends have good moral views and I was just completely shocked that she slept with another man other than her husband.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
6 Nov 12
I guess people will always surprise us in many ways, there are unexpected things everyday and I can't help but wonder with awe how people could just surprise us. Really.
I am sad to hear that your friend is separated with her husband, all the more sad because she had to cheat as well. Now, I don't understand why they are looking for a place so they can live together. I mean, are they separated or reunited?
As for the pregnancy. It's sad if the couple have patched things up and when the baby comes out it doesn't look like any of them. That would certainly be something that could cause a permanent separation.
Anyhow, I know that it's common for couples to separate these days, but still I am sad whenever I hear that a marriage has ended. I just wished I would stop hearing about it and instead get positive vibes.
Have a great mylot experience ahead!
1 person likes this
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
6 Nov 12
I am sad to hear that people are divorcing and separating all the time. I don't like hearing about it either. What she told me that they are separated and I think she really does love him and she just misses him a lot and she wants to get back together with him. I just don't know the whole story. But I really hope that if she is pregnant that it will be his, so there won't be so much more problems going on in the relationship. I really feel bad for her though.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Nov 12
hi trsha I would also be shocked and probably wondering if this girl that I have as a friend is one I still want to keep. she cheated on her husband and to me
thats very wrong.You want to change mates,you get a divorce you do not play dirty like that.They made vows when they got married and they should stick to them not go off and cheat on each other. So she is now excited well whoppedy do a bit late and what about her marriage? why does she just get divorced then she can play around just l ike the gu ys do.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
6 Nov 12
I agree that if you find someone else then you should leave the one you are with if you see no reconciliation, then yes you should leave out of a marriage. That is a promise that my husband and I made to one another, to never cheat, but if we find someone else let the other know and we will go our separate ways. But I would never cheat on my husband and well my husband is a great guy.
About the friendship, I'm not sure on that. I mean she is a good friend and all and this is probably something that was a mistake she made. I think either way I will be beside her as a friend.
I don't know what she wants to do with her husband though, she loves him supposedly a lot and just wants to be with him. This I don't understand since she cheated on him. I don't know where her head is at.
I think she is more worried then excited. Which can be understandable as she is hoping if she is pregnant it is her husband's baby and not the other guy. But I say why even put yourself in that situation. But once again it is a decision that she made and is something she can never change.
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
5 Nov 12
Quite of a shocker indeed, but believe me, it really happens. Sooner or later some dark secrets would surely find its way out and though it is really hard to believe that it happens from the people who seem to know so well and thus the revelation would make us rather confused, lol!
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
5 Nov 12
And you are so right that we are only humans and we all make mistakes good and bad, heck I've made some mistakes in my life. And I can't judge her and I shouldn't. I have no place to judge someone. I'm going to continue to be here for her no matter the outcome of whatever happens. I just think right now she just needs a friend and that I will be.
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
5 Nov 12
We're only humans, and finding out our weaknesses and strengths, accepting them, and just learn from it. The sad part is that we don't expect such things to happen especially it involves someone we cared for and known all our life, and that it would somehow affect our perception of him/her. But the fact that life goes, then just snap out of it and go on with your life.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
6 Nov 12
I agree with you on one part. That yes her husband should know about this and I hope she told him and maybe that is why they are separated, but if she did not tell him, she will probably make it harder on the marriage and should tell him right away. I think people change though and I don't think once a cheater always a cheater though.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
5 Nov 12
Sometimes people do things out of their character.... because they are fed up, because they need change, because they are hurt, and can't think... we can never predict what someone is going to do. I'm not saying what she did was rightful or moral, because heck no, but thinking about a person and basing our opinion them only on one thing they did is just not rightful, or, may I say, quick. But I would've been shocked, too, if I found that out of my best friend, but not seeing her as a bad person or something.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
5 Nov 12
I'm just shocked and you are right, we shouldn't judge others on things that they have done and I'm not judging her. I'm just saying I'm shocked. But I think right now she is just hurt and really just needs someone with everything that is going on with her.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
5 Nov 12
So why would she want to get back with her husband? If she cheated on him, she must love him much. Id never cheat.
@Mattxu (62)
• China
6 Nov 12
I should say the person such as your friend really exists. She may not know how to spell the word "ashamed". She has married with her husband, but she still makes love with other men. And as the result, she even does't know who the baby's father is. How ridiculou it is! If her husband has known all the things, I think he may kill her.
I think if you are a virtuous people, you should make her husband divorces her. Though she is your friend, I should say you'd better get away from her.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
6 Nov 12
I think my husband would agree with you on me staying away from her. Just cause of her morals and all that. But I don't think I could despite what she had done, she is still a good friend. But I think maybe she should tell her husband he may not kill her but leave her. I couldn't tell her husband to leave her, because I do not know him at all yet alone know him well enough to tell him to leave her. And also it is not my place to tell that to him. I hope in all hopes though she tells him and I hope that he does not loose his temper and do other things like hit her or something.
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
7 Nov 12
When someone is separated and not living with their spouse. It is really easy to turn to someone else for comfort. I am happy the baby will turn out to be her husbands. That will help ease alot of stress. I would not mention anything about her being with someone else. As I don't know the circumstances.
Just wanted to add just because someone is married, but they are separated and have been for awhile, it does not mean they are cheating, unless both parties were trying to work things out.
I am saying this because I have been separated from my estrange husband for 3 years now. Only because I can't afford the $1500 price tag for a divorce. I am still looking to find a lawyer who will take payments, because he refuses to file for divorce. Even thou he has been living with his mistress since I was moved out of state.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
5 Nov 12
That's really shocking then, if you think you know her very well.
Anyway, it is more shocking because all the while you thought you know her so well and turns out that you doesn't know her at all.
Well, better to listen to her story, maybe tomorrow she will come with a different version again.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
5 Nov 12
People can never be understood what they actually are. So there is nothing to blame you, after all you are an individual and have a different set of thinking and beliefs.
But yes, going by the history of this friend of yours, I think you should be more careful and do not take everything she said to you to be honest and true. I too have a similar kind of a friend who will tell anyone anything just because he is so talkative. Much of his spoken words are meaningless and not required.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
5 Nov 12
I am partly thinking that I shouldn't believe everything she says either, cause I think that most of it is for attention. There have been a lot of friends who are getting pregnant and having babies and she so badly wants to be apart of that group. But if she were to be pregnant I'd be sort of happy for her, but then also would hope it be her husband's baby. I don't know what's going on with her though. But I'll just be there for her.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
5 Nov 12
Things just happen unexpectedly. No one is so sure about what will happen next. Shocked with what she did? Well, yes, it could be surprising to know that your friend can do such a thing. But what she should be thinking now is if she is indeed pregnant, she has to be sure who's the father.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
5 Nov 12
Yeah I told her the most important thing right now is to be sure that she is or is not pregnant and go from there. I hope she goes to the doctor cause she took 2 test and both negative and still no period. So we'll see what happens. I too hope she focus' on making sure the baby is her husband's if she is.
@baddkabee (115)
• Singapore
7 Nov 12
Hi I am a bit confused here. You said that they are separated, having marital problems, and are living separately at the moment. Then you said that they are looking for a place so that they can be together. So this means that their marital problem has been resolved, is it?
Then she told you that she is pregnant and she's not sure that the baby is from her husband because she cheated on him.
What's the status of their marriage now? Are they living together now as husband and wife or are they still separated?
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
6 Nov 12
You, as her friend, you should understand her and never break her trust in you in divulging her secrets. That will be a huge mess in her. As a friend, give her the necessary advice for her situation. Don't judge her instead do your part as her friend. Men are imperfect and I think she just did that because she is very frustrated to get pregnant. Though her actions was not the good idea.
