12-year-old daughter is saying negative things about her mom...
By Cutie18f
@Cutie18f (9546)
Philippines
November 6, 2012 7:25am CST
A friend of mine who I think is doing her best to be a mother is now lamenting the sudden change of behavior in her daughter who is now 12 years old. She used to be very close to her daughter when she was a kid, personally bringing and fetching her to and from school, making sure that she is well-fed and that they have time together everyday. This friend of mine is a single mom and recently had a boyfriend which could have changed the behavior of the child. The mother heard from other friends and also relatives that her 12-year-old daughter has nothing good to say about her, that when she talks about her mother, she always says negative things about her. So I told that she is not alone in this problem because a lot of mothers experience this when their daughters become teens. Although there are a few exceptions, but majority of these daughters usually start hating or defying their mothers when they are teen-agers. Have you also observed this?
2 people like this
11 responses
@Raine38 (12389)
• United States
7 Nov 12
If this attitude of her daughter started right after she got a boyfriend, it might be that her daughter is feeling jealous or left out. It was always her and her mom ever since and now the presence of another person, a man even, in her mom's life is having a negative effect on her. She sees the new boyfriend as a threat on her relationship with her mom. She could be used to having all her attention. This attitude is indeed typical of a confused and insecure teenager.
They need to talk to her seriously and make her understand the situation. If she can't handle it, she can seek the help of a professional to further assess and make helpful suggestions on how to approach the situation.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
12 Nov 12
Well, the relationship that this girl's mother was in could have had some impact on the relationship between mother and daughter. However, I really don't think that is the main change that has happened in this girl's life. You see, she is in that period of her life where her body is going through a lot of changes and her hormones are changing as well. Of course, this does mean that her attitude is going to be going through a lot of changes as well. I think that the main thing that is going on with her is the changes in her body and hormones.
@MANJET (84)
• Malaysia
9 Nov 12
I guess your friend, the single mother needs to have a good talk with her daughter. This kind of things happen always. we know young teenagers are. Having a good talk with her daughter may help them to understand what is ruining their once close relationship as mother and daughter. By knowing the reason, your friend would be able to do something about it.
@riyauro (6421)
• India
9 Nov 12
it is bad of the daughter to say all negative about the mother. The children fail to understand that the single mothers go through so much to bring up a child alone and single handedly. They must understand that the mother has given the gift of life to them and through the mother they are alive today. I guess the mother needs a break as well and having a boyfriend should not bring this drastic change in the girl. She should understand that the mother has life also. I think the kid is just a kid and does not understand much on this but if she does not know anything much that she should not open her mouth about the mother. It is sad and must be hard on the mother to go through this phase of life. I have not seen anyone like this and i wish it does not happen to anyone. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead. 
@edvc77 (2140)
• Philippines
6 Nov 12
Teen agers are neither young or adult. When a child reach this stage, there are many changes physically and emotionally. Many problems arise during this period. Good parenting and guidance is a must. It's better too to have counselling on what to do with her child. The experts know this and she will be advised on what to do. I would say too that this stage is critical. Good communication too must be applied by mother to her daughter. The daughter needs guidance. Thanks for this discussion.
@toniganzon (72554)
• Philippines
7 Nov 12
I haven't observed that in my hometown. I guess I'm lucky not to observe that. I do see that in the movies though. Just not in real life. I don't exactly know the real reason why this thing happens. It's possible that the mother prohibits the child from doing what she wants and that must have turned her into a rebel.
I wish that my son won't treat me like that when he turns into a teenager.
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
9 Nov 12
It had been well known that children when they turned teenagers, they would be rebellious. There are occasion where they merely have their own opinion about things. Your friend as a single mom had managed to live well with her daughter all these while before she had a boyfriend and that her daughter turned teen. So there is a possibility that her daughter finds it hard to accept for her mother to have a boyfriend or perhaps there are personal issues between the daughter and the boyfriend. Most people experience similar things though.
@watchamacallitz (1171)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Maybe the sudden change in her daughter's behavior is triggered by her relationship with the new boyfriend. I experienced this before, I was the daughter and my mom had a new husband. You could say it's jealousy but I just cant bear the fact that my mo has a new guy in his life because I still prefer my own father. Maybe that is how she's feeling.
Tell your friend to talk to her daughter, that would really help in resolving this issue.
@leeandrew (1225)
• Philippines
9 Nov 12
That's bad, I pray it won't happen with me and my daughter, it definitely would break my heart. Probably the girl doesn't like the thought that her mom is dating and kind of feeling like she's being left out. It happen to me and my dad too when dad dated someone again after 9 years of being widow. I don't understand about the needs of my dad then. I became rebellious with him and had run away from home.
Later on I accepted that dad needs someone to takes care of him when he grows old. She may not understand now, but definitely later. I just hope that they'll get along well again.
@lizlee (208)
• Philippines
7 Nov 12
Its so sad to think that her daughter has acted that way. But I guess what influenced her daughters behavior, and you mentioned that she is in her early teens, its probably peer pressure. Another factor would be media. Plus the fact that her mom has a new boyfriend now. Probably she is angry and jealous that her mom's beau would get in their way of bonding and closeness.
I'm not here to judge but it's just for my opinion. The kid is probably going through a rough time now that lead her do and act the ways she does.
I'm hoping for the best that this situation for your friend would be resolved
