Would you tell your child?

I would let the child know once they were grown. Health issue's is one of the reasons that stands out the most. They have a right to know as a person. They also have the right to know that you were kind enough, loved enough to take them in as your own and raise them into who they turned out to be.

If I adopted a baby then I would wait until he or she could understand. I think I would wait until my child could understand and use language appropriate for his or her age. At 3 to 4 years old children attend a nursery school. Some of the other moms might be pregnant so I would say to my child that lady is going to have a baby. At the moment the oldest daughter of my 3 year old daughters childminder is pregnant. Her baby is due close to Christmas. My little girl can see her bump is getting bigger. Next month sometime her baby will be born. I think that age 3 to 4 years old would be a suitable time to mention the child had been adopted. I would say to his or her I decided to get you and because you are very special. I would say I had a choice of babies and I decided he or she was the one I wished to get. I would explain getting him or her was a dream come true.

Personally I think there comes a time when it is best to let them know they have been adopted before they hear it or find out from someone else. I would think by the time they are 16 at the latest, and explain to them that it is OK to be upset. I know I never really got a chance to know my real Dad as he left my Mom when I was 4, and then had my Step Dad adopt me after they got married. But at least I always knew and did get to meet my Real dad once as an adult.

I don't understand why you wouldn't tell the child. Everyone searches for who they are, and part of that is knowing where they, and their family came from. I know that in the past it was the norm to not tell a child they were adopted, however that has changed quite drastically, and I think for the better. When you tell a child really depends on the child. It also depends on how much detail you want to go into. The older the child, the more you can tell them, at least about the details that you know about.

Hi there. I know someone who has this kind of situation. Her answer in here would be no. There is no way that she will tell her child that she was just adopted. Why? Because there is no reason to say it anymore. Saying it will just complicate the child's life. Why complicate one's life when there is an option not to? And, what's the point? To know who are the true parents? No, it's not necessary anymore. As long as they have loved the child as their own, nothing has to be explained anymore. As long as the child didn't feel that he or she was adopted, it's no use to tell the truth. Oh. I sound as my friend. LOL

hi i honestly feel that its really really sad to let any child/person know that he/she is adopted. If there is no other source from where the child might come to know about his/her adoption apart from parents, then I would suggest not to reveal the truth.

I would certainly tell my children if they were adopted, because that would not make them less my children. The only difference is that we don`t have the same blood. THat could be important if they got some genetic illness. I am for giving the adopted family all the resourses and data for that reason. When and how would depend on the child. I do not love my two daughters identically, but I love both of them dearly and could not measure which one I love best.

I would tell my child when they are older and able to understand. Maybe when they are in their teenage years. I learned that my father was not my real father that he adopted us when I was a baby and my brother was only 2 years old. That is when my mother told us about we had another father who wanted nothing to do with us and gave up his parental rights and that is when my step father adopted us. I grew up thinking that he was my real father. I didn't learn that he wasn't my father until I was 13 years old. I think I maybe should have been like 16 years old or they should have waited until I was 18. But I think that age 16 or 18 is a good age to tell someone they were adopted.

Hiya leateagee, For me I would tell them when they had enough notion to understand things. Some might not understand the reason why they are adopted and others will understand it right away. Not all of them are going to like the idea at first but it is vital for them to know in case of any kind of issues. Maybe the Mother the natural Mother might want to meet them and also their possible Father whoever he is or was. In all its very important for them at least to know even if they never want to find out nothing at all. Before here a lot of adoptions were not legal and now there are a lot of problems going on because of it. Child has a right to know every Child I know someone who´s Father told her that she was not his Daughter very late in life and more out of spite than anything else this is not the way to do it. Last but not least they could easily find out the child I mean that they have various Brothers and Sisters and other loads of relatives especially if they were an only adopted child as well.xxx

Ok suppose i adopted a baby when he/she was just few days or say one year young, i gave good food,good dress and good education etc always considered as my kid. First of all why should she/he will ask? Suppose he/she asks, then i must tell the truth the very day itself, no hiding lol. Thanks for sharing. MERRY S'MAS Cheers

Yes I think parent should pay attention on child in proper manner even the child is adopted. No matter child is own or adopted we should treat same otherwise dont take the child of others.

I would tell her the truth when she's old enough to understand. Perhaps, when she's 13ish. Or, as soon as she'll start asking, if that comes prior. The kid deserves to know the truth, and re assuring her of my love should not change anything. If the kid is brought up well, she'll be grateful of what I've done for her.

I have an adopted daughter. She is 8 year old now and from the start she knows that I am not her real mother. She called her real mother mama as well. But most of the time she in confused when people told her that I am her real mother since we have resemblance and not with her real mother.I am thankful that she is so bright to understand it at her young age. Her confusion don't affect her. She is open to me and told me everything people asked about her and she's the one telling me don't mind her mum they are just insecure and envy much of you haha! So I guess it's better that they will know it from the beginning so it is not hard for them to accept while they grow up.

Telling the child the truth is the parents responsibility, though it'll make the child very sad, and the parents as well. But the hidden truth will never make the child a complete person as long as it'll be keep hidden from him forever. The right time? Maybe when he's old enough to understand everything. A 5 year old is just too young.. Maybe when he's in college, or after college, as long as he's old enough. =)

Perhaps I will not tell my child that she/he is adopted. I think she/he will be hurtful to hear that. And she/he would think about why her/his own parents abandoned she/he. It will be a big burden for her/him. Whereas she/he may not find her/his own parents to get the answer. Since I treat her/him as well as my own child, I don't have to tell that actually she/he is adopted. It is good enough that we are a family.

An adopted child should be told about the adoption early, just as soon as they begin to understand what it means. They won't understand at first, but they can be fed bits and pieces of information. The best adjusted adoptees have just always known that they were adopted.

Well, I think the child deserves to know his past and that it is his rights to be informed.

i would rather keep it sealed until the child will reach at the right age where he/she can understand things like that . Just putting up my shoes in her/ him. It would be harsh if at the young age he can be informed of that. he can be emotionally bothered and would develop bad thoughts . good if you as a standing parent of the child is a full time mom so you could explain right away the abrupt thoughts and you are there in the process of letting him/her feel not bad about the situation.but if you both are working parents and your time with the child were so limited and at times that he/ she needed some explanations even how little it is considering her/his emotions on the process would require immediate respond to cope up his/ her bad emotions on that.

You should actually tell her/him that she is adopted. You are loving enough to adopt her and give her a life that she would have never experience if she was with her real parents as she was given away, right? I'm sure by being a good parent you left a spot in her heart and I'm sure she will have second thought in leaving you even if she will try to find her real birth mother, for her you're still her real parent. I have a lot of friends who are adopted and upon finding out who their real parents are, they said that they don't feel the same affection for them as much as they do with the parents who raised them. It is better to learn that you're adopted from the parents who love you than from someone else. And telling them at an early age or at an old age will not make a difference especially if they know that you love them so much as they don't really care finding who their real parents are.

For me, the real parents are the ones who take care of the baby. The ones who share their love and life with them. Yes, you must tell them the truth, but in an age that he/she undestand life, this can be in the 15s or 17s, and they will love you more. What a difficult moment!!!