The Poison of Negativity

I, too, want to know the answer. I have someone I know all my life and she always talks behind peoples back. She's always so negative. And there's this instance that she laughed at me because I was being optimistic. I admit it hurts but that's just the way she is. She always seems to have some criticism about someone. I thought I was used to her attitude but then when she started visiting at my house regularly. That's when I realized I can't stand being near her. Then there's this one time, my mom went to some place far away and my parents let her stay at our house for 10 days straight. I nearly lost my mind. I even broke down once or twice. My self-esteem really took a blow on that one. I will have sudden urges to backstab her after I spent some time with her. And I really don't like it if I get that way. I know I don't like that kind of attitude but I find myself slowly becoming what I fear most. When my mom and I visit her at her place I always dread sitting there and listen to them talk about someone behind their back. And normally my mom really doesn't backstab anyone but when she's near her.... I don't know how to explain the feeling. I convince myself to not see her ever again but I can't because she's my aunt and she's kind of important to me, I guess. I don't want to admit she's important to me but she is. I just hope I can figure out how to not get affected by this kinds of things. P.S I don't really complain about stuff like this to anyone but my mom but I just have to let it out. Peace

are you referring to me? lol. well i am a survivor because i have no choice everyday full of negative thought in this house my mother and aunt are the leaders of such thoughts.every small mistake is a big issue. every words you say they say bad things. Every effort you made they do not appreciate and the complain and will lead to argument instead of thanking for what you have done.Every thing that they do. they tell it with insult in my part. and yes I have no choice for now but to stay with them.They are my family choosen by God not me. and everyone has it's own reason why I am included to this very extra ordinary family that you feel like your living in a warzone. You know the answer of this which can stop things.for me to get Rich, and give it to them.Money is the answer to them.lots of money.not little for they complain.Haven't they thank God for every blessing we receive? ALL of this things are from God.. They think negatively because they forgot to have faith in God.They rely on human capabilities.

I do not agree that only negative thinkers are quick to judge. Most people are. Especially people who are so called "social". No matter where you are people judge. Teachers do, doctors do, family does, friends do, neighbours do, shopkeepers do, sellers do, the government/politician do, travel agencies do. Everybody is judged, labelled etc. This is the way most people are raised. I do agree there are people who are negative thinkers but I also discovered that those who are realistic thinkers very frequently are labeled as being negative. I agree that a very negative person is not only poisoning his/her own health but also that of his/her area (people around him/her). But this is the same with sick people, annoying people, fake people (the ones who pretend/wearing a mask), happy people, (clinic) clowns, children, those who always know the best, over active people, emotional people, stressed out people, depressive people, people with low self esteem, religious people, etc etc. The only thing you can do is know yourself the best. If you think a certain person or situation is not good for you stay away from it.

yes friend, the negative and positive people both have their influence on the surrounding people. The negative people ,always spread the laziness and we also loose hope on life if we be with them. On the contrary the positive thoughts people fill the whole surroundings with their positive energy and also encourage us for a positive and light life. Yes some especially negative thinkers judge people without knowing completely about them,they are quick as if they want to prove they are fast or may be to prove their superiority,in this they don't realize that they are hurting others who are innocent and make them unhappy. I think its difficult to avoid such people as we can find them everywhere and the only thing we can do is, just don't bother about them we should not take them or their talk to heart. And always try to be with positive people, although its a bit difficult always to find such people around.

I am glad I got lots of great advice when I asked about this before. Some told me to avoid while some said keep them close for they can make you stronger, and it's good if you can influence them- than them influencing you. But bottom line, if situation like this arises, just use it to make you better even if other people disagree. :) Show them what you really got and prove them with or without their help, you can really do it successfully! cheers!

I think we need to be careful which words we take in as truth and which we choose not to react to. A lot of times, people are not responding out of concern with a person's well-being, but just projecting their own disappointments and issues onto that person. Sometimes criticism is helpful and warranted, but we need to be able to remain strong even if we have to make some changes superficially. We are responsible for our attitude and if we need to leave a situation or relationship, we need to have the strength to do so.