the feeling of uncertainty.......
@proud2bfilipina (2)
Philippines
November 8, 2012 8:57am CST
Hello everyone, this is my first discussion here in my lot ;)
I wanna hear some advice from you mylotters :)
I been dating a guy online for about 3 months now, but haven't met each other for real. Were planning to meet by January,, he's gonna visit me here in my country. We contact each other regularly thru sms, email and skype :) Our getting to know each other turned into mutual interest and were enjoying each other company everytime we chat online, talking about different topics life in general. A few weeks back when i told him that i want to keep my options open, he admitted to me that he had a strong feeling for me and that i should not doubt his intentions because he is interested to me and i must admit that i do feel same for him as we got a lot in common, but the problem is we haven't met for real yet. Because what feel for each other may changed when we meet for real, so i have told him that the turning point of our relationship will be meeting each other. But lately i feel that i am falling inlove with him, and yesterday we had an argument as i told him that he doesn't put too much effort and he see it as counting.
Is it ok that i have told him that we shouldn't be too emotionally attached at the moment because there is nothing sure about us anyway? Will it be ok if i still keep my options open while am getting know him more?
Hope to hear some response and thank you in advanced mylotters ;)
4 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
9 Nov 12
Hi! Welcome to Mylot!
I think that it is really possible for people to get attracted to one another even if they only knew each other online. Constant communication is what makes a relationship, whether offline or online. You could only validate such feelings of a relationship that started online is when you get to be together and have the time to know each other better. Remember that not all people chatting online could be disclosing about themselves. It is easy to just say anything to anybody. Give it a time to know the person better. If he comes to visit you, then that is the first step of knowing that he is really interested with you. Why would he spend flying from where he is to your country if he wouldn't want to know you personally, right? But till then, I guess you just keep your call. Don't let yourself fall in love with a person who you just know via the world wide web. I say, it is okay to keep your options open. You'll never know who the right person is for you until HE IS ACTUALLY THERE.....
I think that it is really possible for people to get attracted to one another even if they only knew each other online. Constant communication is what makes a relationship, whether offline or online. You could only validate such feelings of a relationship that started online is when you get to be together and have the time to know each other better. Remember that not all people chatting online could be disclosing about themselves. It is easy to just say anything to anybody. Give it a time to know the person better. If he comes to visit you, then that is the first step of knowing that he is really interested with you. Why would he spend flying from where he is to your country if he wouldn't want to know you personally, right? But till then, I guess you just keep your call. Don't let yourself fall in love with a person who you just know via the world wide web. I say, it is okay to keep your options open. You'll never know who the right person is for you until HE IS ACTUALLY THERE.....
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
8 Nov 12
It's not dating if you "meet" on the internet. You are a free person so you are free to do what you like. To meet who you want. To talk to whom you want. Talking to someone on the internet or even seeing this person by cam is not the same as meeting life. You do not know anything about his habits, behaviour (day in and out, day and night), you don't know his friends, family. You don't know how he looks like in the morning after waking up, you don't know how he smells, etc etc. I think it's a good thing to say what you think. You are not fooling around, telling lies or telling him what he likes to hear. I do find it strange that the first time he admits what he feels for you (which can only be based on what he knows from you by the internet) is after you told him you want to keep your options open. I would stick to that. If you really belong together time will tell. Don't let yourself get pulled into a situation you don't like or want or say things you do not mean. I wish you luck, wisedom you already have.
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
8 Nov 12
I know from experience that "dating" online can end up being bad. You don't really know him and although he sounds wonderful to you the bottom line is you don't know him. You don't know what secrets he could be keeping from you. I wish you all the luck in the world but please be careful.
@5mahi05 (666)
• India
8 Nov 12
you were absolutely right in telling him not to be totally attached to you emotionally. Keep your options open until and unless you get to know him better. Even though you both feel good and all when you speak online and chat, there is something more to reality that you do not know him and you never know how much a person is honest specially when you even haven't met him in personal. May be the guy is all that good and may be the guy is just seeing it as it is counting, you will know only when you spend some time with him. Just 1 meet also will never be enough. Try to getting to know him completely and then take a decision.
Things are always very good until and unless it stays in the online world. The actual reality check happens only when you get to know about his way of living, the way he behaves in real and all. Think wisely and dont rush into things as you feel like you are in love with him.
