Routine for children

I think there should be basic routines, but not OCD ones. Like of course kids have to learn that they should get up early to go to kindergarten/school, to go to sleep at a reasonable time to get enough sleep, when they should start homework to finish in time and have some rest and that they should have a breakfast, they should brush teeth, comb hair in the morning, and they have to be ready early enough for school. But having certain routines all day is going to harm them. They are going to be so used to it that after a time, every little change is going to frustrate them and make them nervous... or just plain rude. I know an ex-friend of mine, who always had her lunch with the family at noon, and even when she was 18-20, she threw a tantrum when the lunch was late for whatever (even proper) reasons. But I think having rude kids is a thing, but having OCD, anxious kids is a huge problem. We all know about those kids who freak out if their shoes are tied in "the wrong order" (like right shoe after left shoe) or when mom or dad arrives later at home, so the usual family game time is postponed, or when they, at 10-14 still need their mom to read a tale and sleep next to them, because that's the normal... that's worrying, because it leaves us, especially the parents wondering what's gonna happen when they have to live alone???...