My nine year old.

First of all, I think that your husband should be backing you up if your child needs to do her homework. If your husband would just be having this kind of attitude of letting his daughter just do whatever she wants, then you'd be having a big problem in pushing education to her young mind. Second, kids have different attitude towards studying. With your kind of daughter, I think you should give her time to play for a while and then talk to her about the importance of doing her responsibility as a student. Do not bribe kids to study. You would only be teaching your kid to do something in exchange of another.

Of course, continue the battle of will with your daughter. You are the parent and at her age, she needs your guidance and discipline for her own good. I think you should do away with the possible distractions available to her. Compromise with your daughter and make up a program with her on use of television and computers after doing her homework.

You and your husband need to agree on a strategy so that she knows that she can't get a different answer if she goes to the other parent. In our house the TV is off until homework is done, the computer is out of bounds while there is homework to be done - the sooner the homework is done, the sooner the playing/TV watching can be done. But you must both say the same thing otherwise your daughter will not take her homework seriously

My son was the same way. He wouldn't do homework and his grades were affected because of him not doing homework. I put a timer on his Xbox 360. I unplug the TV. I give him an hour after he is home from school to relax and then he has to get to work. I make him earn his game and TV time. I let him know that I am not doing this to be mean to him, but I am looking out for his best interests. My job in life at the time is to make sure that when he is old enough, he can take care of himself. To make sure that he can read and write and learn. It took him a long time to understand that I wasn't making him do other things just because I can, but because I care. One day he could get a job playing video games, but I think that is highly unlikely. He needs to learn practical things and if I'm the only one in his life that lays down the law to him, I guess I will be the one he can blame later in life for being successful.

Uh-oh! This is a tough one. It's very difficult when a child losses concentration with their studies and would just like to do other things. It's one of the parent's biggest problems. Especially now that your daughter is entering her early teens. We cannot blame the world today. All the technology, advancements and innovations. Yes, they may seem to be a great part in making children lose their interest in schooling. But then again, don't forget that technology is also good. Maybe your daughter is just entering a phase. But my advise for you, just don't loose you hope and patience with your child. I know she'll come around, just talk to her, get a proper timing. I know that when you talk sensibly with proper timing, your daughter will follow you :)

Hi rubyroy! I have a student that sounds just like this. I agree that first you and your husband need to be on the same page. Children need consistency. I think another really important thing is to not focus on negative. Instead of taking away things for not doing the right thing, reward her for doing the right thing. I know it sounds like semantics, but psychologically the difference is immense. How excited would you be to go to work if you knew that everytime you made a mistake, part of your pay would be taken away? Think how you react differently when it's put to you that every day you complete correctly, you will receive a certain amount of money. It really works out to the same in the end, but the second way puts the control in our hands. We're told what a correct day is. We then have the choice of doing it or not. Whereas the first way, somebody is always watching over us and ready to penalize us. Money is our reward. Television and computers are her rewards. Set up a "contract" that sets out what she earns for doing so much work. For example, you might say that she get an hour of television/computer time if she completes all homework for the day. If she completes it, congratulate her, make a big deal, and let her have her reward. If she doesn't complete it, don't nag and fuss and whatnot. Just follow through that there is absolutely no television or computers. This might happen a couple times, until she sees that you will follow through on what you say. You can even put something in the contract that stipulates how much time she can earn on the weekend based on how frequently she completed everything. I do this all the time with my students and if follow-through is there, it works wonders. It makes for a very long weekend if the rewards aren't there. That's not going to happen often. Just make sure you don't get emotional in any way. This is one of the ways she gains control of the situation. You don't argue, discuss, negotiate. The deal is what the deal is. It leaves it squarely on her shoulders as to how much television/computer time she'll have.

I have no problem with my ten-year-old because she does her homework by herself. She is really a responsible kid. When there are no classes I let her use the computer for as long as she wants but during class days, sleeping time is 8:30 pm with homework done and all.

you must of course take good care of him and should not let him watch tv often

Hi friend, most of the kids are in this sort, they are not interested in doing home work and wish to play, watching TV and spending time with computers. Even my kindergarten son is very much interested in playing games than writing home work. Don't force her to do homework, it will create a hatred, just allow her as per her wish and take her in your way.

Hi rubyroy, guiding and teaching a child is part of parents' responsibility in parenting. Although it is difficult, but surely there is a way if the child is brought up right. Instead of using bribe and threat, why not try to understand your daughter's feeling and need. Will she do her homework if you allow her to watch television or playing computer? Maybe you can try to set a timetable for her and help her to make it out. Children needs proper discipline and surely a child has their rebellious age. But regardless, do not give up hope on them, continue to cherish and nourish them, be by her side and give her support and help. Separate times for the family between parents and children to sit down together to chit and chat. Spending times like this will make you children opens up themselves to the parents more than seeking influence from outsiders. Wishing you a good day! =)

I think you should continue to try to get the child to do homework. Taking priviledges away should be enough incentive to encourage participation in school work. My grandson is also nine and taking the gaming priviledges from him has succeeded in getting him more engaged in making higher grades.

Maybe your daughter lives in a rebeling stage. As every other teenagers, when you just try to push her, she will be more unwillingly to be survilliant. As you have found out that continuing your fight will do no good to put her on a right track. In this way, it may make your relationship more serious. An opposite way maybe have effect on this situation. You can just take a chance to have a sincere talk with your daughter. She might have her own reason and idea for her behavior. Trying to understand and being on her stand can be helpful. After finding out the root, just give her a lesson with some vivid examples which can help her realize she has made a mistake. Sometimes making herself realize her problem is more useful than just pointing out her mistakes I hope you can deal with your daughter happily, and may her successfully grow up!!