Being In Love With A Person Far Away From You
By ellyse2003
@ellyse2003 (1463)
Philippines
November 11, 2012 10:38am CST
Sometimes, I think this guy I love, loves someone else besides me. He's working abroad and I know he trust mes. He's always telling me to mingle with other people but I should know my limitations, he's very kind and understanding. Although, he's older than me, he sees to it that I'm always fine when he's not around. We always talk every night, when he calls, I don't even feel that we're miles apart. I'm just longing for this guy and I love him so much. I just want to share this, I can't talk to anyone else, why? I don't have close friends here. I'm the only one here, so when he's not around, I have nobody to talk too. I want to express how much I love him and how much I care for him each and everyday.
3 people like this
12 responses
@ungu89 (1999)
• Malaysia
11 Nov 12
i think there is nothing wrong having a long distance relationship.
also, the is nothing wrong that sometime u have doubt about him.its natural sometime to feel like that toward people we love.
i also will be in this kind the relation.i will further my study for 2 years, and with his work. i dont think he can come and visit me frequently. hope i can manage my feeling when we going to stay far from each other
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
11 Nov 12
It's really hard to have this kind of relationship. I know he's there when I need him but of course he's really far away from me. We've been married for five years now, but before getting married we we're able to make our relationship work, even he's far away. We dated for two years before we decided to tie the knot. As for now, we have the same fears, he's also thinking that I might have another guy in my life. Or maybe, we're just creating our own fears, but we are happy when we're together.
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
11 Nov 12
we have a son and we are planning to have another child next year to lessen our fears. This year isn't a great year for us, I miscarried last June 11, 2012 at 3 months. He's very disappointed and he wants me to hurry to have another one.
@habibti320 (925)
• United States
11 Nov 12
Make a practice of talking about everything and erring on the side of honesty. It also helps if you don't put a lot of rules for each other. If one person thinks that the other won't like a certain behavior, he is not likely to admit to it.
I have been cheated on while dating someone from a different country. It turned out that he had a fiancee in his country. We spent a lot of time together, but had to make a call "home" every day which went long sometimes. I had asked him before about his previous relationships, and he told me about them. I had also asked if he was married, and he said no. He told me that my mistake was not asking specifically if he was engaged or not. This really shocked me and I lost all respect for him, as well as trust in relationships!
Just try to make sure that you discuss any temptations that either of you might have and affirm that you are committed to him. I hope that you will be together again soon, and that you will have a lot of happiness in your marriage!
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
We recently miscarried our second child, so I'm in a hurry to have another one. He's very disappointed because we waited for nine months to have that baby and after a few months we lost it. We are honest all the time but after we lost the baby, we have this little conversation about third parties. We have the same fears though, we talk a lot about it, and i don't know if he's doing it. He's asking me about guys that are imaginary. Maybe he loss his senses, haha! He's being jealous all the time. So, when he comes home, we both want to have another baby to lessen the fears we have right now.
@habibti320 (925)
• United States
12 Nov 12
I hope you didn't hear any judgment, because I wasn't thinking that you have a big problem with loyalty. I just think that honesty is a good defense for any relationship!
Will the long distance be an issue for much longer? I really hope that you guys can find a way to live together again on a daily basis.
But even with that, losing a child is difficult for any marriage, and you shouldn't feel afraid to seek help in dealing with that. Find some local friends (female, preferably) that you can relax with and maybe open up to. It sounds like you are going through a lot!
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
12 Nov 12
Long distance relationships are not easy. From what you say he calls every night but he tells you to go out with other people. Are you sure he is telling the truth? How do you know that he is not with another woman? It would be unfair to keep you to himself as he could leave any time and you would be left high and dry. Read your comments here again... somewhere in there is a message for you.
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
He's my husband, and he's very disappointed to our recent loss. I miscarried this year and he wants that baby so much. He's telling me to go out to help me have a positive side. I always tell him, I can't have another child next year, well, I'm not yet ready but he wants it so badly. He wants me to hurry up and focus on that plan. We have a little boy now, but we waited for almost a year to have another baby, but we failed. Sometimes, he's telling me if I can't do it, he'll look for someone else who can do it for him. I don't know if that's a joke, but he's laughing whenever he says that.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
11 Nov 12
I think that would be hard. When I was married My husband was in the united states, and I was here in Mexico for 2 months. Was hard for only 2 months. Not sure how people can handle more than that.
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
He comes home every year, and stays here for a few months. Last year he stayed for nine months for us to have another baby, we have a five year old boy now. The second one we are planning to have became one of his disappointment. He stayed for me and he gave all his support. We we're very happy that after nine months, we received a good news from our doctor, my test we're all positive and my hcg test is in good condition. After a few months, we lost the baby and he decided to work abroad again. So he left, and now, he's thinking that I might be seeing another man. Next year, May, he's coming home, we are planning again to try and to lessen all our fears about third parties.
@passion4fassion (996)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
very sweet i heard that long distance relation is hard but with love there nothing impossible just put trust respect to your relation and with each other you will work things out to be together
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
Thank you. He will cone home next year and I hope everything will go well between us.
@hlfbldmom (743)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
Hi ellyse,
I know it's hard my boyfriend is abroad too and I wanted to be with him especially now that I am pregnant I need him beside me. What's more hard is that when we are alone and no one to talk to. I hope both of you can be together soon!. Take care!
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
Thanks. We've been married for five years and we have a son too. We didn't have any problems before but after we lost our second child. Imaginary third parties came alive, not literary true but "discussions" about it came to life. He's been asking if I'm seeing someone, he became so jealous recently. But, I guess trying to have another child next year will help the both of us.
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
11 Nov 12
If you honestly think he might have someone else, maybe you should go out and meet different friends. I think you shouldn't be alone by yourself with no friends. A lot of times relationships can work between two people as long as there is trust.
If you trust him, you wouldn't have the feelings you have. I do think though, that if you talk to each other every day, he must love you or he would be out somewhere with someone else spending his time with them and not on the phone with you.
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
Yeah, I have to go out to be at peace too. I trust him, but he was very devastated after my miscarriage, he wants that baby so much. We waited for nine months for that baby, after 2 or three months we lost it just like that. I think you're right, I just need someone else to talk to and hang out with my friends from time to time.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
11 Nov 12
If you are spending most of your time alone you have to have a life of yourself as well. If not you will turn into a very unhappy person. I think this is what he means by telling you, you have tomignle with other people. He is older he knows your relationship won't work if you are staying home (too much time to think things over). Also you need life experiences. He already have more as you since he is older. Don't understand his words as the reason of him having someone else (as well). I feel sorry you do not have anyone else to talk to, especially since you seem to need it. Perhaps you can find a forum for people who have long distance relationships? Or there is one for people with age differences? Or just join one for women? I think you wil have a lot in common and there will always be somene who will respond.
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
11 Nov 12
We've been married for five years now and we have the same fears. He wants me to have more friends but not to guys. Sometimes I think he doesn't want me to be with my guy friends because he's having a secret relationship with someone else. He's always jealous and he doesn't want to talk to guy guy either. I know I'm alone, but I'm with our son. We've been thinking to have another child next years to lessen the fears we have.
@Kashidanga1971 (1354)
• Bangladesh
11 Nov 12
Looks like you all are passing a vouncy and fantastic relation among yourselves. Have you discovered any artificiality while talking to your guy, thinking which you are assuming that your guy is loving else one other than you? I think there is actually no gap in between you two. Wish you all have good fortunes to get together again and make a happier conjugal life.
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
I only see him when he's around, we've been married for five years and recently we lost our second child. Maybe that triggered all our fears, thinking about third parties that isn't true. I don't know if these things are just imaginary. I know, we have a great marriage, but he was very sad after loosing our second child, he became so jealous, and he's been asking me if I'm seeing someone. I want to have another baby for him to stop thinking about these stuff. I love him and I will always will.
Maybe, it's just an artificial feeling, that he's seeing someone. Thank you for saying that we have no gap, I think you're right.
@Kashidanga1971 (1354)
• Bangladesh
11 Nov 12
Looks like you all are passing a vouncy and fantastic relation among yourselves. Have you discovered any artificiality while talking to your guy, thinking which you are assuming that your guy is loving else one other than you? I think there is actually no gap in between you two. Wish you all have good fortunes to get together again and make a happier conjugal life.
@mydanods (6513)
• Nigeria
11 Nov 12
if i were in your shoes, i'd look for someone to talk to and try to understand why i should fall in love with a person that is far away, particularly when i am feeling lonely. it could be true love. you never can tell. what i'd suggest to you is to cure yourself of loneliness first and tell yourself that you are not addicted to your online communication, before wanting to fall in love with a person who's so far away from you. it's a risk to give your heart to someone whom you cannot vouch for except for online conversations and chats.
@ellyse2003 (1463)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
Yeah, I have to talk to some of my friends, that's why I'm also doing this here, I want to talk to other people too. He's my husband that's why I have to fall in love with him every day. Though we talk a lot every morning, there are times that we talk about third parties, he's afraid that I might be seeing someone. We have the same fears you know. After my miscarriage this year, he was very sad and disappointed, he stayed here for nine months for us to have another child, so he gave all his support for my pregnancy, after my first check up we we're very happy but after a few months we lost the baby. So I think, that triggered our fears. Next year, he's coming home again and wants us to try again.
@sakurage123 (77)
• Philippines
14 Nov 12
If you really love a person you must trust him with all your heart and soul.It doesn't matter how far you are with each other as long as you are close at heart.Love needs trust always remember that.It doesn't also mean he has another woman if he will tell you to talk with others.He is just worry about you and wants you to be happy when his not around.It's one way of caring you in times that his not around.You can show how much you love him and care for him by trusting him everyday.
