I forgive but never trust them again

In my case, it is very hard to forgive, especially if the person seeking forgiveness is not owning up to his or her mistakes and makes an initiative to show that he or she have changed. Unless the person who offended me has shown true remorse, then I will be able to forgive. With regards to trusting people, I make sure that there are some deep dark secrets of my own that I will take to my grave. Bestfriends are the best, but they can be your worst enemy as well and all those secrets can be used againts you. So as much as possible, I do not share ALL of my secrets and dreams. Not because I am selfish or I am not the one to share, but because I just want to protect myself. As humans, we also fail. We commit mistakes and we also let people down, even tose who are dear to us.

I don't forgive or forget. Once a person loses my trust, they can never get it back.

Hi hlf! It is absolutely wrong on someone's part to break your trust and share your secret with someone. However, you must be aware that a 'secret' does not remain a 'secret' if it is shared by anyone (even if the most trusted friend). Once the secret is out it is like a cat out of bag and it becomes a 'open' fact. You must take a lesson from this episode and should not 'share' any of your 'secrets' with anyone. I will forgive the person, who breaks my trust but s/he will lose my trust forever.

It seems it is absolutely difficult to keep secret. That's why many people cannot kept them for long. There is a saying " Secret is by telling one person at a time". Therefore, I normally reject it if someone says they have a secret to tell. I personally also do not like to share my secrets with anyone. I am just like you, "I can forgive, but I will never forget, that person has lost my trust!"

its true when someone betray on us, we can easily forgive them but will never trust them in future. in not so sure i have share really big secret or not, i think i m not. also im not sure what secret have u share with your friend that make u angry at first when u know she betray on u. hope that not a realy big secret u have.

yes i forgive her, but never close as before..because i know that i cant trust her anymore..

It's a good thing to forgive but I don't blame you if you still don't trust them. Because I experience to be that way before and still recover from the pain. Trust must be gain not easily give to anyone who betray us...

hi, we can forgive and it will not easy depend upon the situation,and yes of course we should forgive them but its really hard to return the trust we gave to a person who betrayed us,trust is really hard to build in a friendship even in a relationship.

I am confused about what/whom you are talking. Man (he) or woman (she)? Anyway if it comes to trust we all have our own definition about that. I don't think I am able to forgive if anyone broke my trust (and I don't easily trust anyone plus you can abuse me for years). Over means over to me and if so it's the end. I will never say I forgive someone if I am not able to. It's easier to say as to do. Plus to my opinion there is a very good reason why I should not forget what is happenend. If I would so easily forgive, forget, the same thing would happen to me again and again and again. So if the relationship/trust is broke it won't be fixed anymore. No matter if it's about family, my children, neighbours, strangers, friends, etc. What is broke is broke forever.. you can try to glue it but it's still broke and it will never be new again.

I believe that to be a good person I must forgive, but not neccesarily forget what a person has done to me. When it comes to telling some one my secrets that I don't want anyone to know I would first have to tell some one I trust. I would have told a person that I thought I trusted some thing just to see if they were trust worthy. I don't tell too many people my secrets because I'm not sure that I would be able to trust them to keep it secret.

Secrets are never good. They are all made to be broken. Sorry your friend let you down.

Yes, I already experienced that and it was not that so easy anymore to surrender my trust and divulge my secrets to her.I would tell sort of it but not the full detail. Though I still believe that nobody is perfect and she was forgiven but the thought that I will trust her so much is not that so easy anymore. I would think twice either.

Yes, you should do the things like that. When you told her the secret, you must have told her that she mustn't tell anybody else. You trust her, but her behavior let you despair. I hate this sort of person. And I won't trust this sort of person certainly. In China, there is an old saying. One boy is grazing his sheep on the hillside. He wants to play tricks on the adults at the foot of the hill. So he cheats the adults and shouts to them that some wolves are running to eat his sheep. Then the adults all stop their work to help the boy. When the adults climb on the hillside, they see no wolves are on the hillside. And then, the boy tells the adults that he just wants to play a joke to them. When the adults come back to work at the foot of the hill, he shouts to the adults that some wolves are running to eat his sheep again. When the adults return to the hillside again, they still don't see the wolves. At the same time, they know they have been cheated by the boy again. The boy laughs out loud. The adults come back to the foot of the hill to work again. After a while, some wolves really run to eat the boy's sheep. He shouts to the adults for help, but no one wants stop his work to help him. They all feel that the boy wants to cheat them again. As the result, the poor boy's sheep are all eaten by the wolves. In a word, we mustn't cheat others and we need to live up our promise.

I have been once. Since that day, I never trust anyone again. Just keep myself aware. Sometimes people who are very close to you can back-stabbed you badly though. #true story of me :)

Absolutely. You should always forgive. Means letting go of what someone has done wrong. Not expecting them to "pay back" for something they did wrong. But, you still need to have WISDOM. Wisdom is not hitting yourself in the head twice. You swing a bat wrong, and hit yourself. It hurts. You don't do that again. You learn to either swing the bat better so you don't hit yourself, or learn not to take the swing. Similarly, you gain wisdom, and don't give secrets to someone who can't keep their mouth shut. You don't trust them again, and have yourself get hurt again. It's wisdom. Doing something more wisely, so you don't end up here again. Now, if they truly repent, where they admit their guilt, and admit they did wrong, and come to you to ask for forgiveness... then you might think about trusting them.... IN THE FUTURE. After they have proven themselves trustworthy, not like over the past two days, but over the last year, then maybe you trust them again. But if they are not repentant... if they don't come asking for forgiveness, or worse if they think they didn't do anything wrong... No no no... that person is off the list. You can't trust them. Move on. Find new friends.

Yes, you are right. We may be able to forgive someone who hurt you deeply. But we may not be able to trust that person again. As the saying goes: 'The wound heals but the scar remains.' So each time you look at scar you will be reminded of the wound.

Yes I too was in same situation. What I did was to forgive but so that person realize conquences, I usually don't hang out with!

i think you are right! forgiveness brings us better life, and of course we cannot trust them again until they are once again gain our trust. this attitude to life is worth pride.

yeah. i'm totaly agree with you. trusting someone is difficult one. especially when that person betray you once. but, there is lesson that we can learn that we cannot give our secret to someone else even to our close friend. may be we can trust them, but sometime there is situation that can make them lose control and tell our secret.

Yes I've been there so many times.I trust,forgive,then betrayed again.But when I got tired trusting the cycle became I trust,I forgive,I'll never forget,I'll never trust you again.