Thanksgiving...........

You could just talk to your family and explain things to them and tell them you don't want to go and why. Or you go and if they upset you or start fighting you could just leave. I really am sorry this happens to you when you visit them and i hope you and your son have a happy and wonderful Thanksgiving despite how your family is.

I know how you feel. There is always that one annoying person who will try their best to spoil the holiday for you and possibly others in the family when it's time for any holiday to roll around again. It is what really doesn't make me get excited about the holidays anymore, and actually dread them coming. For years it was my father's drinking, then it was his mother acting like a fool, and now it's my mother ruinging it with just a handful of us left. I'm just thinking of wanting to spend it alone if I have to sometimes, and that goes for most other holidays too and not just Thanksgiving. My mother here makes everyone, especially me thik that she is the most important one here and does the cooking, etc but does it in a very obnoxious way by accusing me of putting this or that in the wrong place, moving something in the fridge, etc when it turns out she was the one who did it. Just petty things like this but she somehow knows it pushes my buttons and makes me stressed. She is a critique one, notices everything out of place and then if someone else wants to critique her for a chance all hell breaks loose. I would rather just spend the holidays alone or with a loved one if I had one than her anymore. I wish you all the best, and will pray that nothing sad happens. Please pray for me also? We can get past this and try to enjoy ourselves f we just consider the source, and tell ourselves that we will still be happy no matter what the miserable people do or say. They are just miserable inside and it's coming out of them and onto us. There is no place I could go either to avoid it really so I might as well just ignore the people who have nothing better to say than to bring others down. I try to tell myself that everyday, it has been starting up already though with my mother. She knit picks/critiques all the time over silly petty stupid things and it drives me nuts! The world would be better if I could use duct tape and put it over her mouth legally, sometimes. It gets that bad. Seriously. I don't normally think of covering people's mouth's w/ duct tape but if you heard what she says sometimes you would understand, she treats my dad the same way cause we're both easy going people who are kind. She doesn't dare do this to my brother caused he will probably scream at her.

I would do what I thought was best for me and my kids. Make your own dinner at your place if you can and drop in to visit after, if would make my own traditions and leave it at that. If the arguing starts, just say you cae to enjoy the holiday and family and now its time to go. I got tired of that stuff a long time ago. I have got angry myself about visiting on the holidays and have got up to leave, whether I had dinner already or not and just said "I came to spend the holidays with my family, not to argue, if it doesn't stop, we'll leave because I don't need this BS!" My son has come over and asked if we had extra before because he has said that he was at his dads, dad gets drunk, starts yelling and they weren't staying. Just get yourself an option in case you decide to leave.

hi myson and I are all thats left of our family adn I an in this tiresome retirement center and hes in a one bedroom section 8 apartment I wanted to have him as a guest tomorrow but darn they switched the holiday dinner to today inside of tomorrow.so I think he has to work today.well I need to think about what I am grateful for. I know in families sometimes some clash and it makes it hard on a holiday in which we shoulds all be thankful.Go and stay long enough to eat t heh clear out before anyone has time to start a geud or quarrel.

Well, you can look at it this way: Does it matter what kind of a first Thanksgiving he has? Or is it all that matters is that he is with family on Thanksgiving? Because apparently, you can't have a happy Thanksgiving and be with family. So your choice is give your son a miserable first Thanksgiving with family or a happy one doing something else. If you go to the family Thanksgiving your son's first impression of Thanksgiving will be that it's a bad thing where people fight and everyone is yelling and scaring him. Most likely this type of scenario will make him cry, making it worse for him. He will also sense the stress you're feeling - little kids are not immune to feeling this kind of thing. They pick up vibes much easier than you think. So people yelling and arguing and being unpleasant and mean to each other will be your son's first Thanksgiving. His first experience with Thanksgiving will leave a lasting impression. Is that what you want to give your son on Thanksgiving? When my son was little I wouldn't have cared who hated me. My son came first and foremost in my life. I would never willingly or knowingly take him to a place where this type of atmosphere prevailed. Your son can be upset and miserable or he can have a happy day with you. The choice is yours. You are in control of whether he has a good day or a bad day, not your family. You can deal with them not liking you much better than he's able to deal with what will be going on at their house that day. I hope I've given you a different perspective on this. Sometimes someone else can look at a situation more clearly than those involved. And if you don't go and you get any flack for it why don't you tell them that you prefer your son not to be upset by their inconsiderate behavior towards each other and you. If you don't go and they hate you it's not because you didn't go, it's because you didn't let them bully you. It sounds like they've been pushing you around for a long time. If someone in my family wants to hate me because I don't do everything they tell me to - TOO BAD. They aren't the only ones with feelings and maybe it's time they started respecting you instead of pushing you around.

Hi, I'm not an American but I do work for an American company and knows that Thanksgiving is the best holiday for you. In our country we love Christmas. Both holidays are important for the family. I child needs to be surrounded with people that are loving each other and not with people that are fighting each other. I myself have family issues. I also get a fight with my cousin because we are of the same age and both females. She's threatened of me and was afraid I'll take everything from her. I really caused a lot of pain and heartaches for me. So we decided to live separately from them. After that, life became much much better.

Bless your heart like you do not have enough to go through. My EX-MIL made us come to every holiday at HER house and SHE cooked. Well regardless whether we ate a meal at her house, whether it was Thanksgiving or Christmas I still had to cook had 5 children and hubby and I. So one year she called and wanted to know what time we would be over. My husband answered the phone and saw I was taking OUR turkey out of the oven so he told her the turkey was coming out of the oven now so we would be leaving. When I got over to the inlaws house, she immediately met me at the door wanting to know why I was making a turkey because SHE made one. I said well you know this is one meal and I have them home for 4 days so figured I would make one too. I never heard so much b****ing in one sitting at Thanksgiving! I am glad now I am in Florida and DIVORCED to this man that could never stand up to his mother for me. So do what is best for your family and even if you have to leave, make the day fun for YOUR children. And tell them the story of a REAL Thanksgiving which would be the first. Much love your way.

Sounds like my family, my Mother is very controlling and is jealous. She wants control in our lives, and if we dont do what she says we should we have sc*ewed our lives up. She then will pick on me, saying how I am going no where, I am nothing because I am not like the rest of them with a boyfriend, married, and throwing out a few kids. I have goals, and my goals of my life isnt to marriage, and have kids then do nothing (like she did). Since I am not following in her footsteps and she hasnt done anythign with her life she is taking it out on me. I have tried talking to her but she just makes it worse. So I simple ignore her, and if we have to get to together for family funtions I will ignore her or limited amount of talking.

Thanksgiving is a great day for me and my son. It was 2 years ago on thanksgiving I decided to leave my abusive husband and start again. Im glad to god it all turned out well for us.