Mum and dad argued today for money
By wongchoiyee
@wongchoiyee (7413)
Malaysia
November 20, 2012 9:25am CST
Well, I was as usual talking about going to work tomorrow and told my dad that I need him to support for one month, after that I get my salary and I can no longer asking money from him. So my dad replied me, "Girl, you don't give me pressure okay, I can't find RM20 for you everyday. You just keep on your flexible job, okay?". I was upset and told my dad that flexible doesn't give me any basic salary. I have to work for the commission and its hard when you can't do the impossible. Mum then add on, "See how you teach your daughter? Always suggest her to do flexible job, it ain't great if we both die someday, she will be a beggar, advise her to give her heart out to work if she want to live!". I went out after the arguement, and drove to a minimarket to buy some drinks and went back after 30 mins. I come in the house and told mum, "Mum I am not a loser that I can't even manage a job, its just that my job isn't 9 to 5 and its flexible, I still have the heart to do and stand on my own feet". Mum said,"don't disturbed me I am watching tv". In my heart, I am so frust and want this to be settle. I can't take it any longer, maybe because of the money I get, I always want to be independent. But in my work, every now and then, there are interruptions that I don't want, conflict from colleagues and bosses, after that at home I can't be peaceful cos mum is always asking me the same thing everyday. I hate this life. What can I do to get comfortable doing something I want to do?
2 people like this
17 responses
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
20 Nov 12
Hello Wongchoiyee, Just do what you must to live and save money. Your story made me realize how lucky I am for having a mom that doesn't force me to get a job and be independent. in fact, it's the other way around and that is to stay with her all the time and me being around when she comes home. Don't hate your life, a lot has it worse. you know if that is what they think about all the time, i guess you should tough enough yourself and look for a better job. your parents doesn't realize that having you around is the best thing in their lives and not to let those comments bother you.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
You have a good life, your family did not pressure you at all, its quite torturing to be in my situation. Anyway, if they do not appreciate me anymore I would not take a second chance to impress them again.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
20 Nov 12
This is common for all couple some time arguments for money some time for spending more money or for high monthly budget etc. Ohhh nobody is loose why you feel this. Dont take serious of your mom words now she is anger. But after some time she realize and she loves you. Some time we also argue but after some time manage and talk politely to each other and find the solution.
2 people like this
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
ok that's fine with me but don't take me in as a topic to argue, which I don't like, they often do that.
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
20 Nov 12
yes of course we should not take it to heart, as they need time to come out of that frustration ,leave them alone for some time.
2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
20 Nov 12
Why not look for a good job that can give you enough salary to lived alone.
I mean, look for a job and once you are stable try to rent a room to live alone that way you can show your parents that you can stand on your own.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
I have a friend who just moved out earlier this year, she had invited me to stay with her and support me for one month until I get a job but I don't think I can ever repay her kindness. And I still love my family very much, but I visits her every weekend to patch up on things like family and friends. You know its better to stand on our own feet, I am a person who doesn't like to owe people's kindness.
@francesca5 (1344)
•
20 Nov 12
If you could do absolutely any job in the whole wide world, absolutely anything, no barriers, no money issues, no geographical issues, no age issues, no qualifications issues, what would you want to do?
1 person likes this
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
How come there are none of these? I will work like a mad cow in any job doesn't matter, maybe promoter at shopping center.
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
20 Nov 12
well we often gets disturbed when parents quarrel but don't take it to heart they become normal after sometime .you concentrate on your career. Its better to leave them alone when they quarrel as they are also human beings .They need time to makeup their mind and come out of that disturbance.
2 people like this
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
I don't feel disturbed at all, just that they keep taking me in the conversation which I don't think I can keep my mouth shut.
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
20 Nov 12
This is a god suggestion indeed.Spend time which gives you joy and forget about the pain.Go ahead and remember there are people on this earth who are struggling for a meal you are lucky enough you can do anything.
1 person likes this
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
@prashu
I am lucky in a sense that my family members tolerate me sometimes, outside of my home I can't do anything I want like in the office, I can't do my work properly because of interruptions from nosy people, gossiping makes me feel hurt, and so on. You know, working in the office.
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
I'm sorry that you feel that way. I suggest you try to find a better job without quitting yet the current one. Conflict from colleagues and bosses is definitely not good. You spend a lot of time in your workplace and it really does make a difference if you are working in a healthy environment. Try to save some money and try to enjoy some of it too since you deserve it.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
Yes, people who are inconsiderate often find fault with each other in the office, bully the weakest one, and so on. However, I am a fair person, not the one who follow the trend and make people life miserable. How good if all the people are willing to change their attitude for a better tomorrow. Sadly this is the reality, good versus bad.
@bryanwmc (1051)
• Malaysia
21 Nov 12
If my daughter ever ask me to support her for a month financially as she tries to get on her feet ,i will not hestitate at all,in fact i ll give her everything i can afford just to be sure she will be able to achieve her target n even if not then never mind.it is just money,paper to me that we use to exchange other life's conveniences. your dad sounds like very " gu hon " la ...stingy or a miser with money.
and also in response to your quesstion, think the answer to your question is , 1st of all , you need to decide what are the things you like to do before you can make any plans to any direction, what makes you happy and look for things that way/
p.s..--hey choi yee !..just curious..about something., --i notice that you are basically writing in a way that is a direct translation from cantonese into english...-or m i wrong? -reading your post , and in my mind translating the flow of words from english into cantonese and surprisingly it made sense..were you thinking in cantonese and converting it to english when you were writing this discusion posting
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
ha...ha...not actually everytime, sometimes, you know people in mylot write in a style that is very funny and quick and I am trying to do that, its hard but still trying. Good Day.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
20 Nov 12
that is quite disturbing at this young age and highly intolerable for sure,every family has it just for daily expense,we fight and its common,convince them and i am sure money wont be a factor in this life
1 person likes this
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
I guess people like me should die at young age, did not have the ability to cope with this anymore.
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
25 Nov 12
Money is always what that makes people fight for. From the other discussions you started before I can say that generally your family does not go along that well. Now about money issue, I am not sure what job you are doing but I believe you know what is best for you. Identify your path and work for it and eventually you will find your way out from this life full of challenges and difficulties.
@sourabharoy1992 (730)
• India
20 Nov 12
I think you should get married that maybe you can get support from your husband. And after that you can be independent.
Life is very wonderful things don't hate it. You are now upset and irritate by everyone that you hate this life. Why you forgetting happy moments? You enjoy every happy moments for your life that time you may be think beautiful life. Am I right?
So mind it we need sadness for feel happiness. We need dark for feel light. Everything is needed in life. Enjoy your life. Bless you gently passed your bad time and wake up with some good time.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
You mean I am stressful because I don't have a husband. You are wrong, I can be very happy also just that I don't think these handful events will make me feel that way.
@sourabharoy1992 (730)
• India
22 Nov 12
You can't understand my words. You said that your parents did not support you that I suggest you for get married that you will get more support from your husband.
@JonGilbert (111)
• Philippines
21 Nov 12
That is the problem when you have lots of money, no hard feelings ok.. but for me its like that.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
We don't have lots of money, today work today money, if no work no money. My father is like that since I am born.
@passion4fassion (996)
• Philippines
20 Nov 12
that's sad sorry to here that well i know how you feel it happen a lot now just feel sorry to the people who get hurt sometimes people think bout money not about the feelings
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
Ignoring and don't think about people feelings is inconsiderate, it breaks my heart everytime and don't think ever will trust anyone deeply 100%
@swetify620 (302)
• Australia
25 Nov 12
its just so sad to think why some parents like that,why they want there children to fucos on working..they should support u because that there responsibilty to be with thier children in times of sadness...if ur parents always like that everday,im pretty sure no one can stand it.try to spend sometimes on ur self,enjoy ur life,go on holiday sometimes with ur close freinds or relatives and forget ur family cycle for a while...:)
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
23 Nov 12
Honestly, the first step that you need to take in order to find work that you will forever be comfortable doing is to find something that you are passionate about. You should explore yourself and start to map out what you feel like you really should be doing with your life. After you've determined those things that you really enjoy doing, then you can start to narrow down the fields that you might be interested in working in.
That is what I've done and that is how I've come to working at home for right now and I know that after the first of the year I'm going to start looking for work doing data entry.
@rotloi2 (321)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 12
sometimes we have to live within mean.. sometimes we have to do crucial decision ask people to help take care since incapable to cater needs .. i felt sorry on your situation. i hope everything will be okay. to be honest, i never had this pressure only the pressure of study and become smart. since we are chinese. i think you have to find good job with good attitude boss.
