Some people....you just can't tell them anything!!
@MsControversy (446)
United States
November 20, 2012 11:21pm CST
Okay, right now I'm really just going to vent, although opinions and more trash talk is welcome!!!! 
I'm not really sure where to start, but I'm going to try to explain.....Okay years ago, when he was in his early-mid 20's, my husband was a hustler, a swindler and a womanizing pig. He had a one night stand with a woman who was a friend of a friend and she ended up pregnant. She tried to start a relationship with him, but he was having none of it, my husband was not a relationship type guy, although he was still sleeping with her. After the baby was born, he stayed around for the first six months of her life and then he bailed. My husband was into the streets heavy. Before any of you attack me, I am NOT making any excuses for him nor will I defend his actions in ANY way because he was WRONG, he knows it, and he knows how I feel about it. He was a bad father. He didn't see his daughter again until she was four, and then again until she was nine and yet again until she was thirteen; she is seventeen now.
Understandably, there was a lot of animosity from the mother because for the first thirteen years of her daughter's life, she raised her on her own, with her dad coming around every few years as he pleased. Naturally, this was passed on to the daughter. Around the time my husband and I got married was when he was starting to get back in her life for good and pay child support and try to be a dad, really to no avail because the mother was very bitter and angry and the daughter follows suit.
Flash forward to now. He still tries hard to be in his daughter's life and try to make up for the mistakes that he's made in the past, but unfortunately, the mother and daughter are still very bitter and throw in his face ALL the time what a bad father he was and all the bad stuff that he's done. What I will do is defend my husband's honor NOW. He is a completely different person, he has grown up and he takes FULL responsibility for his actions and realizes that it's his own fault that his daughter feels the way that she does.
Now, to the venting part. I HATE her mother! I hate that b**** with every ounce of my being!!! I seriously wish that she would fall off the face of the Earth!! She has EVERY right to be angry with my husband and have ill feelings towards him, I understand that part. The part that pisses me off is the fact that now, instead of pointing the finger at HIM, she points it at ME and our kids together. Um, HELLO! I didn't even KNOW him back then. When his daughter was born, I was only NINE years old!! I understand, on the daughter's behalf, that she gets upset sometimes because he is in our kids' lives and has been since they were born. He's never missed a doctor's appointment, a football game, a dance recital, a parent-teacher conference, nothing. They get to see their dad every day and she didn't get to have him in her life for that, I get that! And I can sympathize with her, but it's not MY fault!!
His daughter hates me and I've never been anything but nice to that girl. The mother hates me even more. She hated me before she even met me. As soon as he started coming back around when she was thirteen and we were already married, I was instantly a "s**t" and a "b****" that she didn't want her daughter around. His daughter won't visit us and her mom tries to dictate how they will spend time together when they do see each other, which is only about once a month. If she needs money for something, even though she gets child support, he does his best to get it to her, but if he comes up short, all hell breaks loose on ME! It becomes my fault that he can't give his daughter any extra because he's "too busy providing for me and my kids" UM B**** they're HIS kids too.
She inboxes me constantly on Facebook. If I block her, she will make a new page. All I ever hear is how miserable her life has been taking care of the daughter by herself and that I don't care because he's here for me and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!! She will call him to curse him out and when he hangs up on her, she calls me too. I have HOURS worth of her rambling voice mails telling me how much she hates me and that he should have stood up and did the right thing back then and married her and took care of their daughter and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!! Um you stupid a** you shouldn't have got drunk and slept with someone you barely knew! DUH!! I've tried to sympathize with this woman for the past FOUR years and tell her that I'm sorry that things went the way they did, but there's nothing we can do about it NOW! You cannot move forward if you are always living in the PAST! Berating him and throwing his mistakes in his face and trash talking him to their daughter is NOT helping matters. It takes TWO to tango. If she didn't want to get pregnant, she shouldn't have slept around! Same goes for him! She ruins my day damn near every day!
I've tried to get a restraining order on her and file for harassment but it fell through. She is so bitter and spiteful! I could never see myself acting the way that she does. He is trying to be there now, but how can you b**** at him for not being there when he is trying to be and then b**** at him some more when he throws his hands up. He cannot have a conversation with his daughter without her mom in the background putting in her two cents on EVERYTHING that is said! UGH! I texted her to wish her Happy Birthday last week only because it's the right thing to do and within 20 minutes I had an inbox a mile long from her mom telling me to stop pretending that I care so much about her daughter when all I truly care about is that MY kids have a dad while hers went for 13 years without one! OMG, like at what point do you move ON?!?! How can they even attempt to repair a father/daughter relationship that MAY be damaged FOREVER because HE screwed up so much when all SHE does is make things WORSE?!?!? UGH
Okay....I'm done now. To any of you who read this WHOLE thing ALL the way through, I commend you for your patience and hope you understand!!! Thanks and Happy myLotting!
I'm not really sure where to start, but I'm going to try to explain.....Okay years ago, when he was in his early-mid 20's, my husband was a hustler, a swindler and a womanizing pig. He had a one night stand with a woman who was a friend of a friend and she ended up pregnant. She tried to start a relationship with him, but he was having none of it, my husband was not a relationship type guy, although he was still sleeping with her. After the baby was born, he stayed around for the first six months of her life and then he bailed. My husband was into the streets heavy. Before any of you attack me, I am NOT making any excuses for him nor will I defend his actions in ANY way because he was WRONG, he knows it, and he knows how I feel about it. He was a bad father. He didn't see his daughter again until she was four, and then again until she was nine and yet again until she was thirteen; she is seventeen now.
Understandably, there was a lot of animosity from the mother because for the first thirteen years of her daughter's life, she raised her on her own, with her dad coming around every few years as he pleased. Naturally, this was passed on to the daughter. Around the time my husband and I got married was when he was starting to get back in her life for good and pay child support and try to be a dad, really to no avail because the mother was very bitter and angry and the daughter follows suit.
Flash forward to now. He still tries hard to be in his daughter's life and try to make up for the mistakes that he's made in the past, but unfortunately, the mother and daughter are still very bitter and throw in his face ALL the time what a bad father he was and all the bad stuff that he's done. What I will do is defend my husband's honor NOW. He is a completely different person, he has grown up and he takes FULL responsibility for his actions and realizes that it's his own fault that his daughter feels the way that she does.
Now, to the venting part. I HATE her mother! I hate that b**** with every ounce of my being!!! I seriously wish that she would fall off the face of the Earth!! She has EVERY right to be angry with my husband and have ill feelings towards him, I understand that part. The part that pisses me off is the fact that now, instead of pointing the finger at HIM, she points it at ME and our kids together. Um, HELLO! I didn't even KNOW him back then. When his daughter was born, I was only NINE years old!! I understand, on the daughter's behalf, that she gets upset sometimes because he is in our kids' lives and has been since they were born. He's never missed a doctor's appointment, a football game, a dance recital, a parent-teacher conference, nothing. They get to see their dad every day and she didn't get to have him in her life for that, I get that! And I can sympathize with her, but it's not MY fault!!
His daughter hates me and I've never been anything but nice to that girl. The mother hates me even more. She hated me before she even met me. As soon as he started coming back around when she was thirteen and we were already married, I was instantly a "s**t" and a "b****" that she didn't want her daughter around. His daughter won't visit us and her mom tries to dictate how they will spend time together when they do see each other, which is only about once a month. If she needs money for something, even though she gets child support, he does his best to get it to her, but if he comes up short, all hell breaks loose on ME! It becomes my fault that he can't give his daughter any extra because he's "too busy providing for me and my kids" UM B**** they're HIS kids too.
She inboxes me constantly on Facebook. If I block her, she will make a new page. All I ever hear is how miserable her life has been taking care of the daughter by herself and that I don't care because he's here for me and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!! She will call him to curse him out and when he hangs up on her, she calls me too. I have HOURS worth of her rambling voice mails telling me how much she hates me and that he should have stood up and did the right thing back then and married her and took care of their daughter and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!! Um you stupid a** you shouldn't have got drunk and slept with someone you barely knew! DUH!! I've tried to sympathize with this woman for the past FOUR years and tell her that I'm sorry that things went the way they did, but there's nothing we can do about it NOW! You cannot move forward if you are always living in the PAST! Berating him and throwing his mistakes in his face and trash talking him to their daughter is NOT helping matters. It takes TWO to tango. If she didn't want to get pregnant, she shouldn't have slept around! Same goes for him! She ruins my day damn near every day!
I've tried to get a restraining order on her and file for harassment but it fell through. She is so bitter and spiteful! I could never see myself acting the way that she does. He is trying to be there now, but how can you b**** at him for not being there when he is trying to be and then b**** at him some more when he throws his hands up. He cannot have a conversation with his daughter without her mom in the background putting in her two cents on EVERYTHING that is said! UGH! I texted her to wish her Happy Birthday last week only because it's the right thing to do and within 20 minutes I had an inbox a mile long from her mom telling me to stop pretending that I care so much about her daughter when all I truly care about is that MY kids have a dad while hers went for 13 years without one! OMG, like at what point do you move ON?!?! How can they even attempt to repair a father/daughter relationship that MAY be damaged FOREVER because HE screwed up so much when all SHE does is make things WORSE?!?!? UGH
Okay....I'm done now. To any of you who read this WHOLE thing ALL the way through, I commend you for your patience and hope you understand!!! Thanks and Happy myLotting!2 people like this
9 responses
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
22 Nov 12
You owe me a visiline for reading this long. my eyes hurt just kidding. Well, don't be upset just be with yourself and your children. They are more important than your wife. and yes don't ever stop communicating with them you have to let them know that you are there for them. Relax and move on and take things going. Whew I almost got a palpitations with this. LOL. I can feel you. take a deep breath.
@MsControversy (446)
• United States
23 Nov 12
??? I'm a little confused at your response...I AM the wife....? I'm upset at my HUSBAND's daughter's mother....did you reply to the right thing? Lol....and I'm a little offended that you would tell someone just worry about the kids, don't worry about your wife...as his wife, I am just as important as our kids, we are family. Idk exactly what you're trying to say or maybe you didn't read it right...idk...
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
23 Nov 12
My sincere apologies. now you don't own me a vasiline, i owe you a box of tissue paper. Yes, dont be offended with me saying about the wife. I got it, LOL sorry slow processors, with virus. Can't you just leave everything to your husband, since it is his problem. I mean can't he just tell her to stop bothering you since you have nothing to do with it. Or can you just ignore what she's saying. She's bitter, she's bi!tch, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to go down to her level. Just be careful and vigilant and also tell your children to do the same. You don't know how much this bitter b!tch can do to harm you and your kids. take care.
@unicorn1966 (7)
• United States
22 Nov 12
This is a very frustrating and sad situation. I hope that everything works out well for you and your family. It's a shame that there are people in this world who enjoy making people's lives miserable. How can you even stay away from someone like her? I know this is very hard for you to handle, and I wish you all the best. I feel sorry for her because she will never have what you have. A very loving and caring husband. She is setting a very bad example for her daughter. Don't let her ruin your holidays, but she's going to try her best to. Take care and be strong.........
@MsControversy (446)
• United States
22 Nov 12
Yes, it is SUPER frustrating, I just feel like my hands are so tied. I can talk until I'm blue in the face but that woman is so set in her ways that it just doesn't matter and she's turning her daughter into her little puppet that thinks and feels everything that she does. I'm completely forgetting about their crap over the holiday, even though the daughter is coming for Thanksgiving tomorrow and mommy dearest will probably be the one to bring her here, I'm not going to even glance the mom's way when she drops her off! Thank you for your response and enjoy your holiday!!
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
21 Nov 12
I'm sorry that your Post was so long that I didn't try to read it, so I'll respond to the title.
Let me just say," Of course you can't just tell anybody anything!"
Each person has their own ideas,( as they are entitled to have) and who are we to instruct, or try to teach them any different!
Now if they come asking, That's a different story of which we will not get into at this time!
@MsControversy (446)
• United States
22 Nov 12
Lol, yes it was quite long, though I didn't realize how much I typed nor did I intend it to be lol. It's a long rant about baby mama drama! Lol, have a good holiday!!
@chrystalia (1208)
• Tucson, Arizona
22 Nov 12
As far as I can see-- she is the one with serious freaking issues here, and on top of that, she passed those isues on to her kid, which in my view is totally wrong. According to my boys, when their dad divorced me, I never dsaid a single word against him to them-- and I hadn't while we were married either, apparently. He, of course, trashed me to his friends, my bosses, and also on the internet--it's been 12 years now, and he STILL trashes me, regularly. When I met him again before I moved up here to Washington, to say goodbye to MY cat that I left with HIM for some reason, I got home from seeing him and asked my oldest son-- WHAT THE !@#$%^& was I THINKING!?! That man is an idiot-- and it sounds like the now husband's mistake is a serious idiot as well.
He's with you and your kids. He's NOT with her, or HER daughter, and I say HER daughter because she raised this kid without him-- no matter why that happened, it did. The kid will probably never get around to growing up and acting her age, with a mother like that in the picture. People who raise their children like that really p**s me off. If she has problems with what happened, FINE. It sounds to me like she deserved what she got--since she acted like trash, and no offense, at that time so did he. What did she expect? Knight in shining armor? then maybe she should have kept her legs closed in the first place, and none of this would have happened.
Keep pursuing protection. I'd dump Facebook entirely, and Twitter if you use it. as for the kid-- while your hubby should keep trying to get through to her, you are under no obligation to do so-- and I wouldn't If she grows up and gets a brain and wants to behave like a civilized person, then yes, welcome her. Until then-- forget it-- you have enough to deal with when it comes to the so-called "mom"... Just my opinion, you've been MORE than forgiving and compromising, they haven't.
@chrystalia (1208)
• Tucson, Arizona
22 Nov 12
Some people-- you know, sometimes I wonder if certain women should be spayed, before they get a chance to have kids and ruin them. You're lucky, the kid will be 18 pretty soon, and then mommy won't be getting any more money. I wouldn't give that women a penny over the required child support. People who can't grow up, suck it up and act like responsible adults don't deserve extra consideration. The kid is probably never going to see sense-- since the mom never showed any, and isn't now. I feel sorry for your other half-- yes, he royally messed up. But oh well-- people do grow and change over time-- at least SOME do.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
22 Nov 12
I actually could not stop reading! Lol, it was a long one but worth it...
I completely understand her being angry because I would be too but NOT at you! At first when you were together, I can understand jealousy and bitterness but after so many years that has got to stop also. She needs to understand that it is not your fault what your husband did years and years ago. Was he wrong for doing that to her? Of course! Does he probably already know that? I am sure he does! She is hurting her daughter also by feeding things to her that a child does not need to hear or be involved in...Her daughter will most likely have anger towards her mom once she is grown and gets to know your husband as a good guy, she will ask her mother why she put all of those bad thoughts in her head about her father...
This is a really sad situation. I am sorry your going through so much drama! I absolutely HATE drama and from the sound of it you do too. I really hope one day she wakes up and realizes your husband has changed and learned from his mistakes! I hope she grows up a little bit, she sounds like she needs to. And I really hope your husband and his daughter can make up for lost time sometime soon. =) 
@MsControversy (446)
• United States
22 Nov 12
I completely agree with everything that you said. She is just making things worse for everyone. At this point, her daughter is old enough to make her own decisions and form her own opinions. Her mom is very over bearing and she follows everything that her mom believes, even her own delusional crap about me and the kids that it's our fault that her dad can't do anything extra. He can't do anything extra for her because he pays her almost $600 a month in child support lol. She should have plenty extra because her mom works too, and she's old enough to get a part time job herself. I had a job at 15, she can damn sure get one at 17. It's just a crazy mess that I wish would hurry up and go away. I don't even know if when she turns 18 if that will make a difference. We'll probably deal with that bitter woman until we die! Lol. Thanks for responding and have a wonderful holiday hun!!
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
22 Nov 12
Ohh WOW! So much mess,how do u put up with it!? I could not do it. If that we're me in ur shoes I'd tell the lady flat out that the past is the past and leave it as such. And I'd lay some rules on the table and if she crosses them...I wouldn't be responsible for my actions.
I understand everything I've said about how two can tangle..she's a grown woman now and I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to let go of what happened WAy back when she were younger. She is way out of line when she blames U! 
when she calls next time I dare u to hang up on her face when she calls again! I can picture the look on her face - priceless. Lol!
We all make mistakes in our life and I don't think nothing else matters but that we change our ways and do better. I think that if ppl say its impossible I say it's not. I know a ton of ppl who used to be bad and then they turn a new leaf. I did. I mean I wasn't bad but I changed my future. I'm just glad ur hubby changed and that he's trying to do better. He need to get together with his daughter alone and have a long talk with her about what happened and all that good stuff. Maybe she'd understand a little more..
That's just me. I had grown up without a dad too. And for a long time when I should have hated his guts I was confused more than ever. For years my mom made me believe that the man I called daddy all those years WASN'T my dad...it wasn't till I was 19 that I opened my eyes about everything. Just bcuz a man helps in the making of the child doesn't make him the father. What he brings to the table does. If there is one thing I want to know about why he did leave is this: y? I understand he wasn't ready. I do and I don't resent him for it. I resent my mom a little bcuz she should have told me....but she had her reasons I guess
Anyways I didn't mean for this to be soo long but for what it's worth I do hope the troubled mom gets over it amd stop bugging u and get a new life and MOVE ON- tell her that!!
when she calls next time I dare u to hang up on her face when she calls again! I can picture the look on her face - priceless. Lol!
We all make mistakes in our life and I don't think nothing else matters but that we change our ways and do better. I think that if ppl say its impossible I say it's not. I know a ton of ppl who used to be bad and then they turn a new leaf. I did. I mean I wasn't bad but I changed my future. I'm just glad ur hubby changed and that he's trying to do better. He need to get together with his daughter alone and have a long talk with her about what happened and all that good stuff. Maybe she'd understand a little more..
That's just me. I had grown up without a dad too. And for a long time when I should have hated his guts I was confused more than ever. For years my mom made me believe that the man I called daddy all those years WASN'T my dad...it wasn't till I was 19 that I opened my eyes about everything. Just bcuz a man helps in the making of the child doesn't make him the father. What he brings to the table does. If there is one thing I want to know about why he did leave is this: y? I understand he wasn't ready. I do and I don't resent him for it. I resent my mom a little bcuz she should have told me....but she had her reasons I guess
Anyways I didn't mean for this to be soo long but for what it's worth I do hope the troubled mom gets over it amd stop bugging u and get a new life and MOVE ON- tell her that!!@MsControversy (446)
• United States
22 Nov 12
OMG girl, it's HORRIBLE! She is really nuts for real! I'm sure that it is very rough growing up without a dad as you said, and I'm sorry that you had to go through that and I'm sure you are a very strong person because of it. Thank you for responding and have a wonderful holiday!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
25 Nov 12
I can totally understand the anger she feels for him not helping her with raising their daughter. I am sure it was rough financially and I'm sure the daughter was very hurt & angry that he was not there for her while she was growing up and needed a dad. I get that it must hurt her to see your kids getting all that she longed for growing up. She doesn't hate you. She hate you got what she should have had and now it probably feels too late for her. She is just about grown now and no longer needs him the way she did as a child.
The mother however, is not helping a bit. In fact she is making it worse and hurtig their daughter more thanshe has already been hurt. For the sake of her daughter, she should be encouraging forgiveness. That is the only way o heal the hurt that she has suffered
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
21 Nov 12
Hi there, I really can not beleve I read this entire post. I
normally don't read any post over 3 paragraphs long...why this
onw I don't know...But I can tell you this after reading this
my head was spinning...
Why on earth would the Restraining Order would fall through..
you have enough on FB to help you out with harrassment plus
the fact of the phone calls..didn't you record some of the
calls before requesting the Order of Protection..
I tell you, talking about D R A M A, wow...be if its too late
and your hubby can't seem to make any lead way with his daughter
he might just have to back off and hopefully when she get grown
she will have a different aapect of her dad...She definately
can look back and remember that he did try to be in her life
at one time but he kept bumping into that wall called her
mother..
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoy your family....
@MsControversy (446)
• United States
21 Nov 12
Yes, I got carried away a little bit, lol. I didn't intend for it, nor did I realize this post was THAT long, lol! Anyways, the restraining order and harassment fell through because before I decided that enough was enough, I had done stupid petty stuff too. She had voice mails of me calling her names back and responses from me to her texts and e-mails, so that's my fault. And I agree that hubby should back off a little bit. He does get to see his daughter and she has her license now, so it makes it a little easier to not have to deal with her mom, but she is a very angry girl. Bur, I try to stay out of what goes on with hubby and daughter because she doesn't like me and I don't want to make things worse. Thanks for reading AND responding and you have a great Thanksgiving too!! =)
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
21 Nov 12
oh my, they are drama queens. This shows how much you are hurt deep in your heart. Its really sad that the mother is making the daughter like this. How can she grow into a good individual? some mistake is already done in the past that's because of both the people and they should try to rectify it by atleast making their daughter's life worth, but instead they are spoiling her, i mean the mom is spoiling her.
You don't loose your patience and try to be yourself just don't bother about her. i think she lost it completely.
@MsControversy (446)
• United States
22 Nov 12
Yes, you're right, they are VERY dramatic. And it does hurt me that things are like this and I end up getting caught in the middle of all this crap. And I think that she has lost it completely too, I'm trying my best to keep my cool! Thank you for your response and have a wonderful holiday!
