Confused
By Nitin Nair
@nitinnair89 (2900)
India
November 21, 2012 8:51pm CST
Hello to all :)
Let me directly go to the point..
So yesterday i had this talk with the girl i love and we were like being sad being unknown of the future and how it will turn out to be.I mean, whether we will be together or not and stuffs like that.Thinking all this made us so confused as to how to proceed.I have told this to my mom and she agreed with me.Now she has to tell her parents at the right time and we are not sure what the outcome might be.
We're not of the same casts but same native place and this troubles me a lot.In India, they don't allow such marriages to take place and it irritates me.
Please share your views.
8 responses
@leeandrew (1225)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
I live in the Philippines and such things don't happen here actually. But back in the early years parents do arranged marriage for their children specially those in the upper class where they protect their wealth and family reputations, but those are not happening now.
I feel sorry for you though co's you can't choose the one you wanna grow old with co's your parents are intervening. I do have a friend who's roots came from India, we were good friends then, and he told us about marriage in India, but he now marries an Filipina and lives here.
You could do a heart to heart talk with your parents, who knows they might change their mind and let you do your thing.
Wishing you well, and happy mylotting.
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@leeandrew (1225)
• Philippines
23 Nov 12
Just hope for what is best. Maybe your girlfriend family will understand their daughters feeling!
God bless!
@nitinnair89 (2900)
• India
22 Nov 12
As i said my mom is ready and agreed to my wish to marry her. I do not know how her parents will react after knowing this so got afraid. Also i do not want to break any relation with them. My mom already met her and talked with her :)
It was a nice meet though.
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@gunsing (142)
• Indonesia
22 Nov 12
you will not be happy if you keep like that. wise words say "Live in the moment".
close your door from yesterday and also the door to tomorrow. there are enough problems to take care for today. so live today to the fullest, then you'll be happier.
for the "casts" thingy; I can't comment; it's kind of culture that you have to follow if you value and honor your culture.
@nitinnair89 (2900)
• India
22 Nov 12
Thanks for the response. I cannot sacrifice my love due to such cultures. Sorry.
@gunsing (142)
• Indonesia
22 Nov 12
that's your call; I bet you're old enough to make such a big decision; and strong enough to take the responsibility of your own life.
but if you ask me, but please don't take my opinion into your consideration; the "grading" to people is not relevant anymore; people are equal and have the same rights and responsibilities for their own life.
@nitinnair89 (2900)
• India
22 Nov 12
Yes. I'm 23. But people here are mostly orthodox and that's why my post..
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
There's no point in worrying about the future. If you want something to happen in the future, you take actions in the present that will ultimately lead into that ideal future.
Like what has already been mentioned by the others, 'Live in the moment!' That's why it's called 'present'
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
22 Nov 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this, if you both are in real love, you must try to convince your parents and get married with their permission, i am also from India and know about the parents attitude towards love marriage. Don't worry, true and real love never forsake, trust your love and start to struggle with a great hope, wish you to get success in your love
@nitinnair89 (2900)
• India
22 Nov 12
Thanks. Actually i was in love before but it was inter-caste so no support from family & we quit. Also the girl betrayed me. Still knowing all this, my new love stands by me. Such purety in heart. So i don't want to lose her
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
22 Nov 12
Yes that's kind of confusing too. so why do keep the relationship that you think you will not have happy ending. Why not just look for someone that will make you happy that is no problem in Indian's custom. Unless you want to fight and defy the custom and go on with your relationship.
@nitinnair89 (2900)
• India
22 Nov 12
We're happy with each other. The astrology part stands as a barrier. I hope it will work fine
@Anshee (49)
• India
26 Nov 12
Hey dear worry of past and future destroys the precious present that is really a present a gift, you both are blessed with true love can scence that, so rather than worrying about future better enjoy your present moments, and as far as your marriage is concerned dont worry be positive, belive i good it really happens you positive are most likely to happen with positive people may god bless you both
@nitinnair89 (2900)
• India
26 Nov 12
Thanks a lot for your good wishes. I appreciate it. I hope everything goes fine. I don't wanna feel pain of break up again. And i want her first love to be special as well
@klystron635 (1519)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
Hi! Your story is like Romeo and Juliet. All the suggestions of those who commented me were great. I'd like to give you a "less serious" advice, why don't you marry your girlfriend then elope somewhere else. Indians are known to be hardworkers so I don't think you'll have problems working anywhere. Then once you have established your reputation, both of you should go back to your parents to explain that you both just love each other so much and don't want the caste system mendling with your love... something like that.
@nitinnair89 (2900)
• India
22 Nov 12
Hi. Thanks for such nice response. It made me smile. Thanks a lot
@hlfbldmom (743)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
Maybe you both could talk to her parents. Show them that you really love each other. Since her parents didn't know about it yet better if you tell them first that you have a relationship. Not a married thing immediately they might disagree but who knows they will think about it and agree. Just be positive about things, about your relationship with her that no matter what happened everything will be alright. Sometimes what we think is what we really happen in the future.
@nitinnair89 (2900)
• India
22 Nov 12
If her parents diagree they may break our friendship so we are waiting for the right time
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