Adopting a baby
By NatachaR
@NatachaR (39)
November 22, 2012 12:46am CST
My husband and I cannot have children. This has been a difficult road to travel in our life through our marriage. The disappointment of not being able to conceive was nothing compared to the emotional "torture" it is and has been through these years of trying to adopt a baby or a young child.
There is so much uncertainty regarding our future. We had a 5 year old girl for 5 months and we wanted to adopt her but the state moved her saying it wasn't a good fit. This poor little girl is now in her 5th home and she is only five years old. How can the state be moving her so many times and how can they not figure out what is wrong and with who to place her so she doesn't get moved so much around. It is so hard to hear from the case worker that this little girl keeps asking for us.
We do not ever want to go through the foster care system again. We cannot bare the heart wrenching feeling of loosing a child we love so much. Never again.
2 responses
@Lovegreen (376)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
I don't have a child too but the doctor says there's still a chance. My husband and I went through several tests and all are normal. All three ob gynecologists I went to say I have a big chance so I'm wondering what could be wrong because we've been trying for four years now. It's a little frustrating because I'm not getting any younger. I pray to God that He grants our wish soon, I know only He can give me that blessing :)
Anyway why can't you have her? If she keeps asking for you that means she felt she has a family in you.
@NatachaR (39)
•
22 Nov 12
Just like with the other 3 homes this child has been in the state just said it is not a good fit. They just took her with very little explanation other then it is not a good fit. Who understands why, but this i know, that every year more then 40,000 foster parents stop being foster parents because they can't deal with the emotional toll it takes to loose these kids. My friends had to go through 16 kids and another family had to go through 29 kids in order to adopt a few of them. I love children and have always tried to be around children my whole life. It is only a hope from here on that we have in regards to our future.
@Lovegreen (376)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
I wonder what effect could this "finding the right fit" do to the children. Imagine moving from one family to another several times. Sad also that foster parents are disheartened
@marguicha (222387)
• Chile
22 Nov 12
I have a couple of friends in your situation, but after much administrative red tape, they finally have 2 children. They are teens now, but they have them since they were little. I remember that the girl`s only sorrow when she was a little girl was that her mom`s hair was curly and hers was straight
. I have another friends who adopted first a baby girl and discovered after having her for some time that she had cerebral palsy. Her mother told me that when they talked to the adoption agency wanting to know more about the biological parents, the agency said they could "change" the baby
. My friends were horrified: they just wanted to know more so that they would know how to take better care of their daughter. I visited them (they live in the US) and the girl`s room was like a little princess room, all pink and beautiful
.
. I have another friends who adopted first a baby girl and discovered after having her for some time that she had cerebral palsy. Her mother told me that when they talked to the adoption agency wanting to know more about the biological parents, the agency said they could "change" the baby . My friends were horrified: they just wanted to know more so that they would know how to take better care of their daughter. I visited them (they live in the US) and the girl`s room was like a little princess room, all pink and beautiful. 