Helping out at Christmas dinner

Once my mom handed the holiday torch to me.. I did it all. I cooked/baked a feast fit for about a dozen kings! I paid, I cooked/baked, I cleaned, I put away, I sent leftovers home..I literally did it all. No one offered help in anyway. And there are around 40 people too! I loved it, but then one year at Thanksgiving I noticed...after the meal....I was the only one in the kitchen cleaning up while everyone else was in the living room visiting and enjoying themselves. About the time I"d get done and go in to sit, they wanted dessert or were ready for the second time around meal (we'd do lunch, and then hang till dinner, eat and disperse) And I'd be at it again, getting it all out, being the last to eat and then by the time I was done cleaning again...everyone was getting ready to go home! It didn't bother me to much, but then when the same thing happened at Christmas...I thought, what the heck? I do all the work all athe expense, and NO ONE helps me in anyway! So the next year...I decided to "deligate" so I could have some visiting time and wasn't so over worked... I did a list and assigned people food to bring. I did all the baking/desserts as that was my speciality, but I set it out based on food groups...need 2 meats, 3-4 vegs, 2-3 salads, potatoes etc. I called and asked each family to choose what they wanted to bring and then I would pick up the slack. My brother didn't cook, but he liked to bake the turkey or ham..so he brought that..or bought a honey baked ham. I even stopped using dishes..and started using paper plates etc.I'd use paper cups and put peoples name on them so everyone knew their glass and I wasn't washing glasses all day as no one could remember where they put theirs etc! Then I as the people dwindled in attendance for one reason or another...the food started dropping and we were down to one of each food group. I just didn't ge tup to do the clean up and noticed that others would! So I just let them and then went in near the end! We don't get together anymore as we are all so far apart, I miss the baking part, but I don't miss all that work!

I have only cooked for Thanksgiving once and then I was pretty much the only one that ate. I didn't bother with it this year as there is no family left in the area I live in right now. I just went to the casino and ate their Thanksgiving buffet which satisfied my needs even though I was alone. Oh well. I hope you had a good one!

On one side of my family, everyone brings something to my aunt's house. On the other side, one family hosts and everyone else just comes...they take turns hosting. My husband's family always goes to his parents house for dinner. If you have the energy, making a nice buffet could be fun. But if that doesn't work out, there will be other things you can do.

we don't have a big family - it'll be my brother and his daughter, my sister and I and probably my brother's girl friend... probably my niece's boyfriend too

Dear marguicha Here in India and being from a non-christian family, though we dont have big family gatherings on such occasions, but we do have a big family gathering during a wedding in the family. When my brother got maried, I remember the house was full of relatives as his was the first wedding in our generation. And I did help out my mom and aunts when they were in the kitchen. Though I wasnt allowed to cook, I helped them in washing and also cutting of the vegetables, not to mention the buying of them too.

hello, Mama Marguicha! I do love helping out my mom in preparing food for Christmas dinner. But I usually cook it here in my house then just bring it over to their house so that we won't be clashing inside her kitchen. Christmas dinner is a big deal and we always see to it that we have more than enough for the whole family. Heavy traffic in both kitchens!

Hi Marguicha, If you have the energy and time and don't mind cooking then that really sounds like a perfect plan. Our family all gathers on Christmas eve. None of us has much money or time so we all bring a dish for the buffet over to my daughters. She has the biggest house and we usually just have a great time together and everyone can eat whenever they want. We play cards & just have a good time.

A few years ago we had a Thanksgiving open house for our employees, and family, and I actually had help in the kitchen A family friend who is a retired chef was coming for dinner, and he came early to help. When I was a kid, my Grandmother had all my aunts to help on holidays, so that worked well. The last 2 years before I moved up here, we had big gatherings on holidays, I usually did buffet style meals, both hot and cold, and my other half would help in the kitchen and with the dishes, which is a good thing when you have a full house. With any luck, you will feel well enough to have a good dinner, and enjoy making it

We are not a large family, but have four generation to come toether, so it is always the sharing of any celebration that makes for a special good time.

Last Christmas was in my house...since it was the last year in our old house the girls did all the cooking and cleaning...thank Goodness for that!...this year we are to get together in my eldest daughter's house so I won't be cooking but I would give her the money to buy some of the food and help prepare salads when I get there. Your arrangement seems good so I hope you have the energy to do it and every thing will be good with your health.

hi, during that holiday,all member of the family talked about the best food and task for everyone,so before that day we already know what we should do or to cook or to prepare,and that was really good for us because all of us didn't panic during that day.

oh God friend, I know that if it well with you and there is really no problem that you can cook for them and spend for everything at the same time, I'm sorry that the chemo would be scheduled in December when every body is making merry, guess it is how things are so all we have to do is adjust, I really admire how you have a dialogue with family, it basically like mine

Its great for families to come together for the holidays. Glad to see you did this as well.