Guy Thing !?!
By hlfbldmom
@hlfbldmom (743)
Philippines
November 23, 2012 9:26am CST
Is it a guy thing to not like to talk on the phone?
I have a friend who is complaining that her boyfriend changed because he didn't call her more often or they don't talk on phone longer. When they first started dating, her boyfriend used to call her every night to talk, and many nights they fell asleep talking. Now, she feels like she have to force him to talk to her at night. He does call, yes, but just to say goodnight, I love you, and sweet dreams to her.
Since they didn't see each other everyday she just want to hear how his day went, and she want to tell him about hers. She miss talking to him but she feels like he doesn't like talking to her anymore. Every night there seems to be some reason why he can't talk. It's late, he's tired, he has work in the morning. he doesn't feel well and so on. She feel sad and hurt and she feels like they aren't close anymore.
Is she being too needy and expecting too much or over thinking things? She can't understand this at all, and she can't help but take it too seriously and personally.
What's your opinion about it?
2 people like this
14 responses
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
23 Nov 12
My husband and I used to talk the same way when we were dating every night before bed. I think its because the guy is trying to get to know us and then once your together there isn't as much to talk about anymore so the phone all the time gets old I guess.
My husband doesn't like the phone anymore either. He still loves me the same, its just before we were not together every day like we are now...Now we don't need the phone as much since we see each other every day.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
24 Nov 12
Yeah I completely second what you said. My husband and I were the same thing. Now we rarely ever talk on the phone. Like you mentioned at the start of relationship the couple is trying to get to know one another. After their is an established relationship and bond they make not talk as often or as much. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love her or care about her. It's just that there are other responsibilities in life we have to attend too.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
I think that is a very typical thing for a guy to be calling his partner less as their relationship moves on. They feel that they no longer need that coz they feel that since they have become together for quite sometimes, everything is going to be fine and there is really no need to be calling that often.
Would you believe that my husband wouldn't even call me even if he is not home for 2 days unless I am the one who'll call first? It is kinda irritating, but I got used to it.
@kingjay071 (96)
• United States
24 Nov 12
Ladies, as a man of keeping peace and happiness, I would settle for something like that. Especial if your mate it out for 2 days and doesn't call. That is horrible. That's like me not contacting my woman and I am far way in area that isn't home. Knowing my woman would be nervous I don't want that to happen. I like it when she is at ease and I keep it that way when I'm away or at home. Even if I get mad at her and I walk out, I still call before the day is out to let her know I am fine. It's all about caring for the person you love. It has nothing to do with calling too much and a bunch of things that fall in that category. Guys who think like got things backwards. They need to get their mind right and set on the important things because I would call that being petty to think that.
@hlfbldmom (743)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Yeah, maybe that's what her boyfriend thinks now that they don't need to call each other everyday.
My boyfriend didn't call me anymore even he is in Australia and I am back home. We just chat on skype sometimes not just like before but It's fine for me.
@sanjay91422 (2725)
• India
23 Nov 12
I think the girl is trying to stick with the guy all the time and including me some guys hate this thing. I see that girls have the habit to call even if there is nothing to talk about.
She says "hello" and the next thing she will ask is "why are you not talking to me?" as if I have called her to talk about something. Next thing I say is "I am listening, tell me what you want to talk about?" but they don't understand this simple sentence, next thing they ask is "why are you talking to me like this?".
The conversation on the phone is not interesting for me also. I like the phone to tell her when and where to meet, that is all.
@passion4fassion (996)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
hey i think that's what the girl want stick with the guy i agree with you sanjay91422 their are man that dont want their girl asking too much time even for example the guy is doing something the girl will txt why your not txting me of calling me the guy will get easily get annoy specially if he already told to the girl that he will be doing something
@sanjay91422 (2725)
• India
28 Nov 12
Yes I was telling the same thing. After some time it becomes a normal thing for both because boy understand that girl do all this to get the attention so he will act accordingly.
@kingjay071 (96)
• United States
24 Nov 12
No it's not a guy thing. it's a childish thing. Your friend isn't too needed,, she is use to what her boy friend put out when they first started dating and then he stopped after winning her over. A man who have a good heart and wants to keep his woman happy he would do so. I can understand the I have to work in the morning deal but at the same time what was he doing in the middle of the day where he couldn't call. What he probably don't understand is that woman want to talk. It makes them feel good and they just don't talk to anyone. They talk to the person they feel close to and the man one would be their mate. I don't know what he is doing but I know that if he want to keep he's woman happy he would make it happen unless he is losing interest but I hope that's not the case.
@naryshkashian (139)
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
well it's a guy thing that they will always do special efforts to get you and when they already have you then they won't be having that much eagerness to continue to do it because they already have you... that is why we really have to be careful in choosing the guy we will be together with :)
@stealthy (8181)
• United States
23 Nov 12
As a guy, I'm not sure it is a guy thing. I was never in a relationship where I called every night so it is hard for me to relate. Having been married and divorced, I do know that things can and often do change after being together for a while; actually in my marriage case they changed almost immediately upon getting married but that is another story. It is hard to judge just what is going on in the case you describe. My first guess would be that he has lost some interest or has found someone else that he is interested in but if the latter were the case, I would expect him to no longer be calling every night. I know she may be afraid of rattling the boat but she probably should try to talk to him about how she feels about his not talking as much.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
24 Nov 12
I remember those days! My now husband and I use to be the same way. We would stay up for hours on the phone. We countless times would fall asleep on the phone together. Thanks goodness we had good phone companies. Those were the days. She really should talk with her boyfriend and let him know how she feels. I'm sure though that she may be expecting too much. If she is disappointed about these types of things she will be disappointed a lot later on.
At the beginning of relationships we are so head over heals in love and want to spend all of our time with them. But then routine and the everyday activities of life start to affect all of that. It is a normal part of a relationship to start to take care of all the other things we have too.
@jeztrose (1405)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
I think it is not a guy thing.Since at the past they usually call each other hence it is not a problem to begin with. Me and my partner also like that at the beginning, we always talk through phone and sends messages, But we stop that since we now communicate through Fb, or in yahoomail, we video chat always and whenever one of us is busy we tell the other that we are busy.I guess there is something with the boy on why he suddenly changes.
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
23 Nov 12
It's really hard to tell for certain. Maybe he's really not the talker type or someone who doesn't really like talking over the phone but when they were in the earlier stage of their relationship, he did this to get to know her better or something. Or maybe he really is just plain tired and busy lately. There are lots of possibilities. It is also possible that your friend might be getting paranoid over this.
I think the best thing that they can do is to at least set their "we" time despite their busy sked. Like, at least once a week they will have a date or a simple meet up somewhere just to catch up on the going ons of each others' lives. I can understand the guy side,I mean if I were also busy I would appreciate my partner to support me rather than to add to my burdens. I can also sympathize to your friend about the need to be connected to my partner, I mean why else be in a relationship if we were to lose that connection. Both of them may have their own good reasons, and I think it's time that they sort this out.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
23 Nov 12
changed because of a phone? she sure didnt like him much. maybe if they were living together, and he was on the phone all the time to someone else shed understand better.
@cgicale (137)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Well it can mean a lot of things. Well as far as I know, when I guys spends time to call you and talk to you that really means he's into you. It means that he's really interested in you. I would prefer that it would be the guy that will give so much effort in calling you and not the other way around. It can also be that he's just stressed out and doesn't feel like talking. It really depends. If she really wants to know the truth then he can talk to her boyfriend, and voice out her concerns and ask him to tell the truth even if it hurts.
@mrshubert13 (200)
• United States
23 Nov 12
The majority of the time women are right when it comes to their men.i was told if your man start to change his routine then something is wrong.if I was her ill just sit back and pep the scenerie out or they dont live togdther or something?
@gunsing (142)
• Indonesia
24 Nov 12
beware of 3rd person; ha.ha.....
I'm guy and it's always a good time to talk to the girl I love;
but whenever there is another "love", it will be too much waste of time to talk to a far away girl, don't you think so? LOL I've never been on that kind of situation :)
