Is my friend selfish or am I sensitive?

The audacity! I cannot believe that your friend would not even get you a cup of coffee! That is the rudest thing I have ever heard in my life. She is so selfish! she can't get off her lazy butt to at least bring you the sugar and cream to you and let you add it yourself! Wow...

Sometimes it's better to overlook such things and stop overthink them. Maybe she was in a bad mood and forgot and she hasn't found a better escuse at the moment. If you are so good firends you should share that with her and ask what happened :) Good luck

Hmmm. One the one hand--I would think that an old friend would be observant enough to know both how you like your coffee, and to notice you are not well today. Part of friendship, after all, is seeing your friend, and knowing them thereby--not just looking at them. Is your friend a normally unobservant person? And even if they didn't know exactly how you like your coffee, there's no reason why they couldn't bring the milk and sugar to the table, and then you could flavor your own. When I came out of the coma a couple of years ago, and didn't know ANYONE in my life, I used to do that all the time, the first time I ran into someone "new"-- just make sure all the various condiments were always present on the table, for instance, and let them help themselves. I would also invite people to "help themselves" from buffet style meals or raid the kitchen for drinks and snacks, and see what they chose to eat and drink that way. On the other hand, you may have a friend who sees your coffee time as an escape, or a release, or a vacation-- and lives those times in the moment, not worrying about the small details, instead enjoying the big picture, so to speak. I don't consider you overly sensitive, here-- I too would be surprised if an old friend didn't know something that basic about me, especially if it was something we did all the time together. My boys know those little things about me, and they aren't the most observant people by far-- my other half knows those things as well, though he never remembers my birth-date-- then again, he never remembers HIS birthday, or those of his kids, or my kids.. he sees the actual day as unimportant, and gives presents when he finds something that suits a person, not because of a day.

Yes I think you are being to sensitive...Because if you wanted her to bring you your coffee, why not just asked her to bring you a cup of coffee and even tell her how you liked it...Theres nothing wrong with that.. If you ask her and tell you what you want, then you should have not have to worry about that again...I think its just a little miscommunication.. Be blessed and move on...seriously should this really be something that you should have/keep in your mind which could really be added to another small issue and be blown out of proportion....

dont ruin the friendship for some freaking cup of coffee. does she know that you are having neck problem? You should apologize for that. Looks like you complained for not having your coffee prepared this day.

That's horrible! She surely can't think very much of you otherwise she would've done it for you. Did you part on good terms or was she well aware of the fact that you are annoyed? I hope the pain goes away soon!

Hi Hoeasmate, I have to say that I have a friend that has been my friend for 40 some odd years and while I know what she takes in her coffee, I really have never made it for her so I don't know the quantities. She could take 3 sugars and my idea of 3 spoons of sugar could differ from hers. I don't take any sugar and I don't like fixing other people's coffee. If I knew my friend was in pain and unable to get up easily, I would have brought her the coffee and the stuff to add into her own. Was she aware of just how much pain you were in? Did you ask her to get your coffee and did she refuse or did you just got upset when she did not? Could it be that you usually do get your own and she just wasn't thinking? I honestly think that you are in pain and maybe possibly thinking too deeply into this. It's a cup of coffee and probably an innocent little oversight on her part. I think you should let it go. A 20 yr old friendship is too valuable to bother dwelling on something like this.

Some people just don't pay attention. You'd think she would know how you take your coffee but since she hasn't prepared it for you routinely, I think you're expecting too much. Maybe she has things on her mind and your preferences are the least of what is foremost right now. Did she know you were in pain? Do you know how she takes her coffee? She's been with you through good and bad and stuck by you. This is a bad day for you but it will pass. If you cut off this friendship over such a trivial matter you'll undoubtedly regret it. We need all the friends we can get. If you can get some ginger capsules, take some and they will help that crick. They also help joint pain like arthritis, upset stomachs and indigestion. They are cheap, too. And have a talk with your friend when you calm down and tell her how it hurt to know that after all this time she didn't know how you take your coffee and it was the last straw at the time. Let her know you need some consideration sometimes.

I personally think that you may have overreacted. Some people are picky about how they like their coffee. Some people will not drink a cup of coffee if it is not made right. My husband and I have been married for some time and he likes his coffee to be just so. Often times when I make him a cup it is never right he often complains that the creamer doesn't look right . I often think give me a break it is a cup of coffee. Even when I do it exactly as he tells me. Two teaspoon of sugar and enough creamer too cover the sugar and then I'm suppose to stir as I fill it up with Coffee.

I understand, but it's just too minor anomaly. Maybe she's not on her mood. :)

I think maybe the pain in your neck is making you a little too sensitive right now. While I understand it I would not suggest ruining your friendship over it. I would not want to go into someone else's kitchen and make their coffee and possibly mess it up! I would feel really bad if I did that... So honestly, I probably would not have done it either, just to make sure I didn't make anyone mad at me...

Hi friend, some times silly things seems to be a great one if we are in depressed state, i think your friend casually told about it and you take it seriously, i don't think your friend is a selfish person, as you mentioned she is with you all the time both in your good and bad time, so don't take this as a serious one

The very fact that you are thinking in these lines makes me feel that somewhere down the line its the tender attention you are seeking for. Don't doubt the friendship as if you have stayed together for 20 long years, these things should not matter. Communication is the key to any relationship and that's what I would suggest. Openness to talking and solving the issue is more important for the survival of this relationship. Have a frank talk about how you felt and make sure while you take up the issue do not under any circumstances make your friend feel low. All the best!

I think the answer for your question is to talk with her about your feelings. After such a long time with her you should be able to talk with her. She sure didn't forget how you want your coffee! Maybe she just didn't think about it cause you always make your coffee by yourself. I guess you can clear that when you talk to her

I don't think your friend is being selfish. What she had said may be true even if you have spent the last 20 years sipping coffee together. I know you wouldn't complain, but look at it this way. What if she did prepare you a cup, of course you didn't complain, she put too little creamer and sugar. Our natural reaction to this is to add sugar and creamer, and do you think your friend will feel okay with that. Because like you, she would feel that after twenty years, she cannot make you your perfect cup of coffee. So don't think much of it.

Hi hoseasmate, yes i think she is not your friend indeed and inneed. If such a simple thing as coffee what about life treathening matters. Dont give in as she is in bad mood or what. Some people we thought that they are friends since they always come and visit us but actual fact they come and visit us just to know if we are better than them and they twist their words and make it sounds like they are concern. Forget about them and here at Mylot you have more friends.

Hi , It happens sometimes , we may not understand the best of our friends. May be she is in some disturbance or something. Just let it go.

am very sensitive person...if my fren fights with me then i used to cry simply n again move frenship with her:)

Probably, because of the pain from the crick in your neck. Sometimes when something hurts in our body one becomes irritable. She is your friend for twenty years and you have to consider that. God Bless

may be you are just over reacting it could be that day she was not her self you should give her sometime. talk to her she could be having a problem. but if she is okey and sticks on being mean to you then just know that your friendship is on the line.