Breaking up, Getting back together...
By 911Ricki
@911Ricki (13588)
Canada
November 23, 2012 7:55pm CST
I am not just talking about teenagers here, even grown adults. Now everytime I have been in past relationships, we didnt argue, break up, get back together, and repeatedly do this all the time.
Once it crossed there minds, or they even said something rude, or hurtful gone. I wont take them back, awhile later they do it again, and repeat. I mean not little childish fights either.
I see this on Facebook all the time and I wonder why the f do you stay and then whine about it. This guy who I have been friends with for years, was dating his ex girlfriend (supposeable) for a few years, they have a child together, but he wont move out nor will she, but they fight constantly, belittle each other all over Facebook, yet get back together, then split up. Clearly if your unhappy move on, and I;m sure itès healthier for the child.
Also, a few ladies I worked with were like this their kids got older they werent happy. But stayed for what? If your so miserable with your husband move on, it will only get worse.
My cousin is on Facebook right now, her boyfriend disrespected her (how I dont know), she went to her Mothers house with the kid, she said it was over, now they are back together, all I miss you. My sister goes to me how long will that stay and I sort of chuckled.
I can see once or twice taking them back but not repeatedly, they will just continue to do what they are dong or worse.
4 people like this
25 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
24 Nov 12
I do believe in second or third chances, but if after that, it's just not working.. then it's time to move on. That's what I believe in. I've never actually really experienced it. I've had friends who have, they break up, get back together. I do believe in some time apart, it's healthy for a relationship, but after so long... it's like why even try again.
1 person likes this
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
24 Nov 12
I completely agree, but seriously after months of it I get sick of seeing and hearing about it. Somethings simple arnt forgivable and they think it will work, I guess we all move on at different levels, and paces. This one guy friend they are all over the place, and I think why are you still trying when all you do is fight.
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
24 Nov 12
I don't know, I think some people stay together because they don't want to be single again... Some just don't want to hurt the other by leaving.. Like an attachment / shock thing I don't know. I know from my own experiences, I see now that back then I.. We should have took some time apart.. However, the past is the past. Some people don't want to see what's wrong, or just think one day they will wake up and everything will be fine, without communication, without a break, or without just saying "let's just split."
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
24 Nov 12
We all have regrets, but you moved on, and can admit what was wrong in a hole. I know many who still hanging onto nothing. But they complain about it all the time, or are trying to get you to break them up. But everything happens for a reason so you learnt something and that wasnt meant to be.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
24 Nov 12
I feel sorry for the kids in such a terrible relationship.
1 person likes this
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
24 Nov 12
Ricki your sister is so young why is she so worried about being alone , I think a lot of woman have that fear . I hope they work things out are just separate because thats not good even for people being around them .
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
24 Nov 12
I hope she realizes this, being so young she could be clouded over. I know mys isters boyfriend is like this, but doesnt make it noticeable. She is now 24 and they started dating at 14. My parents just love him, yet my sister cant make her own decisions, its his way or nothing then I think she is afraid she will be alone, and does what he says.
1 person likes this
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
24 Nov 12
I hate when people stay in bad relationship and just continue to nag you for advice every time . I agree with you if you are unhappy move on its better for everyone , I cant stand being around couple that I know dont love each other and may get in a fight in front of you too.
1 person likes this
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
24 Nov 12
Yea, that is what was going on with my friend too for awhile. I'm pretty sure they might even be back together but they broke up at least three times. She is younger than him...and possessive. I couldn't see how they would be right for each other.
1 person likes this
@tinetine161992 (431)
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
Love is swetter in second time around. True love will always find a way back. Like the song of Drew Barrymore "Way Back Into Love". And I belive also that everyone deserves a second chance.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Sometimes we do ask this question when we are not in their situation. I been on that situation before with my ex after 15 years staying together then I realize I wasted too much of my time with him nothing happened to my life. I accepted the fact thattime I can't live without him until one day I have to decide and go on with my life alone. I didn't know that I can do it maybe that was love or relationship is all about. Right Time only can tell how we can get out of that situation.
1 person likes this
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
25 Nov 12
Arguing is one thing. Actually breaking up and getting back together repeatedly is another. The former is a normal part of being in a relationship. The latter demonstrates a level of immaturity that says that maybe one really is not ready to be in a relationship.
1 person likes this
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
24 Nov 12
people like to play that game though. Somehow, they just can't leave that person, while they repeatedly fight with each other. What is the point, they just love to play that game. That is how people are nowadays. Hopefully, your cousin will see the light of it, and she can move on for the sake of her children.
@babyanna (1216)
• China
24 Nov 12
I think the reason why people do that is because we sometimes feel insecure. It's not just a relationship, it's a kind of lifestyle. When you're with someone for a while, you get used to all the good and bad parts of him/her. And when the bad parts become intolerable, we want to let go. But then when we think about the good parts, we begin to miss. It is much harder to let go of a lifestyle than of a person.
These being said, I'm not defending this kind of relationships. I see some women going back to their husbands after being beaten up by them. Now that is just stupid. No relationship should cause us our dignity. Three time is the charm. People sometimes deserve second chances. But if the two just don't get along, let the relationship end in good terms when possible.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
25 Nov 12
Seems things like that happen all the time.. hope it works out for the best.
1 person likes this
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
24 Nov 12
It is just like that, the body and mind really don't blend and agreed. Once the body and mind agreed, then everything will all be on the other side. You know the mind said, i don't like this relationship anymore, pack things and leave. but the body said.. No i need physical thing. no one can give me such except this person. again pack things.. and hello i miss you once again. If the mind and body will meet and agree then there will just be one decision to make. Either stay or leave
1 person likes this
@TMac94 (16)
• United States
24 Nov 12
People stay because they love that person. But if they're constantly hurting that person over and over, they should move on. You know that if they don't change the first time, they won't change at all. Move on. I hope that adults can act like adults than adults acting like children. You need to grow up and see that there's better options out there. If they're no good enough, someone better is out there.
1 person likes this
@klc311 (6)
•
24 Nov 12
Couldn't agree more with your post 911Ricki. I have seen this happen many times to people I know. The constant argument and breaking/ making up only leads to tension and heartache. It's almost as though they don't want to break with the life they know and are scared of change. What's more it's always worse when kids are involved - they should be first priority. These kids willl grow up doing exactly the same as parents.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
26 Nov 12
I've never been in a relationship like the kind that you've described here and I don't believe that I would ever be able to be in that kind of relationship. I mean I know that there have been times that my husband and I have had fights and that I've threatened to leave, but we are able to work things out amongst each other pretty quickly.
Now my best friend has been in an on-again, off-again relationship with her boyfriend for well over a year. I honestly don't know how she does it because the first time that my boyfriend told me to leave and never come back, that would be exactly what I would do.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Their reasons would be somehow different from one another. But I guess, the main reason would be if they will be accepted by another person most especially if there is already a child from a previous relationship.
When we are seeing these stories, we are seeing the picture from outside that circle. That circle I am talking about is the boundary between what you see and what is truly happening.
I have been in a very messed up relationship a few years back. And for those people who knew about it would give me their advice and suggestions. Most of them told me to move one and start anew. So I told myself, they see a picture of what is happening "outside" my circle but they really do not know what it is to be in that circle. Sometimes, you just can not say, "it's over" for a million reasons. But of course, that would depend on each person. So I chose to stay. Why? Because I love my kids and I owe them a whole family. I might be sacrificing my happiness, but it is for my kids. I am not a battered wife, coz some people reading this might think that I was. Let's just say, there were indifferences in the past that lead my relationship to stumble. But I tried and still am trying to make the broken pieces of me to be whole again for my love for my kids.
1 person likes this
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
18 Dec 12
Hi friend, it is really hard to live with a person who is not comfortable with us, there is nothing wrong in renewing our relationship after break up, some times misunderstandings cause break up and we can renew our relationship after understanding about our partner fully, but repeating this activity is not a good thing, life is not a child play to do the same thing again and again.
@ungu89 (1999)
• Malaysia
25 Nov 12
i have a friend too, that really like this, when she had really hard time with her boyfriend, she just break up then come to me, nag all the bad of her boyfriend.
she even unfriend in facebook, pack all the think that her boyfriend give,
but, what make me angry, after a few week she already get back with him.
but she did not tell me about it, sometime i just caught her calling, one time i saw she put back her boyfriend picture on her desk.
they already make the cycle 3-4 times already. i just dont know when she will move on.
@naryshkashian (139)
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
second chances are not bad for as long as you would totally forget about the past and really decide to start a new, i mean a real brand new relationship because otherwise,if you won't forgive and forget the forget the past you will never learn and it will just be another chance wasted :/
@valerievy (162)
• Guam
24 Nov 12
I would agree to disagree and stay to work things out. If you believe that there is still hope for you as a couple, you shouldn't break up right away but try to work things out. If things really just aren't working out, then you should break up... but don't get back together. I agree with you in that if it didn't work out the first time and you broke up, it's better to move on and not look back. It's just going to be an endless cycle of breaking up, making up, breaking up, and so on.
1 person likes this
