Conciliating taste buds and friendship.
By marguicha
@marguicha (223109)
Chile
November 24, 2012 12:57pm CST
The older I get, the more differences I see on the eating habits of my acquaintances, family and friends. Some will not (or cannot) eat sugar. Others will not eat salt, meat, fat, you name it. And while some of these people will accept that we can all be eating different things in the same table, others cannot help but starting to give lectures on how things should be done. As I grow older and turn more and more into an ol` witch, I am more pissed off when that happens. My mom has diabetes and her kidneys don`t work so that she is in dyalisis now. Since then, she has set her goal in telling me waht to eat and what not to eat. I have decided to answer with a :"yes Mom" as I don`t want an endless fight. I can say that to my mother, but I will not accept it from a friend. Do you have such people around you? How do you react and what do you do? I have to shed some pounds ,but I will not accept lectures on my weight, unless I ask for them.
4 people like this
11 responses
@chrystalia (1208)
• Tucson, Arizona
25 Nov 12
I really dislike people who lecture me on my eating habits, for any reason-- it's rude. to say something once is one thing, but I have had people who won't let a meal go by without a lecture-- so I stopped eating with them--and when they asked why, I told them. In my case it was vegetarians-- and I only eat meat 2 days a week, anyway. The last thing I want for dinner conversation is gory accounts of animal torture.
I would tell them once, politely, that your doctor is aware of your eating habits, and he advises you. If they don't shut up-- then don't eat with them for a while, whether they are friends or family. I understand you would want to respect your mom, but that doesn't mean you have to just take it from her either. You are an adult, and you can eat as you see fit.
1 person likes this
@chrystalia (1208)
• Tucson, Arizona
25 Nov 12
I feel the same way-- I have noticed that many of the people I know that are all starry eyed about food have never lived with their food. When you live with your food, you tend to see it more from both sides-- the wonder and beauty are there, but so is dinner.
@chrystalia (1208)
• Tucson, Arizona
25 Nov 12
I think you put it right when you compared it to a religion. When you are the hostess, you make sure, as do I, that your guests get the foods they like. For a guest not to allow you to enjoy what YOU like is, sorry to say, rude. I talk to my plants too, and I feel all herbs are "girls"--my tomatoes are "boys", as are my potatoes. Squash--depends on the squash. I am more a chicken fan than steak, myself.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
25 Nov 12
I feel that eating food that keeps us alive has nothing to do with our marveling at the wonder of their being. I can love my plants, watch the beauty of fish and a hen with her chicks yet eat a good meal with fish and veggies on the side.
@STOUTjodee (3573)
• United States
24 Nov 12
Oh, I agree with you! I know some people are very concerned with our health and it's nice that they care,BUT don't tell me what I should do or not do. You can tell me you're concerned and yes, some times there are health issues that run in the family, but it's my body for me to do as I wish with it! Maybe I'm getting older and don't care what people think anymore!
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
24 Nov 12
I once told a friend that I was too old now to go around the world with a mask on. If people like me how I am, good! If they don`t like me, there`s a lot of space in the world yet so that we don`t have to stumble with each other
1 person likes this
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
25 Nov 12
marguicha
Now that's a good point. I liked the way you said it. Even my friends point out these things ,i like to be simple and i am comfortable like that, its not the question of young or old. we have some comfortable things in which we like to be.poor people dont understand this.
1 person likes this
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
24 Nov 12
Maybe, people just don't want to watch you killing yourself with what you eat. If your diet is really wretched, that is understandable. However, they should bring it up at a time when you aren't all gathered around the table.
If, however, you eat a fairly reasonable diet and people are still pushing for you to change your ways, they really need to ease up. There are some people who will freak if they see you have a slice of cheesecake for dessert--ignoring the fact that you just had whole grains and three servings of veggies for dinner.
I do follow a healthy diet. I encourage others to do the same. I'm not going to do too much nagging about it, though. I'm too busy enjoying my fresh, local healthy food. 
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
25 Nov 12
I eat a fairly reasonable diet because I know about nutrition and because I love to cook. I have learned to make my dishes beautiful and that means not putting too much food on the dishes.
I am not thinking all the time about what is healthy and what isn`t, but my body usually tells me. And as it`s probable that my lymphoma will kill me before my unhealthy eating habits do, I will eat a little more fat that what I should.
1 person likes this
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
25 Nov 12
Tell me about it! my daughters are vegetarians one is full vegan one eat fish, the other don't but have eggs! I have no problem with that but my problem is the vegan won't come to lunch if there is any animal derived food on the table! so now is really hard for us to get together for a meal unless is all vegan so we all have to cater for her! when it comes to my friends we don't seem to have any problems we are all quite open minded and never tell each other what to eat or what not.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
25 Nov 12
My eldest daughter is having those kinds of problems with her children (no so little anymore). I say they should make theit own food. But it is true that they will not sit at a table where a poor animal is being eaten. I wonder sometimes if they think a bit about the poor, suffering, moms and grandmothers
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
I know what you mean. Although we might be hearing exactly the same thing from our mother and friends, we asr more inclined to listening to what our mothers will tell us coz you know that mothers always mean what they say and they want what is best for us. Unlike for some friends, sometimes you would notice a "know it all" attitude or someone who just want to show off what she has achieved.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
25 Nov 12
I think that in my case I accept what my mom says out of respect and because she is an old lady. But I don`t think that she knows what is best for me just because she is my mother.
1 person likes this
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
25 Nov 12
I agree. Some just go on lecturing without even being asked for.This really irritates as we know what should we eat and what not. If its from our parents we can understand that.But some friends really cause headaches. If we say no they think we are head strong. This happened to me.Now One of my friend said eating cabbage is good i should eat it more and more. I said its good but as it tends to cause gas i cant eat that more.Now she has a problem with that. 
so what i do is i try to avoid such topics as far as i can . Now i know more about my body not they.
so what i do is i try to avoid such topics as far as i can . Now i know more about my body not they.1 person likes this
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
25 Nov 12
I don`t like lectures from my mom either. But she is 88 years old so I will not argue. But I will not accept that a friend or another member of the family ruins my meal because I "shouldn`t" have eaten this or that. I ate what the doctor said last year, when I had my chemo. But I will not eat only "healthy" food when I don`t know if I`ll be alive next year. I prefer quality of life.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
27 Nov 12
I'm so sorry for your mom. I can understand her lecturing you. She doesn't want you to follow in her footsteps.But others? They have no right to lecture you! Me? I would say it plainly. I will eat what I like When I like and if they don't like it , then we can either Never eat together Or we can break this friendship . It is up to them! See I have always been in shape , round! No one can make me eat what I don't want to eat, especially my mom. She knew Not to even try.See I scared her when I was a baby. I wouldn't eat. she took me to the doctor but I was fine.Ever since then my mom, G-d bless her, would make what I like . In time , my own time, I have tried new things and I have liked some and didn't like others.I thank G-d I had a mom who understood! That is why I am willing to end a friendship over my food choices.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
28 Nov 12
I am not a mother but I do understand. You love so you worry. You try to keep them safe and healthy so you lecture. Me? I just say one simple statement and hope they hear me.
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
28 Nov 12
Most of the discussions I had with my daughters when they were teens had to do with my worry for their safety. Now they understand.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
28 Nov 12
I understand that being a mother is a hard role and I accept that. I tend to lecture my grown up daughters and just last week we talked about that with my youngest daughter. She told me that she had promised she`d never have that relation with her own daughter, but that she had found oout she was doing the same thing with my granddaughter
. I told her not to worry: it`s part of being a mother
.
. I told her not to worry: it`s part of being a mother.1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
25 Nov 12
I have never cared for anyone trying to "live my life" and tell me what to do. I might respond with ok or something just to shut them up, but I seldom follow their advice. I know when my doctor warned me to change my eating habits I didn't listen to her and the next visit she put me on medication to control the type 2 diabetes she said I had developed. I guess now I am starting to worry about it again because I have started living on sugar again. I really need to start eating better, but I don't want someone lecturing me about it. Thanks for bringing this up.
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
25 Nov 12
I agree! Better to enjoy life to the fullest than to live long and be miserable!
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
25 Nov 12
Dearest Deb, The thing is there are ways to say things. And there are things that we know and people know that we do. So that if I choose to eat what I shouldn`t, it`s not, at this time of my life, because I`m ignorant. So no lecture is needed. I`m just exercising my freedom. Although I know that there are some things I must watch as food goes, I will not eat only yucky bland foods so that I live until I`m 100 years old. I know I won`t live that long, so I`d better choose yummy food
. Although I know that there are some things I must watch as food goes, I will not eat only yucky bland foods so that I live until I`m 100 years old. I know I won`t live that long, so I`d better choose yummy food 1 person likes this
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
25 Nov 12
I think that there are lots of rude questions. Lately I have discovered that I`m not so happy when someone asks me my age either. I didn`t mind some years ago. I agree with you about herbs. I`m also using some fruits in baking instead of using too much salt. Apples and dry prunes are a good idea.
1 person likes this
@bryanwmc (1051)
• Malaysia
24 Nov 12
As i get older ,,yup it sucks but its life, and sugar , i have a sweet tooth but the things is that i notice if i abstain from sugar for a day or two ,my kidneys are not sore,but if i stick to my daily prefered dose of more than two tablespoons in a day , my kidneys ache ,i am not diabetic or anything but i do think that sugar seems to be like a thickening agent of sorts which maybe an explanation as to why i feel the effect of it. thicker blood harder to process, maybe , just guessing,my amateurish diagnosis. have loved sweet things my whole life but looks like i might have to go easy on sweetness and not overdo it if just to avoid the aching feeling i get when i have had too much. at first i wasn't too sure but after few months of trial ,i am now quite sure of it . although i cannot really explain for sure why ,i just know it is what happens everytime i take less ,i don't feel sore ..hate to admit it ,but age is catching up fast.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
25 Nov 12
I find it extremelly annoying how life wrinkles our skin and places pains in all our poor joints. I am so soory that you have to give up some of the things you like. It`s not fair. By the way, maybe you should check online about kidneys and sweets. You seem the kind of person who will discover a lot of interesting things by paying attention to what your body is telling you
. I am so soory that you have to give up some of the things you like. It`s not fair. By the way, maybe you should check online about kidneys and sweets. You seem the kind of person who will discover a lot of interesting things by paying attention to what your body is telling you1 person likes this
@Pegasus72 (1898)
•
25 Nov 12
I think there will always be people like this. I think they are just trying to tell you what to eat so you don't end up having problems like them, but then again some people can eat anything they would like and they are healthy as a fiddle, what ever that means.
@marguicha (223109)
• Chile
25 Nov 12
Some people love to tell others how they should live, up to the smallest thing.
