Picking names from a hat

If they can't or wont be understanding of the fact you can't afford gifts at the price they picked or can't use their gifts then i say just don't get them anything and let them know why. My hubby and i can't afford any gifts this year either, but if we tell the our family they will understand. Tho hubby is gonna try and get them something without telling them we cant afford it because he doesn't like to tell people not even family about our money problems.

I think it would just be better to not participate in drawing names for Christmas. It means you won't be giving or getting a gift. Let them just draw among themselves. Let them whine.

Well, using your rewards and buying a gasoline gift card sounds like a really practical way to deal with this whole situation. Not much joy in the celebration it sounds like.

Hi, It seems your siblings and you are very different from each other. But what ever plan they make it should be affordable and pleasing to everyone who participate there, but it seems that they only think about themselves . In that case you give what ever you like ,if you like to give anything at all. You can better understand them.

Simply put, not wanting to spend $45 or $50 on gifts, and especially when you don't have the money does not mean that you are cheap. It clearly indicates that your priorities are somewhere else. Gifts are nice to give when you can give them, but going into debt because someone else thinks your cheap is not worth it. They say Jesus is the reason for the season, but I like to say the holidays were meant for family togetherness. This year I just really want my family to be together. WE create the memories by spending time together. Play games, make ornaments, have some coffee, take pictures, create some crafts with the kids, build a snowman, laugh, giggle, have a good time. One day you might be able to afford a bigger gift, but the best holidays are the ones you create with memories.

And you are stuck in the middle of all that. I hope you pull my name. Ha ha ha

At least it won't cost you money out of pocket for the gift. I think it is dumb to have people in a gift exchange if you are not going to actually exchange a gift.

That's a ridiculous amount of price they are wanting you to spend on them. If we were to draw from a hat like some families do we spend no more then 25 dollars on a gift for people. Your family is ungrateful sorry to say that but the way they were acting about that, really ? If I have the money then yes I will spend more the 25 bucks on a gift, like I can this year because I planned my shopping out better than I normally do. That would suck if you don't get a gift they should at least give you something you like, why don't they ask you to write down things you like so they know what to get you? My family always ask each of us to write down what we like, want or need and then they go according to the list or get something else they know we like. I think it's fair to do it that way. I hope things turn out better then what your thinking it will turn out now, good luck.

Spending money on junk no one needs is a waste of money. Even more so when you are poor and don't have the money to blow. I hate having to buy gifts when I'm broke. I remember one year we had a $5 limit for friends. We were all broke and $5 times 3 meant we would go a few days without food. Well we found cool cheep things. One girl gave us all mirrors for our visors. It was a great gift as we need to check our makeup and don't want to move the rear view mirror.

I learned a long time ago to buy presents for people things they need and want! My mom was notorius for buying the wrong present for some people,like my dad! I saw my dad get angry to many times over the years and Christmas was ruined over the years thanks to that! So I learned form a friend this. So over the years if I bought presents for my family and friends from a list I could follow. If I could not find what they wanted I would give the person a gift certificate form a store they like to shop at. In my family I have 4 nephews,2 neices,3 great nephews and one great niece. With the youngest niece,the great nephews and niece I give them like #5.00 a piece to be put in their college funds. With the adults we don't exchange gifts and that is fine. At work we draw names and will be tommorrow. We will have are party in the middle of December. Whoever does put in a list of things they would like and we usually have a spending limit of #20.00. I can't afford to buy alot of stuff as it is! I have to many bills to deal with,gas to buy for my car,buying food and buying my monthly supplies for myself. It doesn't leave much money for anything else!

WE played this game at work some years ago. My cousin does it too for Christmas with her family. But in neither case we set stakes so high. They are usually much cheaper gifts that have more the idea of love than a money gift. I usually buy a book, a plant or a small gadget. Lotions are nice for some people if you know their tastes. But I would not spend a lot of money on a french perfume.

You see, I actually think that exchanging names is a great idea in a situation where there is a large family. All of the adults in the family can exchange gifts and then everyone can buy something for the children. This is what my father's family always did when we were growing up because he was one of ten children so with spouses there was always at least 15-16 adults. This was something that saved a lot of money. However, I feel that when it comes to smaller families, such as my own family with a total of three children, two spouses and one parent, it is better to get a gift for everyone without having any stipulation on what kind of money to spend. That is the way that we do it and we've never had any conflict at Christmas.

That seems like a high amount to spend in that situation. In the past, my family did what we call a Chinese Exchange, where everyone buys a gift for under $25, keeping it a secret...then we played a game for the exchange, following instructions like...'exchange with someone wearing red'. It was a lot of fun and you never knew what you would get. Now, however, times are tough, so we now buy a Christmas ornament, under $10, and still play the game. It works out well.

I guess the only thing you can do there is to say that you don't wonne be part of it Just tell them that you don't wonne have a gift so then you don't have to buy a gift that is fair and I think they should respect it.

OMG, surely they can't be serious $45.00 - $50.00 present? I have done this before at work, we call it Secret Santa or a bran tub and usually the maximum is £10 which is about $20 I've never known it any higher. It is unnecessary, surely they should understand that not everyone can afford that much! Personally I would opt out, I wouldn't care if they whined, not very adult behaviour is it, if they don't like it then tough, let them sort it out amongst themselves, I would rather spend the $45 on myself and buy myself something I liked, than get something as you said you would end up giving away anyhow.