Doctor said for me to control the stress in my life.....

@dfollin (25351)
United States
November 25, 2012 3:30pm CST
..... to control my blood pressure.I laughed!We are living in a house with an itty-it owner/roomate and to avoid him,we have to stay in our rooms,have no heat or A/C when it's hot.He half way repair's anything.He doesn't want me to use the dishwasher,washer or dryer and keep all blinds down and curtains closed during the cold weather.He comes in to area's of the house he is not supposed to.Yells and cusses at us while he shakes his fist at us,walked around in the house with shorts totally ripped out in the back in front of me,the other female roomate and my teenage daughter.And then says that that my daughter will have to get over it.He uses the bathroom with the door open!And there is nothing that I can do till I am able to afford to move.The job that I was supposed to start was deleted and I cannot find another one.Therefore I cannot improve my credit,save to move,get my kids or grandkids Christmas presents.We cannot even put up a Christmas tree because the landlord will just yell,cuss and take the Lords name in vain! One of my son's and his wife are getting a divorce and the only way we are going to get to see my granddaughter is if he can find a way to make good money.And I need to find a way to help my other son,granddaughter's,mom,uncle and sister.No one is in good health,living in bad or crowded situations.Matter of fact one person is homeless. And,I am supposed to control my stress.
1 person likes this
10 responses
@GardenGerty (160675)
• United States
25 Nov 12
I wonder if there is any way that you and these other family members together could afford a decent rental without the strange landlord/roommate. What would happen if you all put your resources together? We have been in a financial crisis forever, it seems and I have gone back to writing for Textbroker, which I can do some of the time while I am at work. I am picky about what I write, and I am not rated really high, but I know I can bring in at least an extra $100 per month as long as there are articles to write. Textbroker.com is free to join, but you have to take a writing test to get started.
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
26 Nov 12
Hi Garden Gerty,I have tried to get my mom and uncle to get a place with me,but they won't.They said that they will not let anyone stay with them again because all the stress effects their medical conditions.But,they babysit my granddaughter and then complain about how my oldest son's estranged wife staying there till real late with her and putting my son down in front of his daughter.I don't have a car,but one day I took a bus there to help out,which my mom said said that I did do,but said it was hard on my uncle with having so many people in the house.But,on Thanksgiving they wanted everyone there and when some people could not come they got mad.And as far as my sister goes.....I won't let my daughter go stay over there anymore for a weekend.It is kinda' wild over there,everytime you turn around the police are there,because when her groen niece stays there her and my brother-in-law always get into a fight and other illegal issues.And in that household is always sick! Not just their illnesses,but the flu! Besides,places won't rent to people that have more then 3 sources of income to pay the rent.I have signed up for Textbooker,but I have not done an article for them yet,because they never have anything available for me.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
28 Nov 12
Also,my mom and uncle had some free work done on their mobile home by a church and they had to sign an agreement that they will remain in that house for 2 years.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160675)
• United States
28 Nov 12
I do not know what level Textbroker assigned you, but you should check every day, multiple times a day. For a long while there was nothing for me either, but for the last week or so I have been writing at least one a day. Some short, some long. I have one to do that is 800 plus words that I need to get some sleep so I can do a good job on it.
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
26 Nov 12
I know you live in in a stressful area and some people around you, but don't think about it often. Don't think about stress often. Just continue with your daily routine activities. Most, if not all of us is suffering or is having stress. It is how we handle it that makes us different with each other. Like for me, for example, I feel so much stress with my teenage kids. They are uncontrolable. And since I do not work and have to stay here at home most of the day, I think of so much things all the time. Yeah, we have a small business and it stresses me most when there are no clients. :( Good thing there is myLot that makes my mind busy. Again, let us avoid thinking too much and just do our normal routines. But I wish you well in your health! Always feel better.
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
28 Nov 12
Hi bluespygirl,It is hard not to think about it when I have someone yelling at me and shaking their hand in my face as well as upsetting my daughter.I need to find a job or we are going to have no Christmas and my daughter needs clothes.But,I have to be here during the day when my landlords not here to do laundry and dishes.
• Philippines
29 Nov 12
I wish you luck. Life is hard sometimes. I will pray for you. I myself had been in that situation just a few months ago and am still strugling now
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
26 Nov 12
How frustrating. I think the previous poster's suggestion of maybe getting a place together with some of your relatives might work if you can afford it and make it work. Hopefully you will be able to find work soon.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
28 Nov 12
Hi cutepenguin,Thanks for the suggestion.However none of those people can get a place with me.Please read back to my comments.
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
26 Nov 12
It sure sounds like you have a lot going on! I hope soon things will improve for you! I think that your landlord sounds like he needs to be in his own place, without tenants. Why is he in parts of the house that he has no business using? I think this is horrid! I think if you get the chance to have a minute for yourself, meditation and music might help.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
28 Nov 12
Hi mzz663,I told him he needed to live by himself or with men that do not have a problem with his lifestyle.He wrote a note to me,my daughter and our other roomate that us renting there was his ticket to being able to sell the house.When we confronted him about being upstairs,he said he meant the floor where our bedrooms are.But,he come's up here also after he yells coming up.He said that this was his house,he lives here too!Yes,he is horrid.The only reason we(myself,my daughter and the other lady)moved here was because he said he would stay downstairs.His bedroom is big enough to make a small apartment,it has a seperate entrance door.There is a half bath down there and he said he was going to put a shower in there he said for himself.But,he never has! He also assured us that he would not come up and use the shower in the bathroom/bathrooms upstairs.But,recently he came up repairing our roomates room,after he fell through the ceiling, and was cleaning the paint tools in the hall bathroom.My roomate put a sign outside the door and told him specifically several times that she did not want anyone in her bathroom because she had to move clothes and some other personal items in there as well as in my daughter's room.And when my daughter politely told him that she didn't want anyone in there and he said,"This is my upstairs bathroom and I will come in here if I want." I was sitting 5 feet away and heard the whole thing.Then he denies that he said it and says to my roomate and her boyfriend that every word that my daughter says is BS.....I was furious!I told him I heard it too,he called me a liar! So,now we are afraid that he will come up and use that shower. In September he told me that he went over to the co owner's house when she wasn't home and used a spare key to get in and was taking a shower and she came home early and was mad.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
26 Nov 12
That is against the law to have the landlord do that. I would look into it, I know none of my landlords did this. They would call or knock before entering (only with our permission), they certainly didnt use our bathroom. Is there any place in the same area you can move too? Even get a mobile home for you and your daughter (I know many rent them here). I am saving to get a mobile home in a park, it may be crowded or 1 bedroom but its better off.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
28 Nov 12
Hi Ricki,I checked into it yesterday and when coming to the top level where our bedrooms are he yells that he is coming up and we have to let him come up for maintanance reasons.He did for a while when he had to rebuild(which he only did halfway).Now he comes up says to check for leaks!My mom and uncle live in a trailer park and we lived there with them for awhile.The neighborhood has gone downhill,the police are rhere everyday.The management doesn't see it they expect you to make almost $60 thousand dollars a year and have perfect credit!And the high school there is terrible!
@STOUTjodee (3573)
• United States
26 Nov 12
Guess your doctor doesn't understand your living situation, huh? Yeah, it's hard not to have stress in your life. Will pray for you if that's any consellation?
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
28 Nov 12
Hi STOUTjodee,Oh,I told my doctor my situation and she just shook her head.Yes,thanks for the prayers.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
26 Nov 12
I cannot believe there is nothing you can do. It is horrible about the job. It would have helped a lot. Try not to get put in jail, because I think that I would knock him out when he starts acting like an idiot. It sounds as if he is getting worse.
@livewyre (2450)
26 Nov 12
You have every reason to be stressed, but stress is actually a state of mind. I know someone who is fond of saying 'this is stressful' and 'that is stressful' whereas the truth is nothing per se is 'stressful' - the individual gets stressed by the situation. Now let me repeat that you have every right to feel the stress of your situation, and I sympathise with what you are saying, but in a way the doctor is giving you good advice, because you can actually 'choose' to focus on the stressful situation, or choose to focus elsewhere. My philosophy is to try and see the difference between the things I can change and the things that are out of my hands, and then put my efforts into changing things and let the other stuff just get on with it! I guess I am saying focus on the positives if you can find any - hope this helps, because you sound like you could do with a bit of help...
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
25 Nov 12
I am sorry to hear that the landlord situation has not gotten any better. It is hard to be stress free when so much is going on in your life. I am stressed out all the time under less stress than you are under. I give you props for keeping your sanity around that man. Since your son is getting a divorce and will not be living with his wife anymore would there be any way that you and your daughter could share a place with him? It would help you both out financially.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
26 Nov 12
Hi lilybug,Thanks,I am sorry you are under stress also.As far as my son goes,that won't work either for a few reason's.He does not have a job.One of the reason's why they split up is because his wife was always saying how he wouldn't keep a job.He did get a job that was good,but she complained because he had to work some weekends and told him that he had to quit.Also,if they work things out he'll be moving back in with her.And my credit is bad and he doesn't have any.Lastly,we do not get along.About 2 years ago we were gonna' get a house together where I was going to have the basement and them the upper floor and we'd share the kitchen and laundry.Because I made more money I would pay more rent.Then when we looked at it the basement only had 1 room that could be used as a small bedroom and had no closet,his wife said that would be my room.The rec room space down there would be their TV room and the area that we could use for storage would be his "man cave".The living room upstairs would be her space.The smallest of the three bedrooms upstairs would be my teenage daughters,the bigger bedroom would be their baby's and the master bedroom and bath would be theirs.The hall bath we could take showers in but our stuff would have to stay in our rooms.I asked where I was supposed to put all my stuff and they said in my (small) bedroom!About 5 years ago I rented a larger place so my younger son,his girlfriend and their baby could live their too and she did not get a job(didn't try)but I babysat.Then she told me to use that pay for utilities.And they only paid 5 months rent and utilities! And I was on social security and could of got a smaller place for me and my daughter.
@tedifa (1232)
• Indonesia
27 Nov 12
You're not the only one,everyone must control their stress in this life.Stress can't reduce with doing your hobbies,listening music,relax and always positive thinking.