Giving Up.. Forever!

Really strange that you don't know your future spouse. Why should have been your parents to choose her? Weren't you able to do it by yourself? It is nasty when you have to be tied to someone you never saw or knew. Maybe with time going on, you'll like and love her. Or you'll have to...

I pity the one you are going to marry. I also pity you because you are not strong enough to stand for your own opinion. I don't feel pity for your mother. She should do what is best for you, what makes you happy. She is selfish and I don't like women who manipulate others (including husbands and children) and forcing them to get what they (the parent) want and get sick if they can't get it. You are not doing the right thing. Your mother will die anyway, perhaps not now but later. It's your life, your future and not only you will be unhappy but also your wedding partner will. It's a small excuse to say you could have left earlier but did not because of a lack of money.. (btw not afraid your mother would end up in hospital then also?). If you really wanted it, you could have left or hide (for some days) anyway. The only thing I can wish you is: wisedom.

I hope she ends up being the girl of your dreams...

Good luck my friend and and I pray only for the best for you. I don't really know if it's right or wrong but arranged marriage had long been part of the culture and traditions of Asians that other cultures would find very hard to understand or comprehend. If you ask me , I'm glad that that sort of thing has now almost already disappeared in our country. God bless you too.

That's very sad..so sad to spend your life with someone whom you don't love or even like. I just wish for to be a good person to your future wife even if you don't love her. Maybe someday you will learn to appreciate her. Goodluck!!

Try to meet that girl before your marriage may be you like her. Marriage is a happy day please don't do it in a sad mood I understand your situation its like choosing between your family and your dreams acceptations.. Its such a big decision of life I hope you like your partner make an effort to meet her I hope everything will be fine with you but don't give up on it you are facing such situation its god will and god what i believe is god always do best for us I didn't have mu h experience but if it is happening it will be good for you. Try to make yourself happy and just don't do anything for others do ot for yourself. Your deciSion will be right only if you'll be satisfied with it. All the best for future days.

Hi Mr. Pearl I am sorry that it took me so long to see this discussion. As a mom...I think (my opinion) that your mom is being selfish and not thinking of you , your happiness or your future. I have 4 daughters and as much as I don't always agree with their choices, I feel they are smart and will figure things out on their own. I raised them right and all I want is for them to be happy. Your mom is acting and playing on your emotions. If I wanted one of my grown children to marry someone that they didn't want to and I played it out that I was sick and to the point of going to the hospital...my girls would figure that I was either faking or just got sick on coincidence. You mother is being controlling and it works. Your mom is not going to be around forever. It is YOUR life. If you marry this girl whom you have no desire to then you will be ruining your life and hers as well. IF you bring children into this situation...their lives will be trashed too. You need to stand up to your mom and her little games...that is what they are. You are an adult. Put your foot down. she will probably play=act that she is on deaths door but don't let it get you. She is NOT going to die if you don't marry this girl or if you defy her controlling orders. Odd how she is now fine ..now that you agreed to marry this girl and ruin your life. You are grown now..you can stop your mother from destroying you but only if you are willing to stand up to her.

hi Mrpearl y ou are an adult so stand up and fight for what you want for you. not what your mom or anyone else wants for you.no your mom did not end up in the hospital because of you but because of her meanness towards you. so you give up that guilt trip.You borrow some money and get the hell away from those poisonous people.nobody should be forced to marry someone they do not want to marry. Damn you go get that life you wanted and do it for you and now.

It is very dificult to understand what you are living, are in my country and culture there are no arranged marriages. But I understand that the bride and groom must pass some tests and check their compatibility. And I have also heard that brides many times bring a dowry. We have seen here that you could not go away. What kind of work do you do? Maybe your bride and you can reach an agreement after you get married. The best of luck!

I am so sad for you because you are marrying someone you don't know and you are marrying someone your parents want you to marry. I mean sorry for your mom, but I think you should put your foot down about this. Maybe tell them that you will not marry her now, but that you'd like to get to know her at least. And then later make that decision on whether or not you should marry her. You should not be forced to marry someone if you don't even love them. Come on now, this is your life and a decision you have to make on your own. You shouldn't have to have people make extreme and big decisions like this for you. That's my opinion though for you. Hopefully you make the best decision for you and stick with it. Good luck, with whatever you choose. I hope its the right one and not later on you see that you didn't make the best decision after all and what could of been if you made another decision. I will pray but maybe also you should pray that you make the right decision as well.

I hope this girl who will soon be your spouse, will appreciate what you gave up to be with her. I also hope you will find it in your heart to do right by this girl who has also been chosen to be your bride, maybe against her better judgment as well. I know these types of marriage arrangements still exist today in other cultures and I know the majority of them are successful. I pray you get the life you want and deserve.

Hi mr pearl! I never thought that this is still happening nowadays. I thought things like this are only happening in movies. Well, anyway, you have to decide on your own. What we can do for you now is to pray for you and to wish you the best of luck. Have a nice day!

Hi friend, good to hear about this, so you planned to marry a girl as per your mother's choice. There is nothing wrong in your decision, sad to hear that your mum is in hospital, hope she will get recovered soon. Marriage is one of the important event in our life and you are in the proper age of marriage, wish you to have a great married life

Now that you are already married, Accept that relation and the new person in your life. This is called destiny, even you tried hard but was not able to change. Okay you did all for your mom's sake, but now this girl is part of life, accept, understand and respect her. I read your responses, she is trying level best to keep you happy. Why can't You???

uhh such a sad story Mr.Pearl I hope you can handle your feelings. but can you think if you were the girl I bet she does not like this situation too. I just hope your Mom will get well soon and you can love your bride too

Hi mr_pearl, I don't know if I will wish you luck or be sad about your decision. But anyhow since you have now decided to marry the girl you don't know. Let me just wish that everything will be alright with you and your soon to be wife. You never know she can be the girl that you really would want to be. Don't think that you do not love her, just think that you can love her and be happy starting your own family with her. Glad that your mom is fine now. God bless. And my best wishes on your marriage.

Sorry to hear that Mr pearl. I'm in America so I don't understand arrange marriages. Whats the reasons behind them? I also don't understand why your parents are forcing you to do something you don't want to do? Don't they want you to be happy? I believe a marriage shoud be done only when you are in love with the person. How can you spend the rest of your life with someone you don't even know? Okay enough with the negative I hope it works out for the best. Good luck maybe she will be hot :-).

strange but really happening seems so. ever heard of same story and not heard from you again repeatedly. it seems that you do not have a choice to choose. gosh, i am not sure if really mothers do have the right to manipulate her child's life in terms of love. you are risking your life in that kind of settlement. but since you do not have any choice, i will suggest that know you partner and learn to lover her. maybe this one will work to both parties, you and your fiancée. this is the best thing i can impart you rather living as strangers and whatsoever and living a miserable life. who knows, it is the plan made by God to you using your mother as the implementer of this fate. again, if you really do not have a choice, befriended with your fiancee to smoothed things out. just make a try and do your moves for your happiness. i just hope you do not have a girlfriend of your own whom you really love the most because that would be the toughest part why you cannot give in with the idea of having a settled marriage. good luck and best wishes hoping for your all out happiness ;)

oh...god plz help us....