I am creating my own poverty.
By laydee
@laydee (12798)
Philippines
November 27, 2012 7:15pm CST
There are times when I just hate myself for deciding to buy things too quickly and end up regretting after the purchase is done.
I had no plans of buying anything because I knew that I was already out-of-budget and the money I have should be enough to last me till the next payday. Then suddenly, in my language class one of my classmates offered us some lotions and colognes (Victoria's Secret, Bath and Body Works, etc.) and I was quickly drawn and bought on credit to be paid after a few days. On the way home, I quickly regretted the purchase but thought that the person would be angry if I returned because I had tried on some. The regret became more when I came home to see that I still had a lot of those stuff that I haven't really been using.
Occasions like these is something that occurs to me a lot of times. I know I am short of money, but when something is offered, I quickly grab it. I have no time to stop myself from doing so. It seems I have that same sickness like that of the character in the movie: Confessions of a Shopaholic.
I am sad. But I'd like to change.
Do you feel or experience these things too? How do you stop yourself from making unnecessary expenses? I really would like to stop being addicted to "purchases".
2 people like this
10 responses
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 12
My husband was the same way. Honestly, it took being absolutely broke ALL the time for my husband to change. When I say broke, I mean no food in the house practically, no gas for the vehicle, etc... We were seriously BROKE! Then, he said no more. He decided it was more important to have things we need instead of what he just wanted! So, he is doing SO good with it because he really wanted to change himself. It takes motivation and the want to change. I know you can do it. It just takes self control and the want to change. It can be done! I never thought my husband could do it and he did! Good luck. =) 
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
Oh my! I may be a spendriff but never came to a point that we no longer had food in the house. But if I keep on doing such, I sure would be in that situation as well. Oh I do hope I could do this, it's almost Christmas and I'm living paycheck-to-paycheck and I always worry about money.
Whew! It's time for me to tie down my habits I guess and I am doing quite okay for now. But there are just those instances, specially if I'm able to buy at credit! Whew! Now I'm staying away from all those.
Good that your husband did realize and decided that enough was enough! Else, I would be anxious if I were in your shoes. Good thing that things are better now.
Thanks for sharing, have a great mylot experience ahead!
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
28 Nov 12
I can completely relate to how you feel. I have been that way as well. I'm still working on it. Now I'm trying to work on saving instead of spending. It is very difficult to do because there is always something that we would like to buy. Right now what I'm doing is constantly thinking about how much of my financial stress will be gone if I have a savings.
So I make an effort to put away any extra money I have in an envelope titled savings and do my best not to touch it. You could also buy a gift card from stores that you shop at, that way you have a savings to that and you are not spending. For example I put money on a gas card for a local gas station, and a gift card with money on it for walmart. This works good for me because it's like a savings for gas and we use walmart for all types of things.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
That strategy sounds nice and all but we don't really have that in my area in the country. But I would try to improvise. I like the thought that you put in an envelope for savings. But sadly, whenever I know that I have money, I can't help but remember whenever I want to purchase something.
I guess I need something to keep my mind out of it and make me forget where I put the money. I should make it very inaccessible so that I wouldn't have the time to go there. With the event of the credit card and a debit card and the ATMs popping up everywhere, it's difficult to keep money away.
If only there's a means for that.
Thanks for sharing, have a great mylot experience ahead!
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
30 Nov 12
Yeah I understand what you mean. That is why the gift cards work well for me. Because I can't use the gas card for example to buy me a new purse. What if you opened up a bank account in a different town? That could keep you from going there and taking money out, or you could buy a plastic bank that can not be opened unless you cut it open.
You really have to have a strong desire to save and improve your situation. That is key. Online they have the banks for less than $10. I hope that you will be able to improve your savings and work hard to resist impulse buying. I know I'm continuing to work on it for myself. Because I know that I have to be able to depend on myself.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
I actually do that too. However, I have this thing for "giving myself". I know sometimes it goes out-of-hand. So, I think I just need to be firm with myself and not be too easy with giving away money.
Thank you for sharing. Have a great mylot experience ahead!
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
28 Nov 12
I think you should make a plan for your purchasing,you should make a list and list all the stuff that are your necessary then you can just buy those stuff in your current month,then in the end of this month if you have some saving then you can buy something you really like and take it as a award as your saving.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
Yeah, I think I should do that. I am so lazy with lists and now I know why they are important. Whew! It's really difficult to be disciplined about things, most especially about money! Whew! But I know I should do it.
But yeah, the first step will always be the toughest, but I don't want to be in financial trouble again!
Thanks for sharing and have a great mylot experience ahead!
@Raine38 (12389)
• United States
28 Nov 12
I used to have the same problem. And I would end up regretting and worse, not using the stuff that I bought which I initially thought to be something I must have. But now, I know better. Before I buy something, whether on credit or cash, I will always look into my filofax and see my list of my expenses and the bills that I need to pay and my remaining budget. Ever since I started making a list of my monthly expenses, I began to have a picture of how poorly I am managing my money and how most of these are spent on things that don't really matter. So if I see that I have already lots of expenses on my list, I say no. But if I can see that I still have some money to spare and have some savings to deposit to my bank account, then I can indulge myself but only within my remaining budget. It works for me because I am a visual kind of person who gets encouraged seeing those figures of how much I will be able to save.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
I think that's a good idea. I need to have a list of bills with me all the time so that before I make a purchase, I'd look into them and see that I have obligations. I think I'm going to do that. hehehe..
Thank you for sharing, have a great mylot experience ahead!
@Ladybug1101 (13)
• United States
28 Nov 12
there is a time when most of us have an urge to buy unnecessary things. We just have an urge to buy whatever we want because we can. What I've learned is that sometimes it takes experience and personal suffering to finally get you to ignore that urge. You can probably learn just from reading about other people's experiences and avoid them as best you can.
One month, I was afraid I didn't have enough money to pay for my rent. I was about $200 short. I started a garage sale with my cousin. I took out all my useless junk that I'd accumulated over the years and sold them. Thankfully, I had more than enough to pay my rent. But what I realized was that some of the things i sold only because the customer made a very low take it or leave it offer. Some movies and decorations cost more than $10 and I sold them for only $1 or at least $5. It was horrible to think how much money had been wasted, only to not use that stuff and later sell it for a whole lot less than its value.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
That was sad - the thought of wasting money for something that you bought but sold for a lot cheaper price. But at least it helped. And you're right, experience do make us learn more and I think I should do that. I should take out the garbage and unnecessary things in my life.
Now, I am quite short and I am worried if I would be able to make ends meet this month. All the more sadder because it's the month of Christmas. I guess I wouldn't be able to give my family and friends gifts this year. But if I do, I wouldn't be able to make ends meet till next year. Well, what the heck, I surely need to keep my finances up-to-date.
Thanks for sharing and I do hope that we wouldn't need to be in this situation again. Thanks again and have a great mylot experience ahead!
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
I am glad that somehow, I do have the control on buying me some stuff no matter how much I really want them. So there is your cue--- You need to know which things you want and which things you need. Things that we what want are not necessarily we need. So we should set our priorities on things that we only need and are important.
You should learn to control spending too much and always put away those extra money to better use.
@god_is_good (683)
• Philippines
28 Nov 12
You are not alone about such things as impulsive buying and regretting later. I have had such an experience a lot of times. I admire you for admitting it yourself and the desire to make changes. The moment I had experience the negative consequences, I must make a decision to cut back on my wrong habit. It is difficult at first, but as you keep yourself focused on what you want to do, it makes it easier. Knowing what is truly important to you can be of help. Read some articles, lessons, or books on how to stop our urge to splurge.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
True, I have been doing great these days (well, mostly because I don't have money to spend perhaps?). I have avoided going to the mall and avoided purchasing things that I wouldn't need for now.
I guess it's back to studying some strategies to make ends meet. I sure do hope that the discipline would create a better habit for me with my finances.
I do hope that your strategies do work as well. Thanks for sharing, have a great mylot experience ahead!
@else22 (4317)
• India
28 Nov 12
This happens with me too,especially when I have enough money in my pocket.Today my son is returning from Hyderabad after a long time.I have been missing him for all these months.As now he is returning,I want to buy something of his choice.All I can think of are some books that he wants to read and keep with him.I have now more than Rs.2000 in my pocket and I will be at a bookstore this evening.Although now I need money,but I can't help buying the books for my dear son.The desire of seeing a smile on my son's lips has overpowered my conscience.Tell me,what should I do.
@bhelle76 (353)
• Canada
28 Nov 12
I think a lot of people like to spend without thinking the consequences. Like my husband before, he likes to spend every penny to nothing from food to anything and I hate him doing that. Well in my case, I am the exact opposite. I don't like spending. I spend and buy something if I really needed it or my kids need it.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
Don't get me wrong, I am thrifty generally but there are those moments when I just splurge them all! Usually on unimportant stuff. Whew!
It's depressing really. But I'm doing my best to change really. I have stopped going to the mall or going to stores. I just go directly to the things I need and have listed down and end it there.
I went to the grocery store yesterday and was able to just buy the things I listed and I'm so glad. I no longer did the thing that I would usually do in the grocery - I usually would go lane-by-lane. But yesterday, I went directly to the lanes that contained the needed things and I went directly to the check-out counter and it was done!
Thanks for sharing, have a great mylot experience ahead!
