What is the secret to having a marriage that lasts and lasts and lasts?

First the secret-there isn't any. Most of it is plain dumb luck! A friend of my parents had a young lady who is a "Gold digger". Her first husband became disabled. She dumped him and now is married to wealthy business owner and lives in snob neighborhood as a trophy wife. The only friends she keeps are those who are of use to her. I have a million of these stories,but anything can happen at any time! Call me weird but I have a game plan set up in my own brain on how I can do everything myself if left alone. Sometimes when my husband questions me on how I plan to do something and what I believe the outcome will be he will actually get a look of disappointment on his face! He then says "why can't I help you"? Ha ha ha ha!!! That's the point! I've noticed over the years men haven't changed much. Most of them want you to be dependent on them! As if we would stop breathing if they weren't there! Idiots. It was for this reason I insisted on a two year engagement. He once asked me why I have to be so independent, so in charge of my life. I told him because I'm the only one who knows whats best for me. If a man can't stand the fact I can stand on my own two feet very successfully they had better take their unnecessary drama elsewhere! That's what makes it work. Have a great day jill!

YES!!! You are walking a path that is much more rocky than mine was, but you're traveling together. That's what true romance is and there are people who would "give their eye teeth" for what the two of you have. I think that with your experience you have the foundation for love eternal. If there's anything that truly anchors a marriage it's surviving turmoil. Multiply that 8 by 4. You can say you've been married 32 years. I hope your life has improved. I'd love to know!

We are on the same path together and I would not have it any other way. Maybe a little less rocky but never with anyone else by my side. It is true, our hard times always seems to bring us closer together. There was also a time where we lived in a motel room for months with our 3 kids. I kept saying baby, I just don't think we will ever get out of here and he kept saying we will overcome this its just another struggle for us. We were going through so much but at the same time I felt SO close to him it was unbelievable. Now, we are in our own house. Every time we pass that motel my husband looks at me and says, didn't I tell you we would overcome that? And I always say yeah you were right. I just couldn't see past what was in front of me, thank God my husband can see the good come out of anything! Our life is better than what we have been through in the past thats for sure. We are going through a rough patch right now because my husband got laid off last week from his job right before Christmas. With 3 children to worry about that makes things VERY hard. But I know my husband and I know God. We will make it through. We have made it through MUCH worse than this! Sorry I talked your head off. Lol. I could talk about my marriage and what we have overcome forever! Lol.

Every once in a while I'm asked this question by the generation behind me. After thinking about the best way to answer it responsibly I finally came up with a short and sweet answer-it's thinking like that and continually thinking like that for the rest of your life that will put your success up to 90%. But there are no guarantees. It takes two with the same mind set but, sometimes one or the other still decides to jump ship. Go figure?

Too true! It's like a vacation. It's not so much where you choose to go, it's about the journey getting there!

You are sooooo correct! My parents were friends with a couple who's daughter everyone but my dad thought was just the perfect child. She was my age and my mom would come home from visiting there and just rant and rave about how pretty and perfect she was, then start yelling at me for not cleaning out the kitchen sink properly! But this girl turned out to be a liar to get what she wanted and left her husband because he became disabled. She was and is a gold digger to this day and hides it behind convincing everyone she is terribly faithful (big lie). She is a trophy wife now, living in a huge house with a wealthy man. And here I am, in a middle class neighborhood, married to the same good man, and running my own business and loving every minute of it. Ha!

Could you imagine the mess you'd be in if????? I believe there is no sin in divorcing a lying looser!!! Even the Catholic church would eventually grant you an annulment! (I'm a recovering Catholic).

I agree, that is a personal choice to get a divorce. But many while getitng married, and years to follow think this is the right person, or they could change this person int he end resulting in divorce. i dont believe this, I will not marry someone I dont have thaat deep down feeling, and that I cant change someone.