Why Don't Newbies Let You Get to Know Them BEFORE they Ask to Be 'Friends'?

I think one of the reasons is because they are advised by older members to "make friends". This usually arises when newbies post questions about getting more people to respond to their discussions. I noticed that after receiving this advice 2 newbies sent me a request. I don't know how often it might happen. I just noticed those two because I had read the discussions they posted but I hadn't responded. The other reasons I believe it happens have already been stated by others. Spam, FB, misconceptions about the site. What I wonder is how do they decide who they want to friend request? I mean if you haven't responded to them in any way. Do they cruise the lot and pick people randomly? Do they read something you posted and like it or can relate to it? Maybe they like a certain avatar. Not in my case. I have 13 that I haven't approved. I've seen their posts and I really can't relate to them at all. A few of the older requests I have haven't even been active after their first few days, which was like 5-6 months ago.

Yes, I too have gotten friend requests from newbies that I have never seen them respond to a post. Something that I try to keep in mind is that it is possible that they may have read one of my discussions even if they have not posted a reply. Generally if they are a newbie that I have not seen in discussion before, I will check through their profile before I decide whether or not to approve them. Generally, I look to see what types of posts they have been posting or discussions that they have been participating in here on myLot. Pretty much, I try to figure out if this a person just wants to get referrals for sites or are they genuinely sending a friend request. One theory that I have about why we get so many friend requests from newbies is because Facebook has made the collecting of friends really popular. I do notice that some newbies are like more interested in collecting friends than participating on the myLot site. I am not sure if this is due them being used to how Facebook work or not. I am really not that familiar with Facebook, but I do know from a few things that I have heard about Facebook is that the number of friends that a person is considered an impressive statistic of status. I mean I heard on one show that I watch that it was a major accompolishment to acquire a certain number of friends. Even if you hear the commercials that this one youth was boosting about how many friends she had in comparison to her parents on Facebook. This could be that we are staring to have more people from Facebook recently joining myLot. Since most newbies do not read information about how the site work, they may be thinking that myLot works like Facebook, which is a major misconception here among newbies.

Personally I think this is an issue with everyone here, and wish they would learn the rules etc first. And hey getting to know someone first helps krep people more motivated to want to continue to post here. But there have been newer people in here I have accepted who have become really good friends in here as well.

Just for note that still have 65 pending friend requests. Some of them ask for it about 7 month ago. Most of them never get involve on my discussions. Most of them have a number bellow 20 next to their username. Month after month, they still got those number. If they didn't increase the number, they will rotten in there or I will remove them from there.

You mean this isn't Facebook? Damn, it's so hard to tell the difference these days! Discuss something? What does discuss mean? Why don't I appear much on mylot anymore?

You're not alone. They wot ask you or get to know us here because they just want to get referrals? Hahaha or they are stroll maybe!? Haha

I really don't understand why people asked to be friends without knowing any of my posts. I usually just check out their posts. If I can't respond to any of their posts , then the answer is no. It is so sad.

I have started getting these too, and I generally don't accept them--just as I generally don't ask someone to friend me unless I find their discussions and interests of interest to me. Since I usually start out answering friends' new discussions or their replies to my discussions or comments, it just seemed logical. But who knows, as some have said, maybe people are mistaking this for Facebook or something...

I had a Friend invite this past week from a new person. I don't think they even had a (10) yet. I don't think I had even seen any of their responses or post yet either. So I just denied the request.

I accept all friends who have known me like friendship here. Yet you want to friendship is very nice because it means that they are interested in you and your discussions. nice day!

I have seen this too and I am not sure why. Maybe they think MyLot is more of a site like Facebook so they are just trying to friend as many people as they can?!? I don't know, just a thought. I wait until the person has been here a little while to accept them as a friend because I have been spammed a lot here...

I never ask for a friendship until I have replied to a few topics posted by a poster. I like to "ease" my way into a friendship. I have had some people request a friendship and I haven't even posted a topic. If someone doesn't like my response, that's their business and not mine.

I agree with you. I am still kind of new here & I do not send out any friend invites. Not to be rude but I agree with you. I would rather people get to know me a little bit before sending me friend invites. I wonder why they randomly sent out the invites? I'd rather just have a few friends that I know will respond to my discussions & where I will respond to theirs then have a lot of friends who don't respond to any of my discussions but just want to be friends so I can respond to theirs.

And yet, you sent me a freind invite minuets after I responded to ONE of your posts. :P