i am hurt.

Would you have rather have stumbled across a drawing of you being mauled by a pack of rabid dogs? So, she used the word "hate" in her diary, which is supposed to be where she can safely vent her feelings. That is so not a big deal--especially considering she didn't shout it at you but, instead, wrote it in her private diary.

I am not a parent yet and somehow I am scared to be one because of this, the pain of knowing your own child hates you. I am not the perfect son and have for many times fought with my parents, my father especially, and I regret all those actions so much. Whenever I think back to it, my heart aches and I get teary-eyed because deep inside me I am truly sorry for that, and although I know sorry would never be enough I just pray to God that somehow I could make it all up to my father and this is actually one reason why I still pursue to finish my course. He wanted a son to have a degree in Civil Engineering and I will be the one, despite the fact that I would love to be finish something else instead. I also pray to God that I will never have to experience this with any of my future child or children, to have heated arguments or fights. I know it must hurt but I hope you are feeling better now. Maybe it's just part of growing up and that what she wrote there was really not meant that way. Sometimes when we are mad we tend to say things out of anger and not truly mean it, right? That is why there is this saying "Never make decisions when you are angry, and never make promises when you are happy", because our emotions can get in the way or can get the best of us.

That must really be hurting for you, seeing what your daughter thinks of you right now. But, have you ever thought or said you "hated" your mom too? We all go through this stage and we regret our words or thoughts most of the time. So, refrain from going near the journal. You should be glad she writes it down instead of tells you to your face. Further, you're not a bad mom, you are the mom she needs. Have a great mylot experience ahead!

Our children could hate us but we could never hate them. I guess from now on when you talk to her say it in a nice way or kinda sweet voice. I guess children hate disciplinarians. I'm glad that our son haven't said he hate me or my husband yet. We are also strict parents especially my husband. He has bad temper and I'm glad that my son tolerates his dad. Our son is only 8 and he's forgetful and playful. Sometimes my heart is also hurt when my husband gets really angry with him. Let's pray that our kids will understand why we are getting angry at them sometimes. Thanks for sharing and happy mylotting.

I am 46 and have written in diaries since I was 11 years old. Sometimes I can tell when I've been annoyed at something (or somebody) as I really let rip. However, a diary can be used as an outlet for anger that needs to be expressed in some way. If the anger cannot be expressed outwardly, the diary is ideal for getting suppressed feelings out in the open. I sleep soundly once I have done so. Do not take the words too seriously. Her hormones will be all over the place and I agree with your hubby. Whatever you do though, don't let on that you've read (even accidentally) your daughter's diary. She would be more upset over that than you are at what she's actually said, ironically.

Oh, that's really sad. Maybe she just wrote it because she was hurt but she loves you very much. Just talk to her about what you saw and ask her about her feelings. It's good to open up with one another. Hope you'll feel well soon.

Hi! It is a normal behaviour of a pre-teen age child or a teenager. They do not want to listen to commands and want to do tasks as per their own liking. Don't feel disturbed by sentence she wrote, she is too young to understand its implications. Try to handle her politely, instead of talking to her in a stern voice. All the best.

I would say don't take it too seriously, because like you said it could have been the time that she was very upset at you and that is the only word that came to mind. But she doesn't really hate you I am sure. It is good that you give her a journal though that she can write down her feelings like that. And the fact that she wrote down how she felt is a good thing. I wouldn't worry about it though, she most likely really didn't mean it. I used to tell my mother I hated her all the time, but I never actually meant it.

dont feel hurt for these kind of things,it will surely stress you out and as a young mother and you can just shy it off

I agree with other people, it is normal. I wrote some things in my journal when I was a teenager that I didn't mean but at the time I was so upset that I wrote it. I wrote things like that too... Not that I meant any of it, I was just angry. Haven't you said anything out of anger that you didn't really mean? I am sure you have. That is exactly what your daughter did. I am sure you doesn't mean it and never meant to hurt you at all...

Hi friend, sad to hear about this, it is really hard to raise kids in this age. They think that they are right and parents are forcing them. They will realize their mistakes after getting maturity, don't worry for this incident, be cool.

You should talk with your daughter and ask why she has been like that. Talk about why she hates you that much. Tell your good intention of telling that she must do and fix her school things first before anything else. Do not feel bad. She might just misinterpreted you.

it takes someone with a high degree of integrity to do what you did, namely, to admit to her that you accidentally read it, at the same time to hear her out. i hope more parents are like you, disciplinarian but with due process. children deserve privacy and to be treated fairly and with respect. it is a great improvement to the way we and our parents were brought up, which was one-sided, either black or white, and can be judgmental. it takes a lot of faith and determination to choose what to continue and what to discard from the way your were raised to adjust to a changing world.

Teenagers can be very rude sometimes. Growing up is difficult and they themselves do not always know right from wrong. Do not be angry at her, but try to understand that she wanted her way, and did not like the discipline at that stage. We, as parents need to be firm, but gracious towards them. You did nothing wrong. I agree that 'hate' is a very strong word, but that was what she felt then. Teenagers usually do not like discipline, but we, as parents should continue to discipline them in love. When you are less sad/angry, talk to her about the incident, but do not tell her you read her journal. In a gentle way explain to her why her schoolwork is important. Tell her that you love her and hug her. Love can overcome many things, I know...

Hello jazel. Your daughter is young but as time goes by there will be more conflicts as she get closer to being a teenager. They start to wanting to be more independent and they are growing faster than you can adjust to. She says I want to do this thing and you say no your too young or it's too dangerous and She may come back with I hate you but she doesn't really. She just hates the fact that you won't allow her to do as she please. Or you want her to do something and she doesn't ant to do it. All this has nothing to do with love or hate but it is a way of expressing herself in a way she understands. There are many times as a parent that I didn't like the way my children acted but I still loved them and I think it is the same with them. they still loved me even though they were angry at me for not giving into to their wants. They don't like our having to tell them no or that they need to do something but that they still love us but are just angry with us. I think we need to allow them their feelings even when it hurts us. Those feeling can and do change with in a little bit.

Young kids dont usually understand real hatred. When they get mad they say they hate you. I wouldnt worry to much about this and try not to let it hurt your heart to much. My 5 year old tells me all the time when he is mad at me that he hates me and I just tell him that I'm sorry but I still love him.

You sure that journal was left open on accident. I'm just asking because my own daughter used to go to some lengths to trap me into a guilt tip including intentionally leaving notes and writing about how mean I am. She even used her best Hannah Montana impersonation to tell me "I HATE YOU!" Did not phase me a bit. She quickly learned that guilt traps do not work with me.

I don't think she meant what she wrote. It's just written in the heat of the moment. It's great that she wrote it down instead of saying it to your face. At least when she writes it down, she can always edit it later and she'd probably erase the sentence. Don't worry too much. She doesn't mean that she hates you as in hate and don't love you anymore. It's only her anger talking. She'll be back to her normal self and when she reads the sentence back again, she'd erase it. I'm sure of that.

You know how children are....they think that they are capable of dong things on their own without anybody's help. And when they are scolded, they feel bad about it. I am sure you have been through that phase. I knew that my eldest son had some bad feelings about me coz I am the disciplinarian between me and my husband. I remember one of his teachers in Elementary telling me that my son opened up to him and said that he felt bad about me because I was strict. ANd also about over a year ago, I heard the same from the wife of my brother in law whom my son was a bit close to. My son is now almost 19 years old. Well, I explained to my brother in law's husband that I admit to being strict but I do not make or do impossible things just to be strict. I implement strict following of rules most especially about school work and about helping me out in the house because we do not have a helper. I think sometimes, if one parent is strict and one parent is lax, the tendency of the child is to think that the strict parent always finds fault in him. Both husband and wife should have an agreement with regards to instilling discipline towards their children. The lax parent should not always show sympathy when the child is being scolded by the strict parent so that the child would know that he has committed a fault and that he should learn to avoid it next time rather than be told by the other parent like, "Don't mind mom. We'll go out and buy ice cream". I don't think it helps in molding a child if the mom and dad are not of the same "wavelength" of discipline.

Oh!it's not really easy in your part as a mom. I understand how you feel, the pain and hurt. Sometimes kids specially those who are in a teen age year respond our discipline into different way if we will discipline them they will tell us that we are bad or we are unreasonable and worst they sometimes think they're right and we're wrong. But, don't be hurt just let them feel and understand your point though it's not easy but they will surely understand gradually.