You find out who your friends are...
By CosmoOwl12
@CosmoOwl12 (411)
United States
December 4, 2012 9:59pm CST
So I have a friend named Linda who I've known since Kindergarten. She's always been a really loud, obnoxious person but we've always gotten along. Linda has known this girl Amanda for a long time as well. Amanda became my friend when I started High School but I knew her before then.
Anyway, Linda got married, had two kids, and now she lives 2 or 3 hours away. Amanda still lives nearby but she has a son and she is very irresponsible so I choose not to hang out with her anymore. She's always moving around and hanging out with the wrong people. She got married when she was 19 and they are seperated but not legally divorced. I just want to give a bit of background information on these girls before I get to my point.
Whenever Linda comes here to visit, she always makes a point to hang out with Amanda. She never lets me know when she's coming to visit unless she can't get a hold of Amanda. So this last time Linda had plans to come here she gave me a call and asked if I had heard from Amanda because she wasn't answering her phone. I told her that I don't really talk to Amanda anymore unless it's on Facebook. She told me that she was coming to visit and she was planning to stay with a family friend for a month. She said she wanted to come see me and my daughter and maybe we could go to the mall or something. I told her that would be cool, she just had to let me know in advance so I could get a babysitter.
About a week or so passed and I see that Amanda's mom had uploaded photos to Facebook of her and Linda. So then I found out that Linda had come to visit but she didn't let me know, she just went to see Amanda and her mom. This kind of upset me but not really because I know the only reason she chose to see Amanda and not me is because they both drink, neither of them take care of their kids, and all they want to do is party. I gave that kind of stuff up a long time ago so I guess they aren't ready to be adults yet.
2 people like this
7 responses
@jeztrose (1405)
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
Sounds not good at all. i guess this just proves that you are not really good for them.Since both of them have lots of the same attitude that is somehow not good,you must try to avoid them somehow i guess it is good in the sense that they didn't let you know because you will just get out of place there and feel boring because you are not used on what they are doing.
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
Hi there. Welcome to myLot. Oh, that's really disappointing but yeah, I guess you can't hang out with them anyway so maybe Linda didn't bother to tell you at all. I hope she'll come and visit you one day, too. You and her alone, not with Linda so you can spend quality time with each other and not spoil your time. Sometimes things happen. We have to let them go and move on. Thanks for sharing and happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
5 Dec 12
Sounds to me that she isn't much of a friend and that you've just outgrown the friendship. Linda and Amanda sound as if they are two of a kind which is probably why she chooses to spend more time with her when she comes around. I wouldn't let it bother me at all. I mean if she calls or comes around, I'd be kind to her if I were you but I would not consider her much of a close friend at all. I think there are different levels of friendship. At least that has been my experience. I have a couple of friends whom I can share everything with and others whom if I only see them once in a while...that's fine and I don't share too many personal things with them.
@CosmoOwl12 (411)
• United States
7 Dec 12
That's the same kind of "friendship" I have with Linda. We may talk on Facebook every once in awhile but I don't tell her many personal things. And she didn't even tell me that she was getting married. Granted, it was just a quick thing at the court house but she didn't even say anything to me about it. I would think that if we were good friends she would have told me. Same with Amanda. She didn't invite me to her wedding after she told me I would be one of her bridesmaids if she ever got married. It really didn't hurt me too much because I thought she was jumping into the relationship too quickly and she got married for the wrong reasons (which now she is realizing I was right).
I especially don't tell Amanda anything personal because her brother is now dating the best friend of my boyfriend's ex. Amanda claims she doesn't like my boyfriend's ex but I beg to differ on that since they all went to a concert together. So that's a big reason why I don't tell her stuff anymore. However, she's always telling me things that my boyfriend's ex has said or done. I just don't trust her.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
I think so, too. Since they have a lot of things in common, they might have thought to hang out together instead of tagging you along coz you might not be comfortable with their ways.
@nicoled1986 (15)
• United States
5 Dec 12
Yea, I agree with you. Those are the types of friends it's just best to stay away from. Not to say that you shouldn't be nice to them but when you have kids and are married i agree that it is just time to move away from all that. We have to choose our battles.
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
5 Dec 12
Just because you have known someone since kindergarten doesn't actually make them your friend. Sounds like Linda and Amanda are two peas in a pod. I know it may hurt your feelings to feel that you are the go-between. But now, you understand and so, it is best to move on. Glad to hear that you gave up all that partying and realized it is really an immature and irresponsible way to live your life. I hope you find good quality friends.
1 person likes this
@betty1989 (751)
• China
5 Dec 12
you must be disappointed to find out that Linda and Amanda both drink and they share the same interest, like attending the party, drinking. This really makes you upset. Linda should not treat you when she has already visited Amanda. It really hurts. Be positive. People can change through age. Linda is no longer the one you knew on kindergarten.
