My Best Friend and My Boyfriend

Tweet

I have been best friends with this guy for almost three years and at the time, we were really close to the point that he became an inspiration and he boosted me to be the best of what I could be. He is 8 years younger than me. Everything was going fine but suddenly, there came a time I began having butterflies in my stomach and feeling this heart-melting sensation when we were together which I began to fear. It appeared that our worlds only consisted of only the two of us and I couldn't focus on things without seeing him at least twice a week. It was like he was a battery that gives me the strength I need to do things and I couldn't help it. I was so scared for the both of us because, I didn't want him to focus only on me and on the things I do. I was afraid of what I was becoming... a greedy girl who only wants him to myself. I want him to see the world and enjoy the things which at his age was enjoyable for other kids. I needed to leave our friendship. I needed to leave him. It was painful but I did it. Though I promised myself and I couldn't deny that he would always be part of my heart, a special part of my life. A gift from God given to save me from the darkness which enveloped me before he came. We became acquaintances after that, only nodding at each other like no connection or relationship happened between us. It's still painful I admit but I don't regret what I did because both of us are still holding on to his promise - "Be the best and I'll be the best for you." In my heart, I still long for his company and the moments we had together that nobody could replace. When I see him, my heart still skips a beat and I long for him too much when I see him, it's still painful seeing him but not being able to be with him. He was the fairy tale which came true in my life. Not a happy ending for us but it was how it should be. I have a boyfriend right now and I love him. My (former) best friend will always be my soulmate but my boyfriend is the reality I want to have in my life permanently.