The right time to let go....
By ctryhnny
@ctryhnny (3460)
United States
December 5, 2012 11:13am CST
My Grandson is 9 months old and my son and his wife will not let anyone babysit and I mean not even me or his other grandmother. They take him everywhere they go including parties (which I disagree with but won't tell them). He's just starting to sit in the high chairs most restaurants have. My son is a stay at home Dad and is with him 24/7 so I thought it would be nice for him and his wife to go out to eat without him and he could stay with me. I have toys and things to keep him busy plus I would love to be able to spend that much time with him alone. Is there a right age for leaving a baby with a babysitter....not stranger but grandmother? Their such "up to date" parents and do so many new things. Are they hearing it's too early to leave their 9 month old son? When did you first leave your child with a sitter?
4 people like this
13 responses
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
I couldn't exactly remember when did we live him with a sitter. I guess he was three months old. We were confident that our baby would be okay at home than outside with us. The air is somewhat polluted so it would be better for him to stay home. For your grandson, he can stay with you already. I guess you're not that old to babysit your grandson. I hope they will entrust him to you next time they'll go out. But for some couples, they feel much better and comfortable if their babies are with them.
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
11 Dec 12
Oh, that's good to hear. That means you'll have chance time to babysit him alone in the future. Just wait for it.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
5 Dec 12
I do not yet have children. However, I do know that I wouldn't allow my mother to keep my extremely young children. She believes in "spare the rod, spoil the child"; I believe that I would rather not have to pay for additional therapy due to having left my children alone with my mother.
Now, if we're talking about one of two of my closest friends... Well, I would happily deposit my young child with either of them and know that the worst they'd do is try to teach my kid some weird and annoying phrase or tell tales of how to sneak out of boarding school or, perhaps, let them watch a bit too much anime. Good influences... ![](/Content/images/emotes/lol.gif)
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@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
5 Dec 12
We left our son with my parents for the first time when he was 2 and a half (for the entire day). Prior to that, we'd left him for about an hour with my husband's sister and brother-in-law, one time when we both had to attend a meeting. And when he was about 16 months old, we left him with my parents for about 20 minutes once.
I don't think there is a right age nor a wrong age. The baby will be fine if left with other people, and will also be fine if he stays with his parents all the time. As first time parents, we have so many theories and ideas pushed on us (and the internet means that there is a lot of information available to us) that it can be kind of hard to relax and just let things be.
Maybe just let them know you're available and then wait.
(On a side note, I'm sure it doesn't apply to you, but my mother-in-law has an untrained, high spirited dog, a lot of breakable antiques at low levels, and constantly talks about how she's an older grandparent. It makes it hard to envision leaving my active toddler in her home. If any of this applies to you, perhaps you could suggest watching the baby in their home?)
Also, while my son was a baby, I couldn't envision leaving him with anyone else. The first time with my sister-in-law was hard. But once I saw that it didn't bother him at all, I felt better. It's likely that once your son and daughter-in-law have left the baby once with someone, they'll be fine with subsequent times.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
5 Dec 12
My first I had to leave with a babysitter (co worker as well) as I had to work. This was a big disaster. She was a very easy child, you did not need to keep her busy at all but as that babysitter was there she started screaming. I don't think the baby sitter was very interested in taking care of her. After that experience I stayed home. I never had a baby sitter or someone else taking care of my kids at day or night. If you have a child you take care of it as well. You do not dump it with grandparents/family or a babysitter if you want to go out. If it's not possible to take your child with you, you do not go. It's as simple as that.
There is no age you SHOULD leave your child behind with a baby sitter or family. This is up to the parents which is not you. I think a child, especially nowadays, is very lucky if he/she can be with his/her parents every day. It's more luxury as normal nowadays especially in the western world. Sounds to me it's more about you who wants to spend time with her grandson as the fact the parents do need it to go out together. So if this is what you want say so and ask if you can be alone with your grandson for some time/hours.
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
5 Dec 12
Maybe they care for you too that they don't want you to be tired. 9 months old still needs more attention so maybe they think it will be hard for you and they will be giving you hard time. Why not just drop by at their place and stay there for hours so you can be with your grandson while your son can assist you as well.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
6 Dec 12
Hi Ctryhnny and welcome to my lot. Is this their first child? When I had my first child I didn't want anyone to take care of my child I wanted to spend as much time with that child so I could teach my child everything. I didn't leave any of my children with anyone till they were at least a couple of years old. This is the time that I felt I needed to bond with my children. And me personally I wouldn't have missed a single moment of that time I had with my children. Take your time one day your child will one day need you to take care of their child, but they have to make their own minds up when they feel it is time. Stop and think how you felt when your child was born how you wanted that child all to yourself. Give it time they will one day just start to ask you to take care of that special child that God gave them!
@toyota4k (1208)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Huh. That's absurd and I might say it is an act of being rude to you. I agree with the opinion that a grandchild is more loved and cherished than the way you gave to a son or daughter. It's silly how they don't even trust you. Others would be thankful if a grandparent is willing to baby sit ones child but in your case, it's just the opposite.
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
6 Dec 12
Well if just leave your baby to your grandmother,I think every time is OK and sometimes I think grandmother has more experiences than the young mother.But if just leave to the babysitter,then I think around 3 years old will be good.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
6 Dec 12
sounds better than the parents who always dump kids off on someone else all the time. I think as a few months go by.. they will change. Lets hope so anyway.
@leeandrew (1225)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
I have the same problem with your son and his wife, but mine is a little not extreme. I sometimes left my one year with in-laws whenever hubby and I needs to go somewhere alone.
The only thing that makes me take my baby with me is... she now kind of know that she's being left out and would cry like crazy for quite sometime whenever we leave her with in-laws. She would looked on every room and the toilet too to see if mama is hiding there from her.
I don't approved with babysitter too (I mean those you hire to take care of your baby), but in-laws are so fine with me co's I know they love and care for my baby girl.
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
6 Dec 12
there is no specific time. Could there be any possibilities, that they are just proud of their son and wanted to show to the whole world that they have adorable son, now. Yes, and that is good, not to get in the way with the decision regarding your grandson. Why not suggest instead of demand that they go on a date together just the two of them so that they will have time for each other and you will take care of grandson instead. Maybe they are just hesitant to ask you to look after their son, in this way, you are giving them the cue that you don't mind taking care of him. ![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@myranel (29)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
I know how you feel. I'm not yet a grandmom, i'm only 30 haha. I'm not yet a mom also (I hope so) but i almost feel like a mom since we (together with my Mom and Dad)took care of my nephew. He's turning 5 years old next January. My nephew lives with us since he was born. My brother became a dad at a young age (19). Everyone's attention is in my nephew. We love him so much. His mom and my brother broke up. My nephew stayed with us. I think that there's nothing wrong if they will allow you to take care of your grandson. You're not just a baby sitter but his GRANDMA. It's not good that they take him everywhere. A baby is more prone to viruses and bacteria. You're grandson is already 9 months old, i think it's ok if you will be the one to take care of him. But if I become a mom someday, i want to take care of him and not hire a baby sitter. If i'm gonna do something really important, I'll take my baby to my mom. Because I'm sure that my mom will TAKE GOOD CARE of him.
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