..freedom in a relationship?

Thank you subho! I'm glad that relationship ended, otherwise I won't be the person I am now. I now have my own identity, my self-esteem, my self-respect, my love for myself LOL and my freedom. Plus I have a boyfriend for 5 years who respects all that. I am so happy with him! We are not perfect but we always solve problems and setbacks together. We're practically partners in crime, best friends and playmates. haha! I also want others to feel this kind of happiness in a relationship. I am aware that we aren't the typical couple people see. We are both weirdos. One of my friends stated once that we don't look like lovers but like merely friends. But I disagree that there is something wrong with us. People should be friends before they become lovers, right? It's what makes a relationship last longer. Some people also question why we don't text each other often but do it sparingly. My boyfriend and us like it that way and keeps things interesting between us. We don't feel pressured to inform each other how we are doing it, we do it in our own time when it is convenient and when we want to talk about it freely. We don't even need to ask or demand that from each other. Some also say if i am worried he might cheat on me. Frankly, I don't want to think negatively and act all paranoid. My boyfriend is old enough to know what is right from wrong. Why should I supervise? That's not really my responsibility anymore. If he chooses to cheat, then he'd lose me. His lose not mine! So sorry for dragging on this so long, haha! Hope you don't mind! So that's basically how I practice my freedom in my relationship!

Thanks a ton for your response again. Well that is what i call a perfect relationship and u wont believe how happy i am after hearing your story. I completely agree to u on this point that partners have to be good friends and then perfect lovers. I think if people perceive u both as friends then it is indeed a good indication that u both a good chemistry and compatibility which is forcing them to conclude this way. keeping things as simple as possible is something i would always like to conclude. What say?

Thanks a ton for your valuable response. Yes i completely agree to you on this that we should learn to love ourselves first, and then only we can give chance to someone else to love us. When restrictions are being made in a relationship it is like choking yourself for someone and loosing out your own identity. Seriously hats off to you that u broke off just because u did not like the way it went and i think this should be the attitude of all the partners in love. What say?

Hi riyauro, you are back is it? I mean are you serious some like this possessiveness. I never heard /seen like this one before. But they will definitely get the problems after wards/ as the time passes. I have seen people feeling sad about this .

@riyauro- Thanks a ton for your valuable response again. Well yes u are absolutely right, but i am shocked that they have been in a relationship for about 4 years but still that girl has never complained about anything. She once said that she is happy and OK with him and his restrictions. So i was bound to close my mouth and give her a smile. But i think she should have at least talked to her boyfriend regarding this. What say?

@prashu228- Thanks for your response prashu. Well even i have never heard about someone being happy for the other being possessive. Yes we can say that many people adjust to the possessiveness of others but i think adjusting to all such restrictions is not good as far as a relationship is concerned. If this trend continues then the guy starts dominating his girl for all matters which might not go well for their relationship in the long run. Both have to be matured enough to talk to each other regarding this. What say?

Thanks a ton for your valuable response. Well yes u are absolutely right, one of the main signs of a matured relationships is where both the partners let each other have freedom and space in their relationship as one of my friend had pointed out before. This means that we are allowing them to do whatever they want to but within certain limits and boundaries and even we should have this confidence that they would never cross their limits. Being possessive about each other is absolutely fine but within certain limits. What say?

hi prash and subhojit..it is very common that the lovers become possessive fast. it is an indication that the lovers are very immature and relationships does not last like this.. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.

@riyauro- Hello. Glad to see your response after so many days. Anyways thanks for your valuable response over here. Yes u are absolutely right, lovers do become possessive once they get into a relationship and they try to find ways to put all possible restrictions on each other as they fear if the other would slip away from their hands. But as u have mentioned this is indeed an indicator of immaturity and amateurishness and they have to use their conscience when in a relationship. What say?

Thanks a ton for your valuable response. Yes u are absolutely right, but in my opinion, having restrictions in a relationship works to a certain extent and it keeps reminding u about your commitment for your partner but those restrictions should not be such that it will suffocate the other one and it will create misunderstandings. So both have to have mutual understanding and faith upon each other that they both wont cross any limits and only then the relationship will taste success. What say?

Thanks a ton for your valuable response. Yes u are absolutely right, if we really love someone then we will never suspect them for any reasons. We will have confidence and faith on them in every circumstances and just as u have said that u need to allow the other person to enjoy the freedom and not by cutting off his or her friends that will mean pure selfishness and high degree of possessiveness. What say?

May be that's true .He don't have any confidence in his relationship.

Thanks a ton for your valuable response. Yes u are absolutely correct, those who have confidence upon their relationship and on their partners will never dare to doubt them in all circumstances. They believe on each other at every time and are ready to give space and freedom to each other so that both do not feel suffocated in each others company. That guy is very possessive about my friend and every time it seems as though he has this fear of losing her. What say?

Thanks a ton for your valuable response. Yes i completely agree to you on this, those who value their relationships and who have faith and confidence on each other will never doubt on each others commitment. They will always be on the right track and will have this feeling every time that they have to stay loyal to their partner at all times. Those who keep on doubting their partners and have insecurities about them will always fall on the wrong side. What say?

Thanks a ton for your valuable response. yes even i feel the same, no doubt it is good that some one is caring a lot about the other but that should not take the shape of obsession and possessiveness. There has to be some freedom and space in a relationship which means that partners are trusting each other and are not doubting one another for unnecessary reasons. They have to give each other chance to enjoy their lives and yet stay within their boundaries. What say?

Thanks a ton for your valuable response. Well i really loved the way u pointed out that a relationship should be based on the give and take policy. If we are giving away the space and freedom to our partners then we should not expect any misuse of such freedom. Putting restrictions on each and every aspect in a relationship will indirectly affect both of them and they would constantly feel the need of moving out from each others company. So one has to understand that without freedom, a relationship cannot be thought of to last longer. What say?

Thanks a ton for your valuable response. Yes u are absolutely right, a relationship that is based on insecurities and doubtfulness does not last long. The partners who are in a relationship should understand the fact that each one of them have an individual life also and they both have the right to do whatever they want but not at the cost of their relationship. Any thing that is done which could potentially hurt the other person should never be attempted. What say?

Thanks a ton for your valuable response. Yes i am glad to know that u are into a relationship where freedom is given more importance and where restrictions and boundaries are just a thing of the past. A relationship that is built on accusation, indifference and insecurities has never lasted longer and would never be. We have to give space and freedom to our partners so that they never get this feeling of suffocation while being in a relationship. What say?

Thanks a ton for your valuable response. Yes i completely agree to you on this, a matured relationship is that relationship where partners have faith believe and confidence on each other and who never question on each others commitment. They see to it that they never cross their boundaries and never do any such thing that will hamper their relationship. They have to become sensible and intelligent enough to understand that without freedom a relationship is very difficult to survive. What say?