You make my life miserable!

MsTickle

@MsTickle (25180)

• Australia

19 Dec 12

I can tell by your words that you are a little uplifted by the responses here. I wish you well on this difficult journey of yours. I do know how you feel.

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

30 Sep 15

hi@mstickle wow yo u said it better than I couild m,uy dad was l ikse that anmd I go so I tol;d him stop it I will n ot allow yuou to talk tro me liok that then I got a jobm moved out and oh hoiw sweet they both became. one m, ust stick up for ones self alw ays.

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

18 Dec 12

Thanks for your response Ms Tickle. I really appreciate all the responses that I get here. My parents are really toxic. Being with them is like being in a volcano. You will never know when they would explode! One moment they are so caring and the next minute, they could kill with their words!

1 person likes this

Jane

@jaiho2009 (39141)

• Philippines

7 Dec 12

hello blue, I understand your feelings. I am also a daughter and now a mother of three young teeners. I can only suggest you one thing...ignore how your parents treat you. If they ask you to run errands or do things for them- just follow them. If they talk trash- ignore and pretend you did not hear anything, or maybe while they are talking get out of their sight. I know doing so make you looks bad- they will surely get mad soon as you walk out while they are still talking. But- no matter how to understand them or treat them well- you're still bad right?- so what's the use of showing them goodness. Imagine them like ordinary neighbors asking favor each time they ask you to run errands. Slowly you will find it easier for you to understand the way they are treating you. At least you are not disobeying them- and you are not answering them back or saying bad words. I know my suggestion sounds weird- but you can give it a try. By treating them as ordinary people in your life you will not feel bad by the way they are treating you. Maybe you will find it hard from the start- but later on you will get use to it.

2 people like this

parenting

Jane

@jaiho2009 (39141)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

I was once disowned by my parents (I admit it's partly my fault- but not totally mine) They showed and treated me like a stranger. It hurts me a lot, so bad that I cried almost everyday of my life for many years. I did all my best to gain back their trust (thu, like what I wrote, it's not totally my fault) but, being the child I did everything to win them back. After 2 years of giving my all- I feel like I don't have more to give- I surrender. I did not show them bad, nor said a single bad words to them - I just keep in silence, do the usual thing a daughter must and should to their parents. Until one day, I find my old parents- yes, they've changed at last. Without a single word- no sorry nor explanation happened-slowly I gain them back in my life.

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

I like the thing that you had said, to ignore the way they treat me. You are right. I should. But sometimes it is hard because of the bad words but I should really try to. Thanks for your good thoughts. Its a big help

Sreekala

@Sreekala (34312)

• India

7 Dec 12

I am sorry to read about your hurts that also because of your parents.

Some parents are like that they never understand their kids or help them to develop. I really appreciate your patience with them and taking care of their needs. That may be the reason they are depending more and more on you. There is nothing wrong to be bold infront of your parents. Once they realize they can’t insult or hurt you any more they change their attitude. You can make them understand your problems and hurts without loosing the respect. I knew in old age, people become bit harsh or behave like a child. Nothing to get hurt and cry everything will be smooth after period of time. Share and ask opinion of your hubby. I hope he can support you.

2 people like this

parents

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

Hello. Thanks for your response. I am glad that I have a friend too with my husband where we can talk almost anuthing bout life. He undrstands me and he supports me always.

TheRealDawn

@dawnald (85146)

• Shingle Springs, California

7 Dec 12

You can't change your parents, you can only change you. So from where I stand, your choices are: 1. cut off the relationship with them 2. limit the relationship as much as possible 3. find a way to not let their nastiness get to you good luck!

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

30 Sep 15

@bluespygirl believe in yourself always, know you are somebody, say no and mean it hugs from hatley Im so lad mym,om was sokind m y dad was a mean, cro uchy, mentally sick man.

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

Thanks for your comment dawnald. :) I limit my relationship with them. I learned to say NO once and a while too. I resort to myLotting so that my hurt will not give me a reason to do not so good things. I am not a religious person but I learn to pray everytime I do not feel good about things..

rebel_woman06

@SIMPLYD (90721)

• Philippines

7 Dec 12

Don't be put down by what your parents do to you, my friend.

Talk to your parents and tell them what has been bothering you all these years. Cry if you must, when in front of them so they can feel how much hurt you have been carrying with you all these years. Tell them that you have been their obedient daughter so there's no need for them to put you down nor for them to say bad words, when you can't do what they are trying to tell you. It's high time that you have to tell them what you feel. Pray that they may finally relent and stop what they have been doing to you. By the way, are you their only child?

1 person likes this

rebel_woman06

@SIMPLYD (90721)

• Philippines

8 Dec 12

I think your parents doesn't notice that you are already getting old too, my friend. Maybe you can tell them that your other siblings can already take your place because they too have grown up and it's high time they do your former role too. See, your siblings thought you are the favorite. Maybe because you can always ask your parents easily for some favors too.

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

That is one thing that I can be proud of myself. I never ask for favors or anything from them. Even that I do errands, most of the time, I am "abonado" or I am spending extra. Well, sometimes there are perks in being with them to do works. Just like now. We are in Baguio City (Dec 9 2012) to drive for them. They just feel to go here. We will be here until tomorrow, Dec 10. But, the downside of being away from home is I have lesser time in our own business.

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

7 Dec 12

I just pray when I am hurt and I try to understand them. I had tried talking to them many times but they feel that I am over reacting. I was brought up to be tough and responsible. They feel that I can handle ALL things at my hand. But you see, I am getting older too with responsibilities in my own family and my health isn't as it is before. Like I can't drive for them now that long from manila to the province because of my eyes, etc. I am the eldest. I have three sisters and a brother. My siblings always tell me that I am the favorite child but I felt different. Maybe I was a favorite "shock absorber".

1 person likes this

ZoeJoy

@ZoeJoy (1392)

• United States

7 Dec 12

You sound like you are a grown woman. Sometimes if parents are not the best of parents, adult children (sadly) need to have some distance between themselves and their parents. You need to stop taking the abuse - that is, when your dad starts to say bad words to you, cut him off. Say, in a kind way, "I love you dad, but I have to go. I am a busy person now. I will talk to you later or write you a letter." Be in control of yourself. Don't let your parents dominate you anymore. Seek counseling and since you are asking God, seek Godly counseling. That will indeed help you. Many Blessings to you.

2 people like this

controling our emotions

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

Thanks for your response. :) Yeah, I am seeking counselling to you guys here in myLot. :) I am not spiritual but I have learned in my life that the number one people who will help you is God.

BarBaraPrz

@BarBaraPrz (47611)

• St. Catharines, Ontario

7 Dec 12

Aw, you need a big hug.

Your friends here at myLot still love you.

1 person likes this

need to take care of yourself

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

Thanks for the hug! :) I feel loved.

Thanks for reading and dropping by. :)

blue65packer

@blue65packer (11826)

• United States

7 Dec 12

Your parents are taking advantage of you and they know it! They don't care about themselves! They only care for themselves! They are selfish,arrogant and extremely rude! You should tell no more! Tell them they are ruining your life and it is time you get on with your life! If they don't like it,that's their problem! Let them find someone else to do their errands! Your parents seem to have issues with themselves and they are handling it by taking it out on you. My dad was like that with me,my siblings and my mom. I'm till trying to over come some of the pain and frustration my dad verbally did to me! It has made me depressed too! My advice is telling your parents how you feel.Say why you are doing it and do it! Aviod all their calls and not see them for a period of time! You need to take care of yourself! You are more important to yourself then you are to your parents! You will feel better in the long run if you do it!

1 person likes this

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

Yeah, they are taking advantage of me. :( They cant do this to my siblings. It is just me that they treat like this. They really have some issues on themselves like they are getting old, etc.. Thanks for sharing what you thought about this matter. It is helping my feelings to be okay. I hope you are feeling okay now about your pains too

Jenny1015

@jenny1015 (13366)

• Philippines

7 Dec 12

Hello bluespygirl! I am so sorry if you feel that your parents are neglecting you as their daughter and as a person. It is hard to judge them coz I do not know what may be causing them to treat you this way. I hope you can still hold on. I think that you need somebody to talk to about your problems. Although sharing it here at Mylot may somehow help you release the tension, still it is different if there is somebody that you can talk to, real-time.

1 person likes this

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

7 Dec 12

Hello jenny1015. Thanks for your response. It is my husband that I talked to about this with my parents. I do not know either why they are like this even wnen I was a child. On the other side, being with my studies then and so much responsibilities at a young age makes me a strong person. It seems to me that I can do all things in life.

2 people like this

Jenny1015

@jenny1015 (13366)

• Philippines

8 Dec 12

Well, that is good to know! Atleast, you have a husband that supports you. Just do not lose your patience with your parents. Despite being treated that way, I hope you would never falter in loving them. And strive to be a much better parent to your kids.

miadsoriano

@miadsoriano (884)

• Philippines

7 Dec 12

Your post actually touched a nerve. I, too, sometimes feel like my father has little patience towards me. But he has never used bad words or cursed at me or call me bad names. Just impatient. Maybe a little frustrated at me, I think sometimes. We used to be real close when I was a kid. I was a daddy's girl. I really can't remember when his "impatience" towards me started. All my other siblings tend to answer back at him. I don't. Maybe that's why. My husband once told me that I am my father's child, meaning...we both have the same traits and built of the same characteristics. That's why we clash. I guess too that he had many dreams for me. I don't know. Like you, I can never bring myself to talk to him about it. And like you, I just offer my prayers to God that He may see me and my father through this obstacle. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I understand you and that I feel your pain. We are in pain because we care, that's for sure. Let's pray for one another, shall we? Godspeed my friend!

1 person likes this

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

Hello Miadsoriano! I will surely pray for you too. :) Thanks for your comment. That may be true. We are hurt because we care.

rubyroy

@rubyroy (824)

• India

11 Dec 12

Whether it is parents or close ones are making you miserable,please tell them openly that you refuse such hurtful behaviour,and if they are repeating it,that you will have to stop your relationship with them.If they are making you depressed,keep them at a distance for your mental peace.Nobody has a right to hurt you or to make you miserable.Then submit all your pains and hurt to our Lord.He will open a way for all your problems.

hurt

surmount

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

30 Sep 15

@bluespygirl honeyh being on you r o wn wo uld be so much better than l iving with them just get a good job and an apt and visit when yo u want an d only when you want.

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

18 Dec 12

Thanks for your response rubyroy! I am distancing myself to them whenever I can. Being with them is like walking in a thin wire in the air -- frightening. Or being beside a volcano because you never know when they would explode. Ofcourse there are happy momnets, but the next minute, they can turn into monster. :(

Angelpink

@Angelpink (4034)

• Philippines

7 Dec 12

Oh my are you my soulmate ? The words you spoke are mine ! Those are exactly my words " seems don't want me to be happy " . We are in same situation when it comes to family but just that yours are but worser. Only mom is showing less affection to me but not dad , problem is da is already in heaven . Mom didn't treat me they way other siblings are treated but this doesn't make me love her less , still i am loving her though so many times i am asking myself if i am her real daughter or just an adopted one. But anyways only God knows that. What you did is just right , don't throw back anger to your parents , no matter what they words they are giving you , just remain as humble as you can be , don't put those bitter words in your heart , lift them all to God . He will comfort you and protect you. Those who are persecuted can inherit heaven , remember that line in the bible ? It's okay , i know we will be happy someday , better days are waiting for us .Let us just be patient and love ourself if no one does and anyways God is there who loves us 24/ 7 , guess thats enough or more than enough. For now continue being so very good , God is counting on you ! God bless friend ! I care !

1 person likes this

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

Maybe we are meant to be good friends angelpink. I am a good listener. :) I am not throwing my anger to my parents. Sometimes I wish I am a rebellious person so that I could give them what they give me. I wish could express myself more. Thanks for your response.

Nitin Nair

@nitinnair89 (2900)

• India

9 Dec 12

Hi there. Please do not feel sad due to this. Did you have a talk with your parents along with your husband? I mean, take them out, maybe for a dinner or for a small pic..just you with your husband and them..open your mind to them and get to know the reason why they behave like that to you..Maybe they are feeling some trouble which they cannot share to you or something like that..Are you the only child for your parents? Maybe they might sense of losing you or they have no one to share their problems with..Maybe a good talk with open mind and hearts will calm everything down. Take care friend. And please do not cry..they cannot see your tears when you are not with them, so please stop crying. I may sound like big talks, but i hope you feel lucky to have parents...you can think of those who are alone in this world without parents..So please calm down and I wish everything settles down soon.

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

18 Dec 12

Thanks for responding nitinnair. I really did cry when I was writing this. I feel so comfortable that I did get responses to what I feel. I feel loved and I feel that I have many friends. I am the eldest. Yeah, I think they have the sense of being neglected now that we all have our own families. I was thinking that my parents are feeling neglected o I just understand them. I share everything with my husband and I am glad he listens and give me advice.

Nitin Nair

@nitinnair89 (2900)

• India

18 Dec 12

Hi. No problem friend. People here are to share and understand each other

songst557

@songst557 (232)

• China

7 Dec 12

I don't think this kind of parents should be treated by respect.You have said a keyword,it's "NO",just say no to them. If you make a living by youself,you can live far away from them,and if they keep scolding you on the phone,just hang up.Don't afraid people will blame you. cheer up!!!

1 person likes this

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

7 Dec 12

Thanks for dropping by. :) I hang up on my father awhile ago. I hate being scolded at this age. I felt I am not a good person and at times, I just want to hide from everything and just cry. I feel that I am not a good person. I feel that I am not respected by other people. I am just want to hide and cry. This affects the way I treat my kids and my household. Sometimes, I am questioning what is all about. I have so many things in mind that I can't function well. :(

1 person likes this

ShannyBananny

@shaggin (72183)

• United States

8 Dec 12

I am so sorry you have to feel like this. I dont know why they treat you this way but it sounds like they dont appreciate you. Your father swearing at you because you couldnt hear what he said when he was in a busy place is just rotten. I would tell him that if he is going to be nasty he can get his own things. Dont let them walk all over you tell them if they cant treat you with respect and appreciate you then you arent going to be helping them out anymore at all.

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

30 Sep 15

hiu@shaggin she needs to be o n her o wn as they donot appreciate her help at all it su re does change parents reactio ns when yo u move out and are on your own an ccome back to visitr.

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

Thanks for your response shaggin. I really appreciate all the comments.

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

30 Sep 15

oh my dear Im so sorry for you can you get away find an apt work amnd rent it they sou nd like toxuc people if you have a fri end or relatve you liuke who w uld r ent to you get away from those toxic people

marguicha

@marguicha (223720)

• Chile

10 Dec 12

I read you post and I read some of the answers. I am a mother and a grandmother and I feel that parents should earn the respect from their children and not just expect them because they are your parents. You did not ask them to bring you to the world. So, if they want something from you, they must show at least some civility. I read that you hung up the phone. Good for you! Don´t answer them

family

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

18 Dec 12

Thanks for your response friend marguicha! I really appreciate it especially from you. I am sorry it took me a long time to answer. Some parents like my parents feel that they still have authority over their children no matter what age is. But when it comes to being helpful, they are in contrast. I mean, they don't extend help because they think we are old ebough to have things on our own. Civility an respect. I tell them that they should give me that. I told them to give them to me atleast as person if they don't respect me a their daughter

adhyz82

@adhyz82 (36249)

• Indonesia

7 Dec 12

just be patient i can understand your feeling maybe your parents expect you more..maybe.. they can only answer why they do like that to you..

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

9 Dec 12

THanks for your response. Yeah, my parnets expect many from me. It is just the phrase from the song. " I did my best but my best wsn't good enough .. " for them

dorannmwin

@dorannmwin (36392)

• United States

9 Dec 12

I know that what I am going to say here is something that does seem to be a bit harsh, but I really do think that the first step in making yourself feel better about your life and also toward ensuring that your parents won't do thinks like this to you anymore is to tell them about what they've done to you that really does bother you. I believe that it is only after you've done this that you will be able to find that the relationship between your parents and yourself will begin to heal.

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

30 Sep 15

@bluespygirl youi are a good person re peat this to yourslerf face them then move out, m y dad was so po isonous I had to l eave at 19 and it did wonders they both wer so changed when I came to visit.

@bluespygirl (2112)

• Philippines

18 Dec 12

Thanks for responding dorannmwin! I feel good that I do get responses from all of you here. Rest assured that I do HEAR them all.

1 person likes this