My uncle passed away yesterday
By scorpiobabes
@scorpiobabes (7225)
United States
December 9, 2012 11:45am CST
I received a Facebook message from my cousin Tony's wife Stephanie to let my sister and me know that our uncle passed away yesterday morning, several days after he was removed from life support.
I'm upset, but more so at my family than anything else. Why wasn't I told anything prior? I keep being told "Oh, we didn't have your number", yet my number hasn't changed in EIGHT YEARS. Ever since my mother passed away more than ten years ago, and my father three years ago, our family has largely ignored us. My father was upset after my sister's wedding but he was part of my mom's family for more than 40 years at the time. My sister moved to South Carolina in 2006, and her husband lost his job within a few months, so she hasn't had the money to travel north.
Another cousin actually wrote me on Facebook and asked for my address, supposedly for her mother to mail me an invitation for her baby shower. Guess my invitation got lost in the mail because the baby was born months ago. I did see one cousin in the summertime when he was playing nearby; and a year earlier, I saw his entire family at his 40th birthday party. But with me not working, and Jim working overnights, we can't participate in a lot of family functions, even if we were invited.
This is so typical of my family-growing up, I was always the last to know anything. I was the last to be formally told by my sister that I was invited to her wedding-though I was to be her matron of honor! Of course, that turned out to be one of the most unpleasant experiences in my life.
3 people like this
8 responses
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
9 Dec 12
I am very sorry to read of the passing of your uncle. Some families are so widely scattered these days that keeping up is very hard to do. I have a friend in California whose parents married multiple times and she has brothers and sisters that she has never even met. I find that no matter how much I try there are always people that just don't bother responding let alone taking the first step with communication. There's. it much that you can do except remind them periodically that you still exist and would love to hear from them!
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
9 Dec 12
My ex boyfriend Greg (from high school) is the youngest of eight. His mother remarried in 1969 after being widowed with seven children, and they had Greg in 1970. At some point they divorced. When Greg was a teenager, he received a message from someone. Turned out his father had remarried and he had even MORE brothers and sisters! He went to meet them, but his father refused to acknowledge him (how cruel).
I have tried numerous times to reach out to my mother's family, but it's almost as if I'm an inconvenience to them, so I'm not so inclined any longer. I've tried to keep in touch with my father's side, but they live so far south of me that we've been unable to go to my aunt and uncle's home.
@ramkumars16 (67)
• India
10 Dec 12
I am very sorry for your lose.I understand how you feel about your relatives I thought these kind of people are their in my family only.Now a days people don't give value to fellow beings they give value and importance only to currency papers.I really hope the end of the world should come
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
10 Dec 12
I'm just saddened that my family fell apart after my mother's passing. My mother was the oldest female, and really was the member of the family that everyone looked up to since she was the first (and only) member of her siblings to go to college. She would be so unhappy to see what has happened.
@GardenGerty (160615)
• United States
9 Dec 12
My deceased husband's family is like that, dropped us off the face of the earth. Did decide, eventually, to contact the kids, making a comment that they had "finally found" them. As my daughter says, "we were never lost." She keeps in contact a little, but will not go out of her way ever again. She actually made plans one summer to drive down from Minnesota by herself with her two little girls for a family reunion, that ended up not happening.
My current husband has family like that. No one told him his dad was dying. When they did, he had to wait on his sister to wrap some Christmas packages before they could drive there, and he never saw his dad alive again. His "little sister" just casually called us the other day to tell us she was in the United Arab Emirates (related to a job) but heading home. We were both working. Sheesh. I am glad my family is not like that.
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
9 Dec 12
That's terrible to not tell someone their parent is dying! That happened with someone I knew, except that she found out from a notice in the paper that her dad had passed and was already buried! Some people are just so insensitive.
Jim's own grandmother refused to acknowledge her daughter-in-law (Jim's mom), and also rejected her grandchildren. Jim's never quite gotten over it. And his father never quite got past the rejection either-he wrote a letter that was stored on the computer we're using. I think that Jim should read it though.
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
10 Dec 12
I feel so sorry to hear that,and may your uncle rest in peace in heaven.
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
10 Dec 12
I wouldn't say that it was strange, more like rude. Out of sight, out of mind with my family it seems. But thank you for your kind words.
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
9 Dec 12
And I thought my family was the only one like yours! I'm sorry you lost your Uncle but if he was on life support he must have been very sick. I think fb and email has taken away so much from our families. You should have received a call from someone when your Uncle was in the hospital not after he's gone. That was horrible of your sister but again it sounds just like my family. Everyone is fighting with everyone so nobody talks to anyone. It's so sad!
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
10 Dec 12
so sorry to hear that.. especially at this time of year. the holidays. Makes it all the more hard on ones family. Make sure you are there for his family during these hard times. Sorry for your loss. Take care there.
