Criticisms: How much you can handle?

Hello Sidhu, It seems (on watching your photo) you are going down on health wise. Anything wrong? I know the issues are complicated with you and you still need chocos and ice-cream. Regarding the topic, criticism from dear people may acceptable as they may do it as a lovable way.

Viju, Won't you get afraid if you see it in midnight?

Sid, Yu can frighten people at midnite... many are afraid of skeleton

hi vidhyparakash Yes I can accept someone here pointing out an error if it is done kindly. I once hurt a fellow mylotters feelings with an expression I used and another mylotter, friend to us both told me I had hurt my mylotter friend's feelings and she was sure I had done so unintentionally. "Well I had indeed not intended to hurt here feelings and private messaged her. \I explained that the expression I had used w as meant merely as a joke nothin more and apologized for hurting her.She accepted my apology and we a re still friends. I was a lot more careful about expressions that might be misunderstood after that. I have never flamed anyone bu t once and it was so stupid of me then. I got a really insulting response to a discussion of mind. Instead of reporting it to the admins as I should have done I commented back with an even more insulting comment. both our response were deleted along with my discussion for starting a f laming war. I accepted the deletion gracefully knowing I had indeed done wrong.

Hi anna, yes we must avoid such kind of topics no use of participating because they will be deleted. Here we are there as friends and be good with each other, ofcourse we do mistakes but we must tell them in a soft way not in the way of hurting. They should not hurt with our words. Have a nice day anna.

Jo, you are right, we must avoid hurting others. There is nothing wrong in pointing out the mistake, but we must do it in a friendly way without hurting others feelings

Hello angelkarah, Actually criticism is not allowed in mylot. We can express our opinion without hurting or criticizing anyone. I have face criticism and I didn’t care and replied back in a polite way. In real life it is very much different, I think. Thank you so much for your views.

Hello angel, Criticism is violating guidelines but suggestions are welcome. If the starter can make their criticism in the other way then it may survive and will be beneficial for others. It is my pleasure to have you here. Have a nice day.

I guess some discussions are being criticized here and yeah, they're often deleted. Some mylotters are even sarcastic. It's good that myLot admins don't allow criticisms here. That's one of the violations in myLot guidelines. My pleasure to respond here.

Hello Anand, You caught me, I have not seen the same until you point out it. I typed 2012 only then where comes this ‘0’. Regarding the topic, yes the way of criticism is playing an important role. If it is on a sarcastic way then it hurts for sure. Positive criticism may help us to change and encourage.

I hope the year 2012 does not mind it... you living way back in 2010 and talk about criticism... hope The year 2012 does not feel bad and criticized

hi b'rather

Hello Wakeupkitty, Regarding the criticism in mylot, I have seen that the topics started on criticizing other members are getting deleted. I agree there are other deletions also going on but I don't want to discuss those here. The recent trend in mylot is, highest rated discussions getting deleted (not regularly). I have faced criticism here. However, I felt we can express our opinion without hurting others. Thank you so much for your views.

to me criticism meant to straighten out a misunderstanding I have accepted as I was at fault and did not know that I had hurt another mylotter so was glad the other mylotter p messaged me about it and I at once told my friend I had never meant to hurt her feelings and that the expression I had used was meant as a joke. I apologized to her and we are agan good friends.

My dear Hatley, You never hurt anyone. You are responding in a bit strict way. I didn't felt is as a hurt as I have been reading you for long years here and I know it is your style of talking.

Hello, I think I am also like you in personal life. I can’t face criticism in my real life on the first instant. Later I may ready to think and change. But it can hurt me enough on hearing it. In Mylot, it depends on the way getting criticized. But I must admit I am not facing much criticism in mylot.

Hurt will be there in any case, but it is up to us how quickly we can recover from it.

For me, I think it's much as Mavic said. I think I have somewhat low self-confidence. So when someone criticises me, I feel threatened. At least in real life. It doesn't matter what the criticism is about. I wonder if it's a case of feeling like I have to react immediately, so I don't take the time to think about the criticism rationally. I just hear hate, no matter how or what is said, and react poorly. Whereas on here, if someone criticises my thought process, before reacting, I have time to let it sink in and I can react appropriately. I have to say, so far that I've been here, my statements of fact and opinions have been questioned numerous times. And always in a kind way. I've often learned to see things in a new light and have gained tremendously from someone else making me think. Even those cases where I've stood by my statements, I've had to think in order to explain my statements. But even here, if the criticism is more about me personally or anything other than my statement of facts/opinions, I don't take the time to think rationally before responding. And I tend to not respond appropriately.

Hello Deepak, If someone deliberately criticizes to make us down, it may hurt. Positive criticism can help us in a great way. Thank you so much for your views.

Hi friends, i don't think people wanted they do criticism unnecessarily, if they do then we must leave it.

Hello zandi, I think the administration is right with their rules. Encouraging the right way of discussions is very necessary. Making a good platform for different cultured people all over the world is not an easy task. Hats off to mylot admin. Glad to see you after a long time. Hope you are doing fine.

My dear Hatley I understand your views. In my case, my sons criticize me; I felt for them and will ready to change quickly. The same time I felt I am right, I will make them understand. But from hubby, I won’t take it quickly; I have to analyze myself whether I am right or not.

Hello Sir, I agree the criticism in your professional life will be helpful for your improvement in teaching. It will definitely encourage your creative skills.

Hi Jo, I need time to take accept criticism dear. Even if I accept it the hurt may there for some time. But I agree it changes who criticize me and how?

but jotomy not all criticisms are meant to be helpful some are done to hurt yuour feelings and those I do resent as they were painful.Iwill not sit still and let someone make fun of me at all;.

Hello Mohkaari, Criticism hurt all of us. That is the point I learnt from this discussion. But many are ready to accept the same and recover from it quickly and change themselves. Somebody told me the ‘internal hurt’, I think that is the key point. But we have to move on as this is life

Hello yuekim, There is nothing to worry, we all are human beings and it is natural to get hurt. But recovering from the hurt that is important.

Hello Mavic, Yes, you are right. We must care who is criticizing us. If the person is not qualified enough to criticize, we don’t want to care. Thank you so much for your wonderful views.

Yes.. just don't mind and don't feel offended right away, that's my point. You are always at the losing end... why make a heck out of it. in other words.

Hi dragon54u, Yes, I understand that internal hurt, even if we say it is alright and take it in a positive way, that internal hurt will exist and we need time to come out of it.

Hello UmiNoor, I agree, if it is done with love we never get any hurt. Unfortunately people become rude on making criticism. In mylot criticizing us on our language or grammar is against the rule. We don’t want to care such criticism and can ignore those people. Have a nice day.

Hello allknowing, Over the years I have seen many members said good bye to mylot just because of that. I can’t judge who was right and who was wrong. I think we are not here to fight each other.

Hi Viju, Even if the close people criticize we don't care or consider it as criticism, that is the truth. Well, I really can’t understand how ‘0’ came instead of ‘2’ both keys are in different sides. I typed 2012 only. Seems I am getting aged.

Hello Anglepink, You are absolutely right. In fact the intention of criticism (upto a certain extent) is to improve the person’s work or actions. If it creates hurt then the intention may not be good. If it is said in a gentle and well mannered way then definitely it works positively. Thank you so much for the wonderful explanation.

Hello devonavis, I really appreciate your positive attitude and the true spirit. It is not easy to think the way you think. I agree the criticism is different types and the intention is also vary. The first category may come under the constructive criticism and most of the time dear people may make the criticism in this way. The second two categories we really don’t want to care, I felt. Thank you so much for your views.