There are limits, or there should be. . .

SOunds nice to me altho We havent ever put it that way. We do try to teach grnd daughter that its Jesus birthday tat we are celibrating SHe dont seem to get excited un till the day then she cant wait to open presents and the family getting here for dinner . I really think she like the company the best and she always knows what she gets from me and thats clothes as Mommy and daddy cant afford a bunch of clothes at one time so I do it specially when I can get them on sale th etoys come from somewhere else an she still has ever one she ever got. and pulls some out that she got way back when to play with so we never know how to clean every thing out of there. And when she out grows things I take them up to my necies and newphews to share thru the kids younger than 8. NOw I got all the way off track I still think your kids have a great idea!

That sounds like such a good idea! I admit-my parents did purchase more than that for Christmas each year, but what was funny was how my mother would go to the extra trouble to purchase the same number for the same value and create pretty similarly sized piles of gifts each year! I had just one daughter, and I admit, there were years that I spoiled her terribly. Add to that two sets of doting grandparents (she was my parents only grandchild), doting aunts and uncles and a great-grandmother and, well, you're starting to get the picture. My daughter was spoiled, but she also knew how difficult it was the year I was laid off with no warning and no severance-on December 1st, no less! She still did get some presents from me, but not nearly as much as she was used to. She understood the reasons why, and she dealt with it quite well. I think that it didn't bother her as much because she knew how I worked hard to find just the right gifts for her each year-and I do think that makes a difference. My ex buys her expensive gifts that he really can't afford-and then can't pay the rent on time. But he's the better 'Christian' than me (according to his rules). And as a result, she's come to rely on daddy to buy her a new iPod every six months, or a new digital camera. She's still using the same laptop 5 years later that I bought her for school-when it stopped working, I took it to the shop and had upgrades done so that it would work (he dad would have tossed it and bought another one). I purchased an iPhone 3Gs (when the 4 came out) after she demonstrated that she could handle having one and the phone her father got her kept breaking. I think that if I could do it again, I would, and quite differently. It IS hard to break the habit of overindulgence during the holidays, especially when it's what you're used to. Congratulations to your daughter and son-in-law for raising your grandchildren with good values!

I think that is why I like Hanukkah, my son only gets one gift a night and sometimes that gift is nothing more than a little 2.00 toy or now that he is older, some "health and beauty" items like a package of shower items of shampoo and soap. Of course he gets the bigger gift on the eighth day..:)

Loved your discusion, gg. I know we all forget the reson for the season at times & we shouldn't. I bet there are not many parents that do as well wtheir kids. I bet some children are never told it is the birthday of jesus. U are a good lady, gg & seems as if u have raised some good kids. I hope u & your family have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS.

I like what your daughter and son-in-law are doing. It sounds to me like they are giving your grandchildren some strong and healthy values. I am not a Christian but I celebrate the spirit of the holiday. I do go to a non-secretarian open house on Xmas day. I am troubled by how most persons celebrate Xmas with the over indulgent holiday parties and the buy, buy, buy and spend, spend, spend. I wonder what Jesus would say or do if he came back to earth and saw how people celebrate his birthday. I do not think it would please him as a whole but I do think that he would like how your children and grandchildren celebrate the day of his birth.

I like the Thai idea of birthday treats when the person whose birthday it is buys their guests a present. It might be a Budhist thing I'm not sure but I sure do like being invited. It is a good idea to impose limits instead of trying to keep up with others ideas of must haves.

I am a firm believer of it's not the price of the gift, it's the thought that has gone into choosing the gift, anyone can go out and splash hundreds of dollars on a gift, and yet it's the gifts that are hand-made that are unique, or even a smaller gift where the person has obviously thought about what you'd really like. The reason why I don't like Christmas as much is because it's all about Commercialism, the real true meaning of Christmas has been lost, so it's quite refreshing to hear that the true spirit of Christmas and what it stands for is alive.

Those are excellent principals to teach any child, religious or not--they could be modified is someone wasn't religious. According to my kids, that was the biggest difference between their dad and I--he would max out the credit cards (since I would get stuck with half the bill, per the divorce agreement) and I would buy them each one or two things (because I believed in limits--AND I was broke). Last year I was looking at the infamous family Christmas videos--and there were huge piles of stuff from DAD everywhere, and 2 or 3 small things from me. I felt awful when I saw that, actually--but my boys told me not to. He seemed so petty to me--either he was trying to buy the kids, or trying to make me look bad, or both. I still wonder how I ever married such an idiot...nobody will tell me.

It's really sad that such a wonderful holiday meant to spread love and goodwill has been reduced to a day of excess and greed. Your daughter and SIL do the same as I did when my kids were growing up. I had Santa come each year with one gift and they got one from me and their dad. Santa was the embodiment of compassion and generosity, a modern name for St. Nicholas and the kids knew that when I told them about Santa. Birthdays I expressed the same sentiment as your daughter and SIL and I still tell them that, that they are the greatest gifts I've ever received other than the love of God and the gift of Christ. I also baked a birthday cake each Christmas Eve that they helped decorate for Jesus and we sang Happy Birthday to Him. That helped combat the message of greed that they saw everywhere. I'm glad your grandchildren are getting an upbringing that gives them the gift of faith and love and shows them that material goods do not bring them real and lasting happiness.

That's great! I think with things like that you need to start young. Unfortunately when my kids were young all I wanted to do was give them everything I never had.. now I'm having trouble keeping up with that and they expect a lot from me. I've sat my older 3 down and told them I can't do much for Christmas. My oldest looks at me and says "That's ok, I just want some clothes, like Hollister clothes".. which cost like $50 for a pair of jeans! My daughter said "That's ok, all I want is an iPod".. $200. My middle son only wants a couple guys to go with his Skylander game he just got for his birthday, and each of the guys are around $10 a piece.. so at least that is doable. He even said if he gets a few more guys, he'll give one that he has to his younger brother. So at least one of my kids is being understanding.

I think that setting limits and having traditions are very important. I used to recieve alot of clothing and books for Christmas as well as toys. I am not christian and I don't necessarily agree with the statements you made but I do see where they are good to teach a child not to be selfish or self serving. Kids don't need to get a overwhelming number of gifts.

It is good for children to learn from an early age that life is not all about accumulating more and more "stuff." My boyfriend and I are more interested in quality of life than quantity of stuff accumulated. When we do have children, I plan for us to observe each holiday as a family and to do things to remind them of their Jewish identity. I am glad that there isn't the same pressure with the Jewish holidays to buy a bunch of stuff. I grew up Christian, so I know what that was like--especially with Christmas.

Thanks a ton for sharing this discussion. Yes u are definitely correct, limits should always be there and we should always stay within that limit. I am glad to know that children are being made aware about the importance of each other and it is not that we should be attached to any day materialistically. Each and every day has its importance and we have to realize and understand it and value them. We have to make our children understand such small things which have much high value. What say?

I think that all parents should be doing the same thing. It seems almost obnoxious to see the little ones opening so many presents that they become exhausted in the process. I never got caught up into the commercialization of Christmas with my two and I am glad that they are not expecting more than I can easily provide for them. Families that go into debt to purchase things for the kids at Chrismas struggle for months to make the payments.

I think that is really wonderful what your daughter and son are teaching their children. It makes the day more special to them to not expect a ton of gifts but to cherish the ones they get. My sister gives her kids so many presents for Christmas that they get bored halfway through opening them. My kids get a lot but not nearly that many. My neice told my daughter that Santa gets you anything you ask for but I told her thats not how it works because my kids only get two things from santa.

I think limits will become more and more important to children being born now and in the future. As we face a world with more and more people in it, limits will become a very important part of life. We use to call this restrictions, or just plain rules. Then in the last few years we became captured by life with no rules even now we wreap the rewards of unrestrained freedom. Only the future will tell.

Mine never got an overbundance of gifts on either occasion really. The twins go to a private Christian school and so they already know the Christmas story in addition to what they have been told at home. Yesterday they cleaned out their toys and books that they have read and these doantions I will take to my Church a little later. They really were happy to be able to give and this pleased me. The same happens to clothes that they may outgrow too. Wonderful parenting skills displayed by your daughter and son in law. Truly wonderful.

I approve of what your daughter and son in law have done.They let children get a traditional education during holiday and birthday and sow the seeds of virtue in their children.Over here,when we celebrate children's birthday,we would tell them that their birthdays are the time when their mothers had a hard time of it then and they must show filial respect to their mothers.

I definitely agree with you, Garden... This has been my view since my children were born (I have 3). But I also have the "Grammy-factor", as I like to call it, that steps in and ruins the whole thing. Her view is, let's spoil him rotten so that we're his favorites. (at least that's how I perceive it). lol

You're right. Christmas is the time of giving love to each other. It's not about having many presents, it's how you became a whole family once in a year.