Want him to get back?

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Honestly I've been experiencing so much of missing my boyfriend, I really want him to get back to me and say sorry, I didn't mean to, being a gay is such a difficult situation specially when getting in love to a real straight guy knowingly that his world is in to you, I do accept the fact, yeah there is something not right going with this type of relationship, but the thing is doesn't he have a conscience on what I have done to him, we keep on having good conversations before, but all of a sudden everything was ruined, i don't know is there something stimulates to him that he has to stop this relationship, everyday there is no time that he didn't come to my mind, thinking so much of him makes me feel exhausted and loosing grip, I wanted to cry infront of him for so much pain I am feeling, and everytime I remember his cute innocent face, charming smile and the way he give me advices as a concern, my love for him keeps going on, but my conscience tells me to stop and surrender it, feels like i'm loosing a grip and nothing to hold on to, can't even tell my family about this, for I know definitely its so a shame to open up something like this in my case and besides I'm not open to my family, can you please guys share opinions to me, what do you think does he mean breaking up with me is that he has a new love one, or he just uses me for something he wants, i didn't expect this things will happen eventually, we met in our place when he was a boy in his Auncles canteen. Up to this moment my mind and hearth is totally hearht-broken :'(