The moments before the first kiss
By mor
@stringer321 (5644)
Kiryat Ata, Israel
December 16, 2012 12:37pm CST
Well, I am a man, almost 31 in age now. I had some girl friends in the past and it was always hard for me to offer the first kiss.
When I know I drive the girl in my car, taking her home, she is soon going to get out and I'm afraid to try to kiss her. I have doubts about whether she likes me as a man or as a friend only. So, I really don't know how to propose the first kiss.
One time, I offered the kiss and she told me "in another time" so I didn't offer a kiss but she proposed me after I took her home after the second date.
Now, I ask the new girl "Do you want a kiss?" after the second date since I believe the second date is a sign for some interest from the lady.
Can you please give me and share some of your thoughts during the last moments of the date when you want to kiss for the first time ? (Men or women). What are your doubts, what do you think the other wants...strategies maybe ?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@AmbiePam (92711)
• United States
18 Dec 12
Someone lied (or just didn't know( to you. Starting up your car does not take that much fuel at all. They actually did a special on The Disovery Channel, and that was one of the myths they took on.
The first time I was kissed I was so nervous I thought I might throw up!
1 person likes this
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
19 Dec 12
Well, just for telling me that information about the fuel usage, I thank you for ever. I wish I saw that episode with the myth breakers.
Now tell me, why were you nervous before that kiss ?
To tell you the truth, I don't really like the tongue thing either, I like more dry kisses on the neck and on the chick. Sometimes the smell or the mouth is not clean enough and I don't like to think about the plaque...
1 person likes this
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
18 Dec 12
Walking her to the door can show some closeness and care. So far, I didn't do it since I had to watch my car. I prefer keeping the motor working and save the fuel on the starter again. I have been told that starting up the engine is like 15 minutes of driving waste of fuel.
But, what did you feel and think before you kissed for the first time?
Did you have a feeling it would happen ? Did you want it to happen ?
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
17 Dec 12
As far as I can remember, my boyfriend didn't ask me if I want to be kissed. I mean, maybe it was just the right time at that moment and that preventing him from doing it was not in my mind.
I think that a guy should be able to feel if the girl is ready for that. You should have sharp feelings about how a woman feels about you.
I think that a guy should be able to feel if the girl is ready for that. You should have sharp feelings about how a woman feels about you.1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
17 Dec 12
If that is the case, then I suggest to have a few more dates so that you'll be sure how you feel towards each other and then maybe, the most awaited kiss would just happen!
Good luck on that kiss! 
Good luck on that kiss! 1 person likes this
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
17 Dec 12
Yea, I also know how to bend spoons with the power of mind, read other people thoughts...:P just kidding.
I'm sorry, I can't really feel exactly what she feels because she is so shy and try to avoid eyes contact, I hope she will feel more comfortable with me next time so she can express herself better.
I know it's hard but, I sometimes try to see the situation from her point and I guess that is natural: she feels I'm trying to get her attention and that I want her and she doesn't know exactly what she feels about me.
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
29 Dec 12
Well, we went on another date to a coffee house and we had a nice time.
I like talking and listening to her, she only drank a hot chocolate and I ate a sweet cake. During the dinner, I found some courage to hug her and kiss her cheek.
After eating, drinking and talking, we went out of the coffee house, I got her hand, she was shy and I told her that we had been dating for 4 times (not including the ping pong games) and that I am interested with a relationship.
It turned out she only wanted to date with me for the fun and not for me. Damit!!
She used me just for fun. She wanted only a friend. Now she doesn't even want me as a friend since she knows I will always try to get closer to her somehow...
I need to go on to the next lady that will like me back... :(
@Christoph56 (1504)
• Canada
17 Dec 12
I do the same, I ask them before I kiss them. Reading body language is far easier for women then for men, so directly asking is a much easier approach.
But, I'm not so big on you asking, "Do you want a kiss?". I say, "Can I kiss you?". It shows that it's something that I really want, and I want her ok with it. An even better way would be to just say, "I'm going to kiss you", or even better, just go for it. The bad part about just going for it (and what I've always been scared of) is that the girl really wouldn't want it, and dodge out of the way or slap me or something. It's never happened that way, but I'd feel horrible if it did.
1 person likes this
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
17 Dec 12
That's exactly how I feel and think. Thanks for your respond, Christopher.
I hope you overcome your doubts and have success since it's not easy.
The last time I took the nice lady for a date, it was 20 hours ago and I just decided to avoid the situation. I let her get out of the car and I sent her an air kiss through the window. I think that was an act of giving up. At least she kissed me back on air and smiled.
@marguicha (222994)
• Chile
17 Dec 12
Having a date with a woman does not mean that you become a boy friend in the minute. It happens little by little, as all relations. I wouldn`t like a man to offer a kiss as if he was offering me candies. It`s a lot more than that to many of us.
1 person likes this
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
17 Dec 12
Thanks for the advice. Kisses should not be treated like candies.
I also want to hug her and hold her in my arms, but, I'm afraid she will reject me or maybe I can do something in a more attracting way so she will hug me by herself.
Rejection hurts and I already took her 3 times for a date.
@greenwbird (227)
• China
17 Dec 12
It depends on the girl's mood and her feeling to you,if you truly love her and she shows her affection on you in some way,such as hesitate to get out of your car,hehe,you will not need to plan the first kiss,at somewhere and on sometime,you will can't help kissing her,which just she is waiting, that's natural!
1 person likes this
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
17 Dec 12
I can tell you that 72 hours ago, I took her to a nice restaurant and at the first moments we set next to each other, I wanted so much to hug her. I felt all the joy and the warm feeling, I felt like I won a prize and I can hold it now, but I didn't hug her. I didn't know how she would react.
So, I decided to wait with that and let it go away.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
17 Dec 12
at times you will feel the chemistry between you two and know its ok to kiss,otherwise play safe and only kiss either her hand or her cheek.Also how close she lets you seat next to her may give you a hint of how much of you she is ready for,also before you insist ensure your mouth smells good,the rest will flow naturally.
1 person likes this
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
17 Dec 12
Hi hi, I will have to take a tooth brush and a tooth paste to brush my teeth. My sister tells me my breath smells bad. Maybe I better drink some water with CO2 to reduce the smell and wash my stomach, and chew a mint bubble gum.
I sometimes feel some butterflies when I want to kiss her, but, most of the time, it feels like hanging out with someone I know for a long time, like a friend. It makes me feel more comfortable.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
16 Dec 12
There is no definite time for the right time to give the first kiss.
That depends on the situation and how long is the relationship going on.
Kiss will happen if both parties agreed on it...and not by request,or to satisfy one person alone.
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
17 Dec 12
I wish I would be able to know in advance that moment will come and we will kiss a true love kiss. We have been dating for 3 times now and I still can't tell what she thinks about me. Last night, we went to the salsa club and when I took her home, I decided to just give her a kiss through the air and blow it with the wind:
After she went out of my car, I knocked on the window and she turned around. I kissed my hand and puffed the kiss to her and she did the same too (I'm not sure if she meant to do so, but she did and she smiled while turning around and going to her home).
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
18 Dec 12
As a woman, I really don't think that there is any time that is the right time for a first kiss. There might be some times where I would have liked to have kissed a guy on the first kiss but then again there were other people that I dated that I could have seen several different times and I couldn't have cared less if they would have wanted to kiss me.
I think that it really all depends on the relationship that you are having with a person and the emotions that you feel when you spend time with that person.
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
18 Dec 12
I agree, we are supposed to kiss only if we want to and not because of what we see on the movies or learn. We have to listen to our heart.
So, you are saying there were several men you couldn't care less if they would have wanted to kiss you. Do you mean that you didn't care ?
I'm sure those guys went out with you and they wanted to kiss you. Maybe they didn't know what to do...
@chicksdigscars (5483)
•
17 Dec 12
One thing I would say is don’t ask a girl if she wants a kiss. It is awkward and embarrassing for the girl.
Usually if a woman wants a kiss she will show you. She will flirt, toss her hair, stare into your eyes, stay a little longer than necessary in the car.
Instead of going in for the kiss, try leaning in a little closer to her and she if she leans in closer to you. if she does, kiss her, if she doesn’t, she doesn’t want one.
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
17 Dec 12
Thanks for the advice, if she stays in the car more, I will lean a little to her direction and see how it goes.
Can you remember how were the last moments of the first or the second date when you first kissed ?
How did you feel ? Did you have some doubts before the kiss ?
Did you hope he would kiss you ? Tell me some.
@blogandme (379)
• Indonesia
16 Dec 12
hi friend..
you should love your girlfriend by your heart, dont by your strategy, if you do, your girl will kiss you for first time cause you has a beautifull love to her and it will attract her
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
17 Dec 12
Well, I like her and sometimes, I also have my own life and things I like to do. If she understands that, she will appreciate me more as a person.
Now, let's imagine we I propose a kiss at the last moment asking "Can I please have a kiss ?" (asking with some begging face...) She will probably say no.
If, during the date, something funny happened, we laugh and I kiss her on the cheek, first of all, she has fun, she will probably like the kiss too. She doesn't have to be the selector who eliminates and brings me doom...
Strategy is important, you see ?
@Pen_Pal777 (245)
• Philippines
16 Dec 12
a kiss just happen in it's own time no strategy needed. we cannot insists on giving it always at the first date. it depends, there are girls who wanted to be kissed right away...hahahha. so it is up to us boys to know their body language, because if you can't tell if she wants a kiss and where she wants it, how could you be a good kisser then? as for me i don't ask if she needs a kiss, i just look at her eyes. there are things better not asked, i feel it is more romantic that way. the best thing you can do is forget the strategy on how to get that first kiss, build yourself up so she will like you, a lot of kiss will come later if she will.
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
17 Dec 12
So you know by the look in her eyes if she wants a kiss. That's interesting. Many times, body language is the best. I sometimes didn't talk at all and just tried to talk with the body language with girls at the salsa club, they responded a lot better when I said nothing, smiled, gave my smallest finger as a cute peace offer and they smiled and responded well to it.
Body language passes the message better.
