How far you'd go with financial transparency?

This is very common with a husband working overseas. I wonder why they need to hide this truth from their wife- are they thinking that they wife won't agree? Unless their wife is against this system, but as long as there is an agreement between the couple, then there'll be a problem at all. Honesty must be practiced in every couple to avoid problems in the future.

With me and my ex it worked this way: we both payed a share of the rent, gas, electricity, shoppings, saving together, etc.. what is left over we can spend on us (for me it was mostly for the kids) or save. With me and my husband it works this way (since something else is not possible). He takes care of himself and his fater, I take care of me and my children. If possible I help him and his father out a bit but they should not count on that since my children are my first priority and my husband is an adult himself.

perhaps he is not transparent to you due to the fear that you might say no to his gesture of giving financial aid to his mother and his relatives. giving money to mom is not a wrong thing. but to the relatives, well, hope they dont take advantage on him. if it is really a valid and crucial situation for them and if your husband is able to lend them, then it is fine. why not you tell him about your opinion as whether you agree with his acts of giving money to others or not. if your viewpoint syncronized with him or almost, then im sure he will not be reluctant to share his user name / pwd to you. get ready for reason for his question: are you asking for the user name because you dont trust me? your clear and short answer as yes may not be a happy one to be heard by him. so perhaps get ready with some diplomatic reply.