Its good idea - to do or not to do!
By Life11211
@Life11211 (452)
India
December 17, 2012 7:45am CST
Hi,
This question always comes in mind about friends, and i feel mylot is only place where i can ask this and i am very sure i will get excellent result for this question.
Friends, Is this good idea to test our friends from time to time? My understanding, this is bad practice to follow, but this test also help us to know who is just friend or who is friend in need as saying goes "A friend in need, is friend indeed"
Very recently i thought of preparing some new recipe that is undiyu (this is Gujarati dish, and require lot of special skill to prepare this recipe)
My one friend, she is guju (Gujarati) and i know she is very good cook, so i thought why not ask from her as she can able to help me, second thought, was google as check all recipes and option as how Undiyu is made.
But, again i thought, google is very good option, but this help me to get the idea how close is she and care for me, so thinking all, i sent her message on what's-up and mentioned take your own sweet time, but i need recipe from you (i sent this on December 10, 2012) but till 14th no reply from her side and in the meantime i arranged all the things, waiting for her reply, so that i can prepare this new recipe. ( In the meantime, i shared this with my family, as i am getting excellent recipe from my one good friend)
Finally on 15th i asked, when you are going to send me recipe as i am planning today, the reply i got as that she is very busy and send me after day or two.
Funny thing, she is always online on what's-up, but she don't have few minutes for me to share recipe....
finally i Google that recipe and prepared and got excellent feedback from my family and next day my sister called me to check the recipe as how i prepared (lol).
So, what to do with such friends, i mean what is the point to keep in touch with those friend, who never help us in any way and not even bothered.
But after this incident, i got the idea about this friend, as i know where she stand, and i was in illusion that she is my good friend.
I understand, may be she is busy, but after that she not even communicated, this makes me feel really sad.
What are your views, please share your views
December 17, 2012 19:11 (IST)
2 people like this
6 responses
@SuperShames (780)
• India
18 Dec 12
Hi khushi.
In my opinion to unbrand a favor just because he/she was busy to not help you out is something I would not admire. Even I am busy most of the times yet you can find me online though I am not active online. And if someone talks about things that are not so important in my opinion compared to the commitments I have in hand then I prefer not doing theirs. May be it might sound rude but then if you are able to explain it to your friends then it is fine. Testing is one thing but befriending someone based on a single incidence is something that I won't advice. Anyways have a nice day...
~SuperShames~
2 people like this
@SuperShames (780)
• India
20 Dec 12
Hi khushi.
Well what I meant was... Sometimes people are really busy and they tend to avoid any disturbances. Be it a friend or a family unless it is an emergency case. I am pretty sure that if you would have told her that it was very urgent that you needed the recipe, then it that case I am pretty sure that she would have replied. Anyways have a nice day ...
@Life11211 (452)
• India
20 Dec 12
we consider them priority and they consider us just option.
When we are important to another person
that person will always find a way to make time for us
Won't give u an excuse
Won't says lies
and never break promise.
1 person likes this
@Life11211 (452)
• India
18 Dec 12
Hi Shames,
Sorry, the above reply is bouncer to me, (surrender)
Please come back and explain in simple words.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (137781)
• India
17 Dec 12
I am just guessing. It is possible that she found it difficult to type out that recipe as Undiyu is a complicated recipe and she may not have had that much time for it.
1 person likes this
@Life11211 (452)
• India
17 Dec 12
Hi,
Difficult to type AGREE
Complicate Recipe VERY MUCH AGREE
Don't have time... hummm... AGREE
But i asked her on 10th December 2012, and today is 17.
Before this, she use to communicate on what's-up almost alternate day,
But after this incident not even courtesy call or msg,
We call this as friendship. (very confused)
I need to go still long way to understand people and how they behave (very sad)
@allknowing (137781)
• India
18 Dec 12
May be as someone suggested here,she may not know the recipe, but feeling bad to admit it! May be she is not well and that could be a coincidence.
I had that experience lately. I had made a general complaint that my post did not receive comments on FB and this friend was one of them. I stopped getting mails from her till I took the initiative and sent my last mail once again to her which she had not seen as it got lodged in her spam folder and had nothing to do with my complaint for her silence.
Why don't you call her up and clear the air,if you have other reasons to have her as your friend?
1 person likes this
@Life11211 (452)
• India
18 Dec 12
Hi Again,
This time you are wrong.
She know this recipe very well, in fact she prepared this recipe in our college festival and i was working as helper under her (lol), I vaguely remember the recipe, but it will excellent and even now when i eat undiyu i start comparing with her recipe as made very very good.
Another thing is gone to spam folder not possible as both the time she replied back as first time when i sent her request and second time when i asked when you are going to send me.
What's up is mobile application which is connected to our mobile number and she don't email or other options as don't have PC.
You know she call me with shortened name (example suppose my name is neeta, so she call neetu), not even my family or any other call with this way and but i like the way she address, it give us feeling of closeness and connected.
Just now i got message on what's up as she need my help on some query related to mobile and i know how to do that. (she know i am good in this kind of knowledge)
so know you tell me
1. Should i ignore and don't reply
2. Tell i don't have time now will tell you after 5 days.
3. Tell her i don't know
But, you know above all. what she did, i still reply and help her, as this is my nature, it would make me guilty, if i can't able to help my friend on such a small thing.
But they don't think me that way, and that hurt's me.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
19 Dec 12
Hi dear
Nothing is permanent…. This is applicable for friendship too.
If you ask for a recipe definitely it will trouble me and you know what is the reason, I can’t give the exact quantity for preparing a recipe. I always measure it in my eyes and add ingredients like that, never use any particular measuring scale for preparing any dish. So I can’t share if anybody asks for it with quantities. I think this may be the technical difficulty. If any one ask I can give a rough idea, how to make it, but for this much people, this quantity I can’t give it. I am using the common sense when I prepare for small group and big group.
I remember last time I was about to leave to my native and one of my friend called me several times for asking a recipe. She wanted to prepare it for the day after but she knows that I may not be available so she cleared all the doubts.
However, I won’t keep away from a friend who asked for a recipe. Surely I will tell my disability.
Nothing is permanent…. This is applicable for friendship too.
If you ask for a recipe definitely it will trouble me and you know what is the reason, I can’t give the exact quantity for preparing a recipe. I always measure it in my eyes and add ingredients like that, never use any particular measuring scale for preparing any dish. So I can’t share if anybody asks for it with quantities. I think this may be the technical difficulty. If any one ask I can give a rough idea, how to make it, but for this much people, this quantity I can’t give it. I am using the common sense when I prepare for small group and big group.
I remember last time I was about to leave to my native and one of my friend called me several times for asking a recipe. She wanted to prepare it for the day after but she knows that I may not be available so she cleared all the doubts.
However, I won’t keep away from a friend who asked for a recipe. Surely I will tell my disability.
@Life11211 (452)
• India
19 Dec 12
Hi Sree (hugs)
Before replying i want to introduce with my friend. She is rank holder, Did diploma in hotel management, worked in 5 star hotels and also worked in cruise line.
I asked from friend, to whom i was very sure, but now she is complete different person.
I told her today all the things which i was in my mind and also said you are not very same person, who i meet few years ago. (we know each other from last 8 years)
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
17 Dec 12
hi life
I think the lady didnt know the recipe and didnt want to reveal that to you - some people are quite conscious and think that what others would think if they did not know something that was expected from them to be known to them!
I am from north india, but I hardly know any of their dishes just because I was born and brought up here at Odisha. Also, though my family is serving at Lord Jagannath but I am not. I have always distant from all those things - and I hardly know any of those vedic texts. But yes, there is a difference. I dont deny and accept the reality - and have never felt bad about my not knowing anything which many assume I already should know.
Now for testing of friends... well, this is subjective but still, there are times when friends do get tested and not many stand by you in times when you need them the most. But still, they are friends and we dont have any different words related to friendship which would/could be used to classify. So all have to and would remain friends. Maybe, not in the true sense of "A friend in Need is a Friend in Deed" - maybe, the needs and deeds have to be different - just like some pass and some fail during an examination/test and that definitely doesnt mean that the ones who failed are less intelligent or less aware... it is just luck that some fared better with the Test and others could fare better with some other Test.
I think the lady didnt know the recipe and didnt want to reveal that to you - some people are quite conscious and think that what others would think if they did not know something that was expected from them to be known to them!
I am from north india, but I hardly know any of their dishes just because I was born and brought up here at Odisha. Also, though my family is serving at Lord Jagannath but I am not. I have always distant from all those things - and I hardly know any of those vedic texts. But yes, there is a difference. I dont deny and accept the reality - and have never felt bad about my not knowing anything which many assume I already should know.
Now for testing of friends... well, this is subjective but still, there are times when friends do get tested and not many stand by you in times when you need them the most. But still, they are friends and we dont have any different words related to friendship which would/could be used to classify. So all have to and would remain friends. Maybe, not in the true sense of "A friend in Need is a Friend in Deed" - maybe, the needs and deeds have to be different - just like some pass and some fail during an examination/test and that definitely doesnt mean that the ones who failed are less intelligent or less aware... it is just luck that some fared better with the Test and others could fare better with some other Test.1 person likes this
@Life11211 (452)
• India
17 Dec 12
Hi sid,
Don't know the recipe - not correct
As she prepared this recipe in our college food festival, i was supporting her as helper (lol)
I don't remember exact recipe, how she prepared, but still can't forget the taste of that recipe.
It was the best i had so far.
But, i guess now she is changed completely.
I guess people think all the things in monetary terms, and forgot the word friend or friendship.
I wish i can able to behave very same way, the way they do, but i can't (need to learn this art)
Honestly it was second thought to my mind, as not thought to test her, if i would have in her place i would have felt guilty and even communicated the reason or even called her if she need any help for me.
Still long way to go to learn people and how to behave with them.
But in this process, i lose hope and get the feel all people are fake.
@akp100 (13640)
• India
17 Dec 12
Hi Life
Well, I don't think we need to take any special test on our friends. I mean in our life many points come which are already like test, and we can easily tell that which of the friend really helpful to us on needed time.
About this, I guess she can be really busy. We can't say anything from whasapp. I mean personally my android phone is always stay connected to online, and I keep getting messages from friends and group(I have joined), so I just open them and read it and close it even I am busy sometime. So that can make my status online each time even I am busy.
So we can't judge from it.
Now you have already made that dish with feedback. So just don't let her know and check whether she replied back... Give her some more time.
Well, I don't think we need to take any special test on our friends. I mean in our life many points come which are already like test, and we can easily tell that which of the friend really helpful to us on needed time.
About this, I guess she can be really busy. We can't say anything from whasapp. I mean personally my android phone is always stay connected to online, and I keep getting messages from friends and group(I have joined), so I just open them and read it and close it even I am busy sometime. So that can make my status online each time even I am busy. So we can't judge from it.
Now you have already made that dish with feedback. So just don't let her know and check whether she replied back... Give her some more time.@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
17 Dec 12
I don't think we need to take any special test on our friends
But I have one test for you right here -
If one pack of chocos = 1 mug of coffee... what would I have?
ps: this result of this test is not going to stop me calling you b'rather anyways
But I have one test for you right here -
If one pack of chocos = 1 mug of coffee... what would I have?
ps: this result of this test is not going to stop me calling you b'rather anyways1 person likes this
@Life11211 (452)
• India
17 Dec 12
Hi,
My intention was not to test her, as she prepared this recipe in college food festival, and i still not forgot that taste of that recipe.
My family know all my friends very well, so such type of things, and already discussed in excitement with my mom and bhabi.
What she did this time, sometime they taunt me as kind of friend i have (just time pass or very selfish)
Which i don't like about any bad impression for my friends.
@viji_v2 (727)
• India
18 Dec 12
Hi life, I guess this is someone who I knew earlier. I think this would not be an indicator for showing the friendship.
Also now due to internet we could not able to find what is the real love from the words we read in the computer wall. It is just a showy place to show love but not to get help.
Take Care.
