A Novel Approach
By tanniebabe78
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
United States
December 17, 2012 9:23pm CST
This evening I was reading an article about more effective ways of parenting and one of the things mentioned really resonated with me. And it was vitally important because just a couple hours previous to reading it, I found ink drawings on the windowsill of our rental house. I was quite upset with her and my first instinct was to spank and yell. Still, something told me to hold on a moment and step back to evaluate the situation. I went online to find out the best way to solve this little dilemma.
The outstanding advice? "Let the punishment fit the deed". Suddenly it came to me on how to handle this delicate situation. I have tried everything you can think of to discipline your child short of serious harm and that would never happen.... Or thought I had! I talked to her very seriously after school about it and then doled out the punishment. I made her clean it off the sill herself. She also was made to clean all the walls of her bedroom as well as the hallway. By the time she was done she was promising never to write on the walls or windows again. Im confident that this punishment will stick with her for quite awhile.
I do know that from now on I will definitely step back and evaluate the best way to dole out discipline and come up with more creative ways to make her realize her own mistakes, far more effectively than yelling or spanking could ever do.....
1 person likes this
4 responses
@crissy92 (91)
• United States
19 Dec 12
Kudos to you for handling this type of situation creatively and effectively. Kids nowadays have to learn that there are consequences to their actions. A simple cause and effect that we've all come to know holds truth. When children realize they can't do whatever they feel and have someone else clean it up, fix it up, or hide it, we'll have a meaningful society of growing people. Take me back to the Little House on the Prairie days and I'll be fine! ha! Thank you for sharing!
1 person likes this
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
• United States
19 Dec 12
I, too, believe that this was a more effective way to teach her there are consequences beyond being spanked and yelled at. After awhile that sort of punishment becomes customary and they get used to it. Then they get the mentality that they can do something, endure a couple seconds of yells and swats then go about their business. This way she had a couple of hours to physically fix the mess herself and think about what she did. And I know her little arm was tired by the time she got done. lol... Far better than a swat from me would have done!
@subhojit10 (7375)
• India
18 Dec 12
Thanks a ton for sharing this discussion. Yes u are absolutely right, now since we are living in a modern age every decision and action of ours have to be taken carefully and when it comes to handling the children they have to be handled and groomed in such a way that they never give us a chance to put fingers on ourselves.
To be very honest, it is always advisable to speak to our children in such a way that they can understand the point and realize their mistakes such that they never repeat it in the future.
What say?
1 person likes this
@artemeis (4194)
• China
19 Dec 12
I can never understand the Western culture on child raising where caning is not encouraged or advocated. I thought it sounded unreal until I saw it on television - "Super Nanny" and this post of yours.
The silent corner, withdrawing of privileges and the firm insistence of carrying out the punishments are to me quite unreal. I simply took it to be another edited Frankenstein reality show but I love the part about taking care of the child's admitting and learning from their mistakes with assuring hugs and kisses.
In the Orient, most of us mothers are being recognized as "Tiger Moms" where everything is quite regimental and by Western standards - brutal. However, I have the fortune of having very doting parents who does not believe in using the cane. Most of the time, it will be a harsh word and we would be off doing household chores or meal preparations as punishments. So that's what I am doing with my daughters now. I hope it will work out for them because a lot of my friends are disagreeing with my methods.
I am glad that you've managed and even done so well with your wonderful daughter. She must have taken an awful long time cleaning all those graffiti off the walls. Anyway, I wish all of you a happy Christmas holiday at home.
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
• United States
19 Dec 12
I realize that other parts of the word are much different than mine. I, however, could never strike my child with an object. I dote on my kids. I do not let them get away with misbehaving though. I do not believe in time outs or corners too often. Not for my daughter. Shes one of those that you can take her toys and she will still find ways to occupy herself such as singing and counting or whatever she game she comes up with in her mind.
I think you are doing a great thing raising your children different. That is not to say that will continue but it takes a lot to move away from what everyone else is doing and create your own house rules.
@UmiNoor (4522)
• Malaysia
19 Dec 12
I guess when you see your child misbehaving, the first reaction is to get angry with your child and then you will yell at her and probably spank her too.
This is admittedly not a good way to show your child how to react to a situation. By being calm, you're also showing your child how she should react when she's in a similar situation. How you react is how your child will react if she's put in the same position.
You're showing your child how to behave. If you behave calmly in a given situation, she will also be calm if she's put in the same situation. The way you react will also be emulated by your child. So always be careful when reacting to situations.
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
• United States
19 Dec 12
Yes, I realize this to be true. I wish I was always this level headed about her mistakes, but I am not. I still have a very long way to go in my parenting skills. I do hope this is a stepping stone to better ideas and a much calmer and more effective disciplinary life.
