I dreamt of my father again last night

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It has been nearly sixed years when my father passed away,he died of cancer when I was in the high school. I dont know how to describe the relationship between he and me,his love was deep and silent,and he was like a friend,who could give me a hand or shoulder when I got frustrated,at that time,my mother always complaint about I was partial to my father,yes,my father is the whole world to me. Now I still can remember when he was ill,and after I knew his bad situation,I bursted into sobbing in the room but when I got out of the room and moved to his bed,I forced a smile to him though I was so sad. When he stayed the last time of his life,he kept vomiting and could not eat anything,he was so painful and still gave me the smile every moment I stared at him.He also told me I need to show more concern for my mother and take good care of her.He became thinner and thinner,and on a very cold day in Winter,he left us. I was hopeless that time,I even wanted to die with him,but with the company of my friends and I think of my poor mother and family,because I am the oldest children in my family,I need to be strong,in fact how I wish I can grow up slowly,cosseted and pampered from my father's love and care,however,growing up,for me,is almost overnight. For one night,I lived without my father,but I learn how to cushion the pains,from that time on,my friends all said to me I am a delicate girl but with strong and determined mind,but to be honest,I have no choices. There are miles away between he and me,how I wish I can get the chance to walk with him,hold his hand and give him a hug. Friends,do cherish the person you love and love you,because I can deeply understand this kind of pain.