she wants a baby,its not happenning!
By pomwango
@pomwango (1353)
Kenya
December 21, 2012 4:08am CST
my friend got married about the same time as me and i have kids and her several years later has not got a baby.she has had fertility tests done and the doctor tells her she is ok,her husband tells her he has also seen a doctor and he is ok but she isnt sure if he is telling her the truth.she is so desperate to have a baby and now wants to have an affair with someone else just to get pregnant,she feels cornered because society is now looking at her as the problem, with some saying she is barren others even saying she had too many abortions and is messed up despite all this being lies.she is so stressed by the situation that she keeps falling sick and has even developed ulcers.she is not ready to think of adoption, she wants a baby of her own.what advise do uou give such a person ,to keep trying or cheat on her husband?
5 responses
@Lovegreen (376)
• Philippines
21 Dec 12
hi pomwango
I'm in the same situation as your friend but I never thought of cheating on my husband 
Just keep trying and if it fails still then it is not for me, that's how I view it. If it's for me God will give it to me at the right time. I don't need to be stressed or pressured about it most of all cheat on my husband
I'm in the same situation as your friend but I never thought of cheating on my husband
Just keep trying and if it fails still then it is not for me, that's how I view it. If it's for me God will give it to me at the right time. I don't need to be stressed or pressured about it most of all cheat on my husband 
@Lovegreen (376)
• Philippines
21 Dec 12
well if they are really her friends she does not need to have a child to fit in. Real friends will not push the issue so she won't feel left out, and will accept her no matter what.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
21 Dec 12
her problem is what people are saying she cant take the bad talk and feels like she is the talk on everyone's lips,plus most of her friends have kids she feels like she is not fitting in,that's why she is thinking of such a desperate act.Her problem is not cheating on her husband the issue is to just have a child of her own.i wish you also succeed too,she has opened my eyes to the pain some people go through.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
21 Dec 12
First of all, scratch out the cheating part. I do not think that by being involved with such can actually help her to have a family that she wanted. So, I suggest that they both go to a different doctor and have a reassessment of their health. If after several months and she still could not conceive, maybe she should try in vitro fertilization. It is a bit costly, but at least, she can say that it is still their own child. If nothing happens, the last resort would be an adoption.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
22 Dec 12
He insists he is okay? Does he have any proof to justify what he claims? Coz I think that he is hiding something. If he loved her, he should at least submit himself for another test and let her know the results.
@Mintlin (322)
• China
22 Dec 12
my suggestion is ask the couple try to work together. Having baby is not just by one person,try to make a coversation and figure out the problem together. cheating is a silly idea,if she wants to do this,i suggest getting divorce is better,right? then finding other man and get a baby.If they love each other ,they should not blame and doubt each other.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
22 Dec 12
Mintlin, thanks for sharing,none of them is putting pressure on the other about having a baby, my friend cant cope with people always asking her why she doesnt have a baby or what she is waiting for,i think this makes her feel incomplete plus the negative talk.
@aravocal (54)
• Philippines
22 Dec 12
Maybe, she need to wait more a little longer, maybe it is not the right time for her to have a baby. my mother have friend that married already, but they don't have a baby in a long time. in the past few years. they got a baby.. it's been a long time to have one child. maybe it was. 10 years before have a child.
so they leave happy now
it was a matter of time and wait until you've got what you want,
she need to wait until the God gave it to her.
@sunshinesophie (794)
• China
21 Dec 12
I feel sympathy for your friend,she just simply wishs a baby of her own,but it seems so tough.But I think the only way she can do is try to persuade her husband to go to doctor with her,though she was just thinking about having a baby,but she surly could not have any affair with someone else,it is the betray,which causes the destruction between the both sides.Best wishes to her and hope her can cheer up.
