They have a lot of trust; they arn't going to make it living together
By 911Ricki
@911Ricki (13588)
Canada
December 21, 2012 4:24pm CST
My sister and her boyfriend have been going out for 10 years or so. They have never lived together, right now my sister can come home when they get tired of each other (when she moves out she is gone, my parents rules are you never come back).
My sister keeps saying how they are going to move in together and buy a house. They got a credit card together a few months ago.
My sister also has 6 other credit cards with other companies. She stood here saying yes I only use whatever card they have together, and the others are for emergencies (he only knows about 1 other card she has).
When she doesn't want him to know about her buyng something, she will use one of her other cards. I sat here laughing, they are going to last long when they are already doing this behind each others back. When they live together, and make that step they have to basically share everything.
I had asked my sister what her boyfriend needs, as I got him in the gift exchange. She had no idea, now she's been dating this guy for years, spends her life with him, and says he is the one and only yet can't tell me what he likes or needs.
4 people like this
6 responses
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
22 Dec 12
Your sister is in a messed up relationship! She has been with him for years and still has no idea what he needs or likes? Sounds like she is so full of herself she only cares about herself! If your sister would move in with this guy,which sounds they pretty much are allready,it would be a disaster! They would not make it! Like you said there would be no trust! She is allready is going behind his back! It would get worse if they lived together! You sister,to me,needs to do some growing up and learn some responsibility! If she lives with someone or on her own,she won't make either way! She's screwed no matter what!
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
22 Dec 12
I stood there, saying how do you not know what he wants or need, even it was say a gift card. I ended up getting him a $50 gas card where I know he will use it. She basically stays at his parents house, neither of them know that is not how she is. When she is there she cleans up after herself, his mother make sure the place is straight. But when she is alone, the place is a disaster, she doesn't clean, can't keep anythign organized, she keeps the stove on all day.He thinks woman should be in the kitchen cooking and cleaning all day, whereas my sister can't do any of it. Also, her personality she is completely different, Ive been over at his house once to pick things up, and I stood there going who are you, she was sweet, and quiet, she usually screaming her head of like an idiot, and a big biatch. But when she asked me to lie for her I will not do that, she can do whatever she wants, but both will get a rude awakening.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
22 Dec 12
He willingly plays the fool for her, and she is a fool when it comes to even the most basic financial matters. *Sigh*
In order for a relationship to work, partners must know what the financial situation looks like. You can't hide away debt like that and expect things to be okay.
Early in our relationship, my boyfriend and I had some miscommunications about money. That made things very complicated, and we are still working to iron out some things as a result of that miscommunication. 
If things would have been clearer from the beginning, we would likely own our own house right now. 
It sounds like neither of them bothers to really know the other very well. However, that is their relationship, and they get to deal with it themselves.
If things would have been clearer from the beginning, we would likely own our own house right now.
It sounds like neither of them bothers to really know the other very well. However, that is their relationship, and they get to deal with it themselves.@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
23 Dec 12
I agree, communication in all aspects is key which they dont have. I believe because they are young, and started dating younger they simple dont have that in their relationship or that responsibility. They have always had everything, and never had to really share responsibilities which tests your relationship.
@shaggin (72141)
• United States
22 Dec 12
Wow ten years together and they dont live together yet. I knew the right things to buy my men right after starting to date them. I cant imagine gong 10 years and having no idea what they liked or needed as far as presents go. I also dont think its good that she hides that she has other credit cards. She shouldnt be sneaky if shes going to live with him. When he finds out he probably wont be mad she has them he will probably be mad that she hid them.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
22 Dec 12
That's what I said, I ended up getting him a gas card, since he drives, and he will msot likely use it. But when they move in together, they have to share financies, and that responsibility. She isn't on a good start, especially when she tries to get me to lie for her.
@Blondie2222 (28611)
• United States
22 Dec 12
Wow 10 yrs is along time and not living together yet? I'd be moved in after 5 yrs if that was the case. If I was with someone for 10 years I would definitely already know what they needed or wanted when the holidays came around or even any time of the year for that matter. Your right it would be interesting to see how they would work out living together, prob not very long.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
22 Dec 12
She wants to buy a house now, he keeps making excuses. But I think he doesn't want to live with her. She is a completely different person, I know because I lived with her 4 years in college. I was at his house, a few months ago, and she was so quiet, and nice, I was standing there going who are you. She will snap and scream her head off, she will not be neat and tidy (whereas he expects it) - he expects the woman to be cooking and cleaning. She can't cook, and can't clean, when she comes home it's like a tornado goes off, and she walks out and leaves it like that. In college, her dishes would be in the sink for days if I didnt clean them. But the fact she is asking her little sister to lie about how she spends her money so he doesnt find out, really shows red flags.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
22 Dec 12
for sure and its the starting stage,they can try something or it is heading for trouble
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
22 Dec 12
It's their life, but from standing from teh outside, once they move in together they probably wont last. They are completely different, when she is at his prents house she is quiet, and nice, when she is not there she screaming her head off, and selfish ignorent personality. He thinks the woman should be in the kitchen cooking and cleaning, whereas she is the biggest pig you will meet, and cant clean up after herself. But when she asked me to lie for her, I will not do that.
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
22 Dec 12
I am going to be blunt - your sister and her relationship with her boyfriend is none of your business. Every relationship is different. What works for one relationship may not work for another. There is not much you can do for your sister and how she and her boyfriend handle their finances. If I were you, I would kind of back off, and let them sort it out for themselves. Because the more you try to get involved or try to warn her boyfriend, the worse you could make the relationship between you and your sister. Just be a kind sister, that is probably the best way for you to handle the situation anyways.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
22 Dec 12
If she doesnt she shouldn`t ask me to lie for her, I don`t care about her relationship, nor her finacnes. But when someone drags me into the middle of it, they want you in the middle of it and drags me out to lie to her boyfriends face for her. I told her she can lie all she wants, I pretend like I know nothing. I barely talk to my sister and when she does it`s to lie to everyone, or her dragging me into her problems.
