Where are true friends nowadays?
By blessedsavie
@blessedsavie (178)
Philippines
December 23, 2012 4:29am CST
I'm feeling kind of sad right now. I don't know why I'm not good in keeping friends. I know I'm not perfect, I make mistakes and I screw up. But I also know that I'm really not a bad person at all. But how come people tend to misunderstand me, misjudge and misinterpret what I say? I have a group of friends. We're happy at first, get along so well, but then suddenly I felt out of place. It's like I'm always out of the loop already. And they go out without me. So I messaged them and honestly told them that I feel sad because it's like they're leaving me behind. But I got negative reaction from them. They said I'm too emotional and immature. Now they're mad. Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong on being honest with what you say and feel? I feel that they only used me. They just wanted to be friends with me because they just want to learn something. And when they actually got what they want, I'm a nobody to them anymore. It's so sad. I want to have true friends. Where can I find them?
1 person likes this
15 responses
@celticeagle (167015)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Dec 12
Well, if your 'friends' think you are too emotional and immature I guess you might want to evaluate yourself. Sure you can be a good person but still be immature. What is it you expect from your friends? What do you think you should expect from them? Are you a good friend to them? Perhaps you need to set up some healthy boundaries. Don't let yourself be used. If you go into a relationship with healthy boundaries and you aren't expecting too much at first perhaps things will work better for. And remember that to have good friends you have to be a good friend.
@celticeagle (167015)
• Boise, Idaho
25 Dec 12
I think you may have expected too much. It might be a good idea in the future to not extend yourself quite so far until you have some idea of the situation. Don't give so much until you have gotten some from them. Give alittle, take alittle.
@blessedsavie (178)
• Philippines
24 Dec 12
Maybe I expected too much from them. I expected that what I do to them, they'll do it back to me. But that isn't the case. I showed them the real me. I was honest and sincere with my relationship to them, but still, they choose to ignore me.
1 person likes this
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
23 Dec 12
hmmm.. looks like the "mean girls" movie. The reward for you is that at least you knew them earlier and they were just able to use you in a very light way. It could be painful and not okay but at least you were tricked just when you are starting and you are not into them so deeply yet. It is hurting because you thought they are your friends, but hey, friends do come and go. You can still find more worthy of your love and care and friendship. why waste your energy wanting them, when they are just pieces of "Mean Girls". Just don't be affected by them you can still live without them. 
@blessedsavie (178)
• Philippines
24 Dec 12
You're right. At least the best part of it is that they showed their true colors right away. It would hurt more if I get too attached with them then they would leave me hanging. Thanks friend!
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
25 Dec 12
yup, true colors at early stage when they have not taken anything from you more
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
23 Dec 12
Hey don't be so down. You can make other friends, is there no any other soul that can get along together as friends again? You know now that they are like that, just keep on moving, never let yourself fall depressed and give yourself some time to make some changes from what you learn from these so called friends. Friends are the one who makes you smile and ask you whether you have problem or not, other than that some are just spending time together, just for the sake of spending time, but if you feel unhappy still, just talk to us in mylot. Just keep in your heart that this is not an obstacle to you to make some other friends in future, take it as a step to make better friends. We come across of so much people in our life, some nosy people, some caring, some understanding, some backstabbing, just avoid and use your head to analyze which are good and which are bad, once you know they are bad, stay away, and never come back to them again, who can hurt you more if you let them. Its my advise.
@blessedsavie (178)
• Philippines
24 Dec 12
Thank you so much for your advice. I guess it's really true about the say that friends do come and go. But the ones who are true to you will stick with you 'til the end. I guess I just follow you're advice that I should just keep moving on. It still makes me sad whenever I remember them but I should not let it affect me that much.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
23 Dec 12
Hi blessed, I can hear how sad you are in this post and for
that reason I am sorry..
But I think the issue is that you don't yet know you or your
strengths in life..You really need to work on yourself before
you worry about how other respond to you..In order to get
respect from others you need to show some respect for yourself.
By you letting them use you is showing weakness all around,
Get some back bone and learn how to love yourself and not wait
for others to love you, that will come..Maybe you need to surround
yourself with more positive people maybe different friends but don't
be a doormat for anyone...at anytime...
Have a great week...
@blessedsavie (178)
• Philippines
24 Dec 12
Hey, you're right. I guess I need to love my self first. I always look at myself like I'm one of the most incompetent individual whenever I'm with them. I always look at myself like I don't deserve anything great because I'm a nobody. Maybe that's the reason why they treat me that way also.
@ulan12rc (222)
• Qatar
23 Dec 12
Hi Blessedsavie! Don't be sad, be glad. At least you've known them at the early stage of your friendship it is harder if you're deeply involved with them. It only shows that those people are not your true friends. True friends never use, never accuse and will never leave you behind. They will always be there at your side especially in times of trouble. True friends are rare, it is hard to find so once you've found it don't ever lose it. Just have patience God will provide for you a true friend you'll never forget, so be happy there's a lot more good friends out there. Me I found my true friends and I am happy with them though we are far apart, we never forget.
@blessedsavie (178)
• Philippines
24 Dec 12
Everything you said was true. I think a true friend will always be there for you, no matter how good or bad things might get. And they should be the first people who will understand you, correct you, and help you become a better person. I'm also praying to find true friends. Thanks. =)
@rldchampions001 (156)
• Pakistan
23 Dec 12
Absolutely right. It's very hard to find true friends nowadays. I thought i had many good friends but when difficult times came on me every one left me alone apart from one who i never really expected. The people i thought will help me in my difficult times just vanished when i needed them the most. I only have one true friend left. I always feel he is the best person i have ever met. The real nature of people comes to know when we are facing hardships and the one who stands with you at that time is arguably your best friend.
@blessedsavie (178)
• Philippines
24 Dec 12
That also happened to me. You have so many friends during the good times, but when the bad times come, poof! they also disappear. But still good for you, you still have one true friend left. Me, my best friend is miles away from me. She lives in Australia and I'm here in the Philippines.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
24 Dec 12
I do not personally know each one of you, and it is hard to just judge any of you on this. So what I would suggest is to really know what kind of people you friends really are and stick to those who give you love, care and understanding without them having to ask anything in return.
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
Oh i'm so sorry to hear this. I'm in no position to judge you or any of your friends. There are some people who are clingy and overly sensitive and some people don't like that in friends. There are also those who are overly possessive and they want their friends to be only with them.
It's good thought that you have been honest with them about how you feel. I have recently lost a friend because she treated me so badly and she even betrayed me. But it's not my loss. I have great friends back home who are willing to protect me in their own way because i'm not with them at the moment.
We can be friends. You can message me your email and maybe we'll get along with. Who knows a mylot friend can be a true friend.
Cheers!
@Pegasus72 (1898)
•
29 Jan 13
Let's just say you need a new set of friends, if they can't like you for who you are they aren't friends at all. Good luck.
@else22 (4317)
• India
23 Dec 12
I feel,bless,you and your friends are on different levels.As you say,they think you are immature.May be they are wrong or may be they are right.Similarly I am sure you are honest and want to express yourself.You are seeking someone who may listen to you.I am telling you I was like you either.I had friends,but none of them was close to me.I tried to understand the situation with a different view and finally came to the conclusion that the boys who I thought were my friends were just and at best my acquaintances,and not my friends in true sense of the term.I felt the need to mix up with them,so that I could make at least one of them my friend.And then I got a couple of true friends in course of time.I would like to suggest you to forget whether they care for your emotions or not and start mixing up with them.I am sure you too will find a true friend from among them although it may take some time.
@blessedsavie (178)
• Philippines
23 Dec 12
Thank you for your advice. But right now, they don't even talk to me anymore. They don't even answer my calls or reply to my messages. I asked them what I have done wrong but neither one of them talks to me. It makes me really sad. I feel like they left me hanging in the air with no idea what I have done or said that pushed them away.
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
23 Dec 12
Nahh..just leave it, you'll be fine eventually and find better friends. If they don't like you because you're immature, then find someone who's immature like you..hahaha..joke
. But seriosly, they can understand who you are and will help you become better if they really are friends. But they just left you, so your not meant to be friends.
. But seriosly, they can understand who you are and will help you become better if they really are friends. But they just left you, so your not meant to be friends.@blessedsavie (178)
• Philippines
24 Dec 12
I think I just have to find new set of friends that will help me become a better person instead of judging me and leaving me behind. Thanks!
@Pen_Pal777 (245)
• Philippines
25 Dec 12
hello there, i cannot see exactly what's happening out there, and concerning about what they said that you are emotional and immature, you can always take it a a form of constructive criticism. you said it was your "FRIENDS" who told you about what they don't like about you. one friend can be wrong but you said "THEY". i am sorry about that, but maybe you can try to take a closer look at things.why all your friends left you out, it is not my point here to just say leave them alone because they don't like you anymore, because i believe it will not solve your personality problem if ever they are right.
@nani4ajay (108)
• India
24 Dec 12
Friends are the best makers of our character, they wanted us to change, appreciate your friends, for being truthful with you, think on what your friends say and try to change.
@Arieles (2473)
• United States
23 Dec 12
True friends..are the friends that called you and you didn't pick up the phone, because you were busy. They are the friends that called and invited you to go shopping, but you didn't want to go. What fun is shopping if all you can do is "window shop." They are the friends that asked you to come over, but you had some other excuse. True friends are the ones that came over, out of the blue, just to see you, but you wanted to watch the tv instead. True friends are always there, we just have to look and understand.
