Bestfriends becoming worst enemies...
By chiyochan
@chiyosan (30184)
Philippines
December 27, 2012 7:24am CST
have you ever had this experience when you are really close with someone, practically almost brothers or sisters and then something would happen and you would then become the worst enemies?
I can share my story about this, in college i have this friend for about 3 years, we were really close, we spend so much time together, we even go home together and her mom would pick her up at our house, it was sure as a perfect friendship, she is mean, to others and i was able to tolerate that, i was able to tame her... and everything was smooth as a freshly ironed shirt... but then along came our thesis presentation and she wasn't around... i just told her our professor was looking for her, and i said nothing and told her our professor knew she was sick. She felt as if we purposely told our professor she isn't showing up because she did not help with the thesis. Everything then became blurred, so far as the friendship goes, she started badmouthing me and another friend who was also close with us. she kept on texting me so many harsh words thereafter with many different numbers(purchased prepaid numbers) and well... i guess she just stopped because i never did try to fight with an anonymous person--- i knew it was her though and until we graduated we never spoke again...
Oh just a relationship wasted because she was too proud to talk to me, or our partners in thesis... we never have seen how we all are, i guess and i know in her heart she is still angry at me.. for the lamest reason, for nothing, and for being too shallow.
How about you? do you have such a best friends turned enemies story?
4 people like this
9 responses
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
27 Dec 12
hi ifa, we cannot really stay this way, sometimes we have got to give in and be close with someone. it is really wonderful to have close friends too. it does not matter what is going to happen next but what's important is that you have good relations now, and what if it becomes a friendship forever thing, then its worth the risk...
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
27 Dec 12
Yeah unfortunately I have had this experience. It was actually really crazy. We were so close and then things changed. I'm still not exactly sure what caused her to start to have such harsh feelings for me but to this day we still don't talk and aren't close. I think it had a lot to do with the friends we had at that time and I guess the different life style we wanted to live.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
27 Dec 12
sometimes we can not even know how or why we have to go to that part where we have to lose such a relationship with someone we have been used to being close with, someone we shared something with, time, lunch, dinner, secrets even...
and well, yes that could really be it, when we have different friends too, we also grew apart even if we thought we could never be separated... sometimes we just do... which is really sad.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
16 Jan 13
It is sad that things like this happen. But I know that I tried to do my part to keep my friendship in tact. But when others see things differently and don't want to adjust then there is nothing else we can do. We did have a lot of good times together but now we have our separate lives and we don't have the same interest anymore. But I'm thankful that the friends I have now are a great part of my life.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
I agree. It is sad when friendships had to end and differences can no longer be fixed. But i guess they are just not meant to be in our lives anyway... and it is often better to just have those who will stick with us throughout everything that happens in our lives.
@qianlizhifeng (468)
• China
28 Dec 12
I think misunderstandings are always the main cause of such affairs.Some time ago,I had a close friend,just like you.When we studied in the same high school,we had so much in common that we read books together,had meals together,and did sports together.We spent nearly all day together.But one day,after we both graduated from high school and went to different universities,I suddenly received a call from him,asking me for help.I didn't know what he asked for until he told me to take part in an English test in his school for him,because he thought my English was better than his and could help him pass the test.At first,as we were close friends,I wanted to go and help him.But another friend told me not to help him in such a way.I agreed,and made a call to him to explain why I couldn't go.He didn't decide to agree with me,and got mad at me.
We became strangers from then on.But four years later,I received another call from him,telling me that he had understood me,and wanted to be my close friend again.So we became good friends again.
In my opinion,as time goes by and we grow up psychologically,we would change our minds and attitudes.Sometimes,trying to explain or act may not be good ideas.Silence may bring some good results.But if you make sure what you try to do is meaningful and helpful,you shouldn't hesitate to do it immediately.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
28 Dec 12
Such a waste when a good friendship is wsted just because on of the two have had no means of trying to lower their pride and make sure their friendship is not thrown just like that. It is very hard to find someone whom you think you ccan get along really well with. It is true, too that we change, we grow.. and sometimes we grow up and leave others behind, others get left behind, others leave us because of many other things only time and circumstances ca tell. Still, i believe that true friendship should be more understanding, patient and more tolerant.
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
27 Dec 12
Hi
Chiyosan, I´ve experienced it with my teen friend, but we just got a distance between us for two years maybe, and then we began talking again, I know her from 26 years from now.
She moved abroad, she has two kids and she is married, we don´t see us any more because of the distance, but we try to phone us at least once a month.
She is still my best friend, when I have really hard troubles I look for her to talk with her. And she does the same.
Maybe if she werehere at my country, and we were so close this wouldn´t work.
I don´t know. Who knows!!
If your friend really cares for you, she´ll return someday. If she doesn´t comes back, so she wasn´t valuable.
Blessings Chiyosan... dainy
Chiyosan, I´ve experienced it with my teen friend, but we just got a distance between us for two years maybe, and then we began talking again, I know her from 26 years from now.
She moved abroad, she has two kids and she is married, we don´t see us any more because of the distance, but we try to phone us at least once a month.
She is still my best friend, when I have really hard troubles I look for her to talk with her. And she does the same.
Maybe if she werehere at my country, and we were so close this wouldn´t work.
I don´t know. Who knows!!
If your friend really cares for you, she´ll return someday. If she doesn´t comes back, so she wasn´t valuable.
Blessings Chiyosan... dainy1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
27 Dec 12
hi there dainy.. its lovely that you have found a good friend. i remember how my mom and my godmother is. they are really close and since high school until now they are still very close as if time has not changed any one of them. their situations are different now, but everything has been going all too well for the both of them.
the had lost contact for a few years but they found each other again - God's will i shall say and everything now is all fun for them, retired and both grand mothers. he he
you are right, when it comes down to us meeting again and become friends, continue what we had lost all these years, i think we would really just not remember what caused the rift to us. =) thanks dainy. Godbless!
1 person likes this
@IntrovertShy (2780)
• Marikina, Philippines
28 Dec 12
Not yet. I think if we have broken relationship to our friends or best friend, we can talk about it. That kind of issue can be fixed if both of you talk to each other, but it depends on personality and character. If both of you are too much proud, then it will not resolved anything. Best friends can be worst enemies if both of them are too much proud, but it can be resolved if one of them know how to deal a broken relation, so that their friendship will last forever.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
28 Dec 12
oh yes, we do have to think of it this way, that friends should be able to talk things over... to settle things and to help each other out. =)
Well, i did try to talk to her to no avail... she just does not want to listen and yes she is proud, and that made me proud too...
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
Haha, yeah i think because i was trying to explain to her everything and she would not listen to me, that made me feel as though she does not deserve me as a friend anymore that for an issue such as this she would still be like that.. so its not worth it anymore - yeah we are not meant to be friends until we are old.
@mailofpoori (11)
•
28 Dec 12
yes u r right. I too had an experience I share it here.
when we make friendship closely to anyone we feel that him/her as our family member and share everything of him. and we make him/her cry. we too behave childish behavior with them.
I too did the same thing with my friend. upto that we are the best friends in my class. we support each other in any aspect. we get equal in any education and other. but time passed and I try to play jokes on him . he adjusted for it upto a period of time but after that when I played a joke on him he quarreled with me and our relation damaged. that is a small one that even doesn't hurt anyone. due to my behavior his heart bursted. and we then behave like worst enemies.
but we were again friends. after that incident, we even didn't spoke to each other. that is due to igo this happens in every mind. when we cross the line of ego once. we get the relation last longing. that's the only secret in relation. if any one try this they will get the expected result.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
28 Dec 12
Yes of course, when we make friends, we never anticipate and we never hope to lose the friendship ever.. and we dream it to be so perfect all the time, right? I could not believe that just a misunderstanding friends of many years will refuse to try to patch things up. We could have tried to talk things out, like we always do as normal people, as normal friends do. thank you mailofpoori for sharing this with us. :D
@sriroshan (2585)
• India
27 Dec 12
Such things is very much common in our life. The friend we treat or think to be the best one turn out to be the worst one as he/she do back firing to us or may let our secrete to others or try to take the advantage after knowing our secrete. Such attitudes comes in them only because of jealousy and nothing else or may be they think that they are superior then us.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
27 Dec 12
you are right, it is common - making or breaking friendships, we gain someone and lose someone... sometimes when life is what we think it is to be for a long time.. it would turn out to be different. maybe its just how it should be... that we are given such opportunities and its up to our decision if we would fight for the friendship or just let us go.
@sriroshan (2585)
• India
29 Dec 12
Yes how to keep or maintain the friendship is actually lies in our hand. It is we who are responsible for anything good or bad thing that happen between our friendship as such. So if any differences we should try to sort it our at first only before it is being worsen
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
27 Dec 12
Yes I have, my ex and I. We were once best of friends and lovers. Now after all the years of abuse I could have killed him. Only reason I ever left him be, was because of my son. So he went from my best friend to my worse enemy....
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
28 Dec 12
so sorry to hear about this, i think of my ex as my bestfriend too... the only other person i was really close with after so many years of not being the dependent one. =) but then i guess i just have to let him go too -- it seemed a perfect relationship and friendship and romance, but i guess all the more that it was scary and has to end beneath that were lies and deceit. im glad you were able to also let that anger go.. for the sake of your son. i hope everything is well with you and your son.
@sunshinesophie (794)
• China
28 Dec 12
Hi Chiyosan,but do you really think she's your best friend before?You said it is coz you can tame her,but I view that a real friendship should not be like this.It is to understand one another,help one another,encourge one another and trust one another.But all what you do with each other should be positive and your friendship would grow up and be more mature with the ages.But how come she could be aggressive when encountering such a tiny thing,so I should say if you were real friends before and she believed in you,she would not do that.It is not worth a big deal,isn't it?
So I am grateful you were no friends any more,that kind of person do not deserve your fiend.
Have a nice day.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
28 Dec 12
i really did consider her a a friend, best of friend and we did share our accessories, we have quite a lot of times our stories would just never end, and i did accept her, all sides of her, both good and bad. and of course, i was wishing that she does accept all of me too, being my friend. It was shocking how she reacted... it is indeed a surprise and i wonder why she was like this and why it was so easy for her to just let our friendship go. It was not what i had wished, planned, nor expected. Maybe you are correct, i didn't know her too well and she wasn't at all worth being a good friend.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
I've let it go already actually. I just remembered her and though maaybe how she is doing already right now. There could be a lot more things we could have done for each other, but then circumstances did not allow us to be so. =( Oh well it is such a loss but now I think its all for the better anyway. =) thank you sunshine for your response.
@sunshinesophie (794)
• China
28 Dec 12
The friendship is delicate sometimes,which is like the glass,once broken,it cannot be fixed any more.Just let go,Chiyosan.Though it would be rather unbelievable and bitterly disappointed,do not argue any more about it,it is not worthy.
