She's mad now

Does she have friends with facebook? There are chats on facebook and other kinds of chats that only let you talk to people you already know because you have to have their email on your list. Strangers can't talk to you through those chats, so they are safer. It's hard to balance privileges with safety. Maybe she should have rules set on her, like no video chats or picture exchanges, and let her know you WILL be using parental controls to check her history and monitor her activity. If she follows the rules then she can chat with her friends, which most teenagers crave. Or maybe a mobile phone with a texting plan, if you can afford it? She could always do extra chores to earn the privilege.

This is quite natural and happening around with many people leaving tension to the parents. As you did, the best way to resolve the issue is to educate the child and make better awareness about the aftermath of such things. We can hope that they won't enter into bad things. But as you assume, not all are alike and there is a possibility and we must foresee such events as well. Even I got may girl child aged 13 and she is so frequent with facebook. Anyway, in her case, she is not wan to keep anything private or all are open to all at home and she got as much of 200 more friends. But all are from her school, family and much know people only. Again, she is fond of songs, guitar tunes and if away from fb, she would be learnig guitar or download her interested songs etc. I have noticed several times upon her activities and I never suspected and even I used to check the history of longs with other sites and never seen anything bad on her and even my wife and son (aged 16) also use the same comp. Now, what I susggest or feel appropriate is that, you can be so open and behave much cool with her. Also, whenever she want to open the chat site, be and sit with her and you also take part in it. Whenver someone comes on line, be active with funny discussions and make her to laugh. Ask her permission to sit with her and share her discussions. Also, make a feel that you also intersted to share with her and don't get a feel of disturbance to her. Again, you also can chat with someone in such a mood and she also feel relaxed. Mean time, make her to understand that there may be people who take advantage of such talks and discussion and if noticed or identified, discunnect such people or don't answer to such people's discussions. You can make your own stories or false experience stories to make her a feel of danger on such discussions. If she still in want of privacy, let someone else to sepeak to her with whom she has respect and with whom she is so free and approachable.

You should really sit and talk to her and explain the danger . If she keep installing it maybe you will have to take away her computer for some time . There are so much big perverted men out there just looking and waiting . I dont think she will want to talk to her , let her call up one of her school mates and talk with .

you have a serious problem. when children enter puberty definitely so. want to have to have their own personal space and think that everything is permitted. but do not worry speaks with actions and deeds will understand that this is wrong and should not do so because it is not right. Success friend. nice day!

I am sure she thinks your being so unfair and mean but in reality your trying to protect her and so you should. Your her mother, she is supposed to not like you when your doing good for her to keep her safe! She will get over it, I think you showed what a good parent you are! Sometimes our kids will dislike us for one reason or another but it comes with the job title of parent! =) For your sake I hope she gets over being mad soon...

To be honest,it was diamond cut diamond when you argued with her.Because both of you were so sure that your own idea is right.You means well but she is too young to understand.She is just curious about something new and eager to communicate with more friends who know from internet.If you forbid her to do it,even uninstall it,she would also do it secretly.It doesn't make sense.The proper way is just to talk her in a soft way,you can allow her to chat by this kind of instant messenger,but when she makes any new friends,she should tell you about it,not like the report but as a way of sharing.You try to let her know you would be worried if she makes some wrong friends.Maybe you could give her some suggestions when she gets into trouble. She is in the teenagers treason time.Try to be a friend of hers rather than a teacher.Wish all the best.Have a nice day.

Personally I think you did the right thing here. A 12 yr old should not be in the chat rooms unless there is a way for no one over like maybe 14 to be there. There are so many older men out there acting like young guys online to lure young girls all the time. I would be finding her other things she can do and take her mind off of not allowing her to chat.

I totally understand her wanting to talk to other people outside the family but I think its important she only talk to people that she knows via texting or something so you know she is only chatting with friends and not a stranger posing as a child. I think you are right in not allowingher to use that app to chat you are protecting her.

The way I see it, I believe it is your mistake when you took matters into your own hands (literally) by uninstalling this chat app of hers. Instead of finding some common ground for the both of you. It is always a mistake when we undermine our children that they do not know what is outside and how dangerous it can be. Also, do not know your concerns with this chat app and her using it. Nowadays they have a wealth of information and resources from their friends, schoolmates and most of all, the internet. So, you need to be doing more talking than using your hands. Evidently, your daughter has been trying very hard to gain your trust and you do not think that it is adequate enough. I think you need to know that your daughter's insistence on using this chat app could have something to do with her peers using it amongst themselves. While your concern is legitimate, I think your daughter's efforts should be taken into consideration and supported for being careful. You need to trust her to know what to do and independence needs to be taught by knowing when to withdraw your hand and when to extend it back out. Holding onto the hand will tire both parties at the end of the day.

hi there cupkitties. let your daughter act out and eventually, your daughter will understand that you are simply being protective of her. perhaps, let her read documented cases of adults preying on young children and teenagers online will open her eyes to the possible danger she is exposing herself by chatting with strangers online. anyway, hope this pans out right for you and your daughter.

I think it's better for her to be mad but safe. I hope she gets over it soon. I hope she would eventually understand. Just do not get tired of talking to her, explaining why you had to do it.

She's 13. Stop trying to "explain" how the world works. She won't get it. Just do what you what you know you must do to protect her. That's said, she does need people to talk to, and you should find safe places she can do that. Preferably at a church or other place of people who share your moral values.

Maybe if you talked to her about why you don't want her to be in the chatrooms and tell of other options on how she could make friends her own age, then she could possibly understand. Let her know of the dangers of being in a chatroom and that it isn't safe. I would have done the same thing as well, if I had a daughter and she were doing the same thing or a child at all. With removing the app and blocking it. Right now she may be mad at you and everything, but eventually she will understand and will thank you for it, from keeping her away from things that she shouldn't have to deal with at her age.

Some little girl was mad when I wouldn't pay attention to her. She was probably more than 4 years younger than me. Most likely in middle school. Then she started chasing other older guys. Luckily all those other guys were smarter than that. Then I was like where is this girls parent and what kind of parent they had.

Hey cup kitties. First of all I am confused about your avatar, is that you or your daughter ? Just very curios :) Second, she will continue to be pissed, have you tried asking her if she can't talk to any of her school friends ? (or better said does she have any ?). In case she doesn't maybe you could take her somewhere to meat new kids her age ? Theme Parks (like Disneyland) or some teen clubs or if you want her to be able to talk to people of different ages but be fairly safe, you could go to a trusted volunteer organization (NGO) and help (or just let) her bond. Big Cat Rescue comes to mind, that's in Tampa, Florida - I know for a fact that volunteers and employes there range from youth to 50+ years old, all sharing a common passion for big cats.

Surely there is a safe chat room somewhere. Does anyone know of one?

You could tell her that there are ways to get on in life without these kind of chats. She could get herself into activities in the real world where she could meet friends her age.

You know how kids are. They would do exactly what you don;t want them to do. And they think that you don;t want them to have their own life. But I think what you did was good. We do not know whether the people we are talking to online are good or bad. And besides, she is only 12 years old. I wouldn't allow my daughter just the same. There is a proper time for all that kind of stuff. If she want to talk to somebody outside from her family, then she can talk to her classmates.

What about skype or email? When my daughter was 11 years old, we lived in a mobile home park. She came home from her friend's one day, and said that she wanted to get on the computer to chat with her friend. I think they were planning to email each other, not get on a chat room. I did have to laugh because our homes were so close that they could signal with flags or flashlights from each others' homes. But this is the electronic communication age. :) I found an article on how to help your child develop safety while on the computer: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/online-chat-rooms-for-kids.html Hope this helps because I do think we need to help our children know how to use the computer safely. But your daughter does need to obey and respect you. One of the rules of computer safety for children is not to download anything without parents permission. Perhaps, one day, she will understand that you are lovingly protecting her.

I understand where she's coming from but there are zero safe sites any more. People want to know who you are, where you live, everything. Not to mention they want physical relation right off the bat. They don't even try to get to know people any more. Chat sites used to be a place to talk to people your age about issues. There was some bad, but there was good. But now you can't get on any place without almost everyone asking you your age, gender, and location and immediately wanting to delve into licit conversation. It's just not safe any more.