How to deal with irritating relatives?
By rubyroy
@rubyroy (824)
India
January 3, 2013 10:57pm CST
Relatives could be irrational,irritating relationship which you will have to tolerate whether you like it or not.Yesterday was the engagement party of my sister law's elder daughter. There was a slight misunderstanding between her husband and mine on financial deals.My husband was sore over this misunderstanding,and refused to participate in the engagement ceremony but do you think it was wrong on his part to refuse the invitation.In India it is a shame if the elder brother from the mothers side abstain from such ceremonies.I was indifferent about this feud and was not keen to abstain the ceremony and cause pain to our relatives.I could only go if my husband accompanied him,since it was his sister.Do you think it was correct to abstain from this ceremony?
83 responses
@carlo14344 (22)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
We the Filipino people live with our families because we have close family ties. We love our family even if there are a lot of problems. For me, this is what makes us unique. Try to have an open communication amongst you in order to avoid conflicts. And it is sad that you did not have to attend the wedding. Just try to forgive and forget.
1 person likes this
@sonofGun45 (21)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Individuals have different personalities. It could be due to our differences in culture and being nurtured. Since he was your husband, whatever you will say to your husband will just be a suggestion on your part. Sometimes, with that kind of situation, ego on both parties is present. I don't think it was correct to abstain from the ceremony because it was his sister elder daughter who will be getting engage and i don't think that she has something to do with their misunderstanding.
1 person likes this
@greseniavelasco (24)
• Philippines
8 Jan 13
Ive experience misunderstanding before with my relative but its not that special event like what you said. What i did before was i just step out so that the issue will not get longer or wider or sometimes if i knew that i was the one who did wrong i solve the issue immediately. but for your case i think your husband did not go for the ceremony to avoid issue or or he think he could destroy the ceremony if he attended.
@haizhaiz04 (24)
•
10 Jan 13
Abstaining from the ceremony causes another problem and issue. It is better to stay to show respect and willingness to solve the problem. Be mature enough in handling conflicts. As much as possible try to fix immediately, especially,this is a family matter. Good communication and right way to express emotions, avoids tension.
@haney04 (22)
•
10 Jan 13
For me as i believe engagement ceremony comes ones in a life time and it's not right to abstain from this event even though your husband and his sister has conflict between them. Its not proper to hold a grudge to someone most especially when it comes to family. For as long as you have the intention of reconciling them...why not make the first move.
@cecilleyatar (23)
•
10 Jan 13
It was totally wrong that you husband refused to attend the engagement ceremony of your sister law's elder daughter. Even if there's the misunderstanding, your husband should low his pride and attend the ceremony. If you and your husband will attend to that ceremony, it will be easy for all of you to forgive each other. Even if they are irritating or what we have to understand them for them to understand us too. What ever happens it is his family and already your family too. It is just a slight misunderstanding. Just talk to them and fix that little problem that you have. =)
1 person likes this
@leenesan (22)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Sorry to say this but I think yes..
The ceremony itself is not that important.
But the relationship between brother and sister should close.
Though your husband was angry about the misunderstanding,
He should have calmed down and endure.
If we fight whenever there is misunderstanding,
there will be no one who will accept you.
Sometimes time solves everything.
I hope your husband will be fine..
1 person likes this
@allknowing (135331)
• India
12 Jan 13
This was an on going difference of opinion in our marriage. There were glaring instances when my family did or said things that did not go well with my husband but I would always defend them. Finally it was too much and I went along with my husband and thought best to drift from them. Today I am at peace.
@sirciram18 (21)
•
11 Jan 13
You can not choose a relative there are really some great company, and others are really annoying. I suggests that you should attend the party, and settle whatever conflict do they have, or make some amend, beside you are a family. You should cherish your family even sometimes they are difficult to live with. Your family should know how important each one of them to you and that they should also be important to each other. Because family is very important.
@AnnMary (21)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
For me, it is not good to refuse the ceremony after all they are still your family. Misunderstandings is just normal but taking it seriously is not good, surely many member of the family will get affected if that situation will not be solved. Both parties must set aside first their misunderstandings and participate in the ceremony because the presence of every member of the family are important. Furthermore, if there are some issues that lead to misunderstandings they should talk about it and settle it as soon as possible so that it will not lead to a bigger problem.
@Derick023 (22)
• Philippines
12 Jan 13
To deal will your irritating relatives is very important to every individual because will bring the trust to light that throughout your life, you will be in situations where you simply have to deal with some of your relatives you just cannot stand. This may be cousin who gets into your nerves all time, making you eat play- dough and people must know the important to deal with the relatives.
@delprado_rrr (23)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
what i could say here your experience is not understandable. So i will just respond on your question. To deal with your irritating relatives you must control your anger and emotions. One thing you must try to open a topic that will lose your irritability with your relatives.
@jumer456 (10)
•
11 Jan 13
Since it's a family gathering you might just ignore it for a while for the sake of the others. Try not to think about it and relax a bit. Move away from that person for seeing him will only raise your anger. Al;ways smile and think what others will say if you abstain from ceremony. SOP try to relax and talk over to solve the misunderstanding.
@lemarforeveralon (21)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
We have the same issue with regards on how to deal with your relatives. Surprisingly, until now I'm still having a hard time to deal with them. It irritates me whenever they keep bragging the past. But here's my opinion, I think it's better that your husband abstain from the ceremony, rather than attending it, tendencies are the feud will flare up more. This may cause a lot of trouble in the family.Better remedy for this is to talk about this issue over a cup of coffee, try to let each others side say their part and so the other side as well. If one party is guilty, I think it's better that both of the side should apologize to each other. Make things patch up with love and understanding.
@sunggonglee (10)
•
17 Jan 13
i think relationship with the family is a great deal. i could understand that your husband. i just hope he sets aside the issues for the means time. well~ we all do have our own reasons for something. his presence might have been enough but i think that his presence might just cause trouble.
@dhee1816 (24)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Sometimes we need to think wisely, arranged party very well so that there will no be problems when engagement comes nearer. Financial deals can be arranged. It is still correct to abstain from that ceremony rather than to cancel the ceremony because there is a belief that if you cancel engagement party there will no be a wedding happened. What important is you still know each other and respect others decision so that there 's no conflict will happened.
@dhee1816 (24)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Sometimes we need to think wisely, arranged party very well so that there will no be problems when engagement comes nearer. Financial deals can be arranged. It is still correct to abstain from that ceremony rather than to cancel the ceremony because there is a belief that if you cancel engagement party there will no be a wedding happened. What important is you still know each other and respect others decision so that there 's no conflict will happened.
@chimoy_007 (15)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
It is not good to give up or not to go to the ceremony. Events like that must be treated as important. In your situation there should be one that at least find a solution to those problems, if you can do it, then go for it! Try to talk to your husband, or other relatives which can let them make up. Don't let these small misunderstanding grow, otherwise it can lead to a bigger fight.
@cieren0325 (22)
•
10 Jan 13
Every family faces conflict and I doubt if one family didn't. Even we don't want to have conflicts, still there will be. The remedy was to fixed the conflict and it must be the proper way and action so that everybody will be happy. In this case, it is normal that there will be conflict between two family member but the remedy or the action was wrong. Were in they must let the engagement party go on until it ended, and that must be the right time to deal with it. There is always time for everything.
@chodukleel (22)
•
10 Jan 13
Nothing is important but your family. Actually your sister in law also your family but I am sure you are closer with your husband, right? Anyway I think it was correct but don't be serious with the financial misunderstanding with close people. Why don't you send a letter to your sister in law's elder daughter to bless her engagement? I am sure she will mention about the letter to her parents, and it will make the relationship be good.
@rose0218 (24)
•
11 Jan 13
i don't agree on this situation. to abstain in this ceremony just for the reason of misunderstanding on financial matters is unreasonable. it is a mistake of not attending the ceremony, why not just attend it. it is shameful to make financial matters to be the reason for that, instead they must all attend to show respect on themselves and tho their family members. it is so irritating on the part of the one who will be having the engagement ceremony if one of their relative refuses to join them in fact it is a special occasion that they must attend for the sake of their family.
