what do you do when it's time to walk away
@christylynn41 (200)
United States
January 4, 2013 8:22pm CST
ok here's the situation. I have been helping this girl at our church she is 19 years old and has a 6 month old baby that has some medical problems. However after a couple of things that has happened I feel like I am being used. I have been watching her baby for her sometimes even over night. She complains about how she never gets any sleep because the baby keeps waking up at night. well she is 6 months old and is eating ok and gaining weight so she should be sleeping through the night and when the baby is with me she does. She has hinted around about wanting to move in well Im sorry I just cant we have 5 children of our own and only a 4 bedroom house. I told her that I would take her to a couple of places in town that specializes in helping women like her to get a place of her own. She stays with different people and goes here and there and that's not good for that baby. she's mad at me right now because I simply told her out right that I would not watch the baby for her to go run the streets or to stay gone weeks at a time. But I will watch her while she goes to school to get her g.e.d and find a job. Also wednesday night she got really upset because I teach a children's class at church and we was working on a dance routine they will be doing sunday she asked me if I would keep the baby while she is in youth group and I said no I couldnt so in her youth group in front of everyone she went on this little spill about how she never gets any time to herself and no help hers. Really I was so upset because after all I have done for her. I guess other people in the church has tried to help her and everytime she walks away. I can't do it anymore because it is going to be me ending up being hurt. I don't mind helping people but there is a big difference in people who truly want and need help and those who want to use people and I feel this is how she is and she uses the baby to get what she wants because she has an aunt and her dad but she doesnt want to listen because she doesnt want rules and that's why she's upset with me now. I just dont know what to do.
3 responses
@deazil (4730)
• United States
5 Jan 13
Hi christy! You have helped this girl enough. She is ungrateful, selfish, inconsiderate and worst of all she uses her baby to get things from other people. She knows everyone will feel sorry for the baby if she can't get them to feel sorry for her. You're absolutely doing the right thing. Your family has to come first. You have no reason to feel bad about anything. She apparently just wants everything her own way. Too bad. Life is hard. She better wake up. And yeah, I do feel sorry for the baby. I think somebody should see about getting that baby a good home away from her. It's growing fast and will end up being another casualty of bad parenting. A burden on society and possibly end up in trouble because she's obviously not capable of teaching it any of the right things. You're lucky she's upset with you. Maybe she'll leave you alone. I wouldn't help her anymore. You've gone above and beyond already.
And it's nice to see you again!
And it's nice to see you again!
Most likely this girl's family has rules. Rules that I'm sure she won't abide by. It's definitely too bad for that baby. He/she is the loser here. Poor little thing.
@christylynn41 (200)
• United States
5 Jan 13
Long time no see Miss deazil. lol. I know it is a bad situation and the one that's gonna end up hurt is that baby. I just hope her family will step in and do something before it's too late but on the other hand their probably fed up just like everyone else is.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Jan 13
In my opinion, you have done everything you can do for her and she threw that away. I know you must be feeling bad but really, you did everything you could do. She sounds like an ungrateful and immature brat to me! Why in the world does she have a child when she acts like a child herself? Well that is a another story I suppose but she needs to learn everywhere you go in someone else's house there are rules to follow! And unless you have a job to pay for your own place you have to get over it...
I think you have done more than enough for her. And I am sure the people that have tried to help her before know what she is like and knows this is another one of her tantrums that happened at youth group!
There are some people who you can only help so much...It is hard for us as the helpers to understand that at the time...
I know because we let my cousin and her baby stay with us. She definitely took advantage of us, she didn't clean up after herself or her son, she lied and had tons of secrets all the time, I was watching her son for free, etc... She moved out because we needed a little help financially from her since she was working, we were asking for $25 per week! There was nothing more we could do for her, she was not interested in our help apparently... It was hard for me to accept that but I had to.
@christylynn41 (200)
• United States
5 Jan 13
Thank you for the encouraging words yes your right I feel really hurt because I got really attached for that baby and that is who I feel sorry for the most. But I know I have to walk away from it because I can't do any more unless she is willing to listen but according to everyone who has tried to help and what I seen from my own eyes with her she's gonna have to go it on her own and figured it out and all I can do is pray now. Thanks again for commenting.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Jan 13
Your welcome. I know because I got SO attached to my cousin's baby too. He was so cute and sweet. I feel bad for him also because his mother puts herself before her son! It's really hard to have that hurt and not be able to do anything about it, trust me I know first hand...
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
5 Jan 13
You already have 5 kids and you were still able to take care of her child, so why can't she do it for herself? This girl is close to giving out her child just to do what she wants but since she can ask favor using her child, she wont do it (I guess). This girl should learn her lesson of not putting out her responsibility to someone else.
