New Moms vs. Old Moms

I think if they are your friends as you say you should be able to talk to them about anything. If not, their not real friends. I think there is a right way to go about things and a wrong way to go about them. I would NOT say-your such a bad parent for this reason and that reason. I would say, do you think it's a good idea to let your child/children see you doing those things? Do you think that is showing them the way to be in life? If that was your child doing those things, would you be okay witht that? Maybe it will open their eyes, even if not now maybe in the future... I have 3 children myself, my oldest is 7 years old but I don't think of myself as a "new" mom. After 3 children, I'm pretty sure I am an experienced mommy. These are just my opinions of course.

If they are your real, close friends, maybe it is fine to tell them what you exactly noticed about them. I mean, you are not trying to meddle on how they would want to raise their kids, but you are just concerned on what could be the probable outcome of their behavior when their kids grows a bit older. But I think where these "ways" came from: A woman reaches a certain stage in their marriage, or family life that seems to be a bore. And maybe some would be envious of other single women who are able to do whatever they want. Now if a wife tells negative things about his husband, obviously there are marital issues. That goes with a mother going with different guys every week. So, maybe the start of your conversation with any one of them is to ask if they have problems in their homes that they feel sharing with you to lighten up the burden.

I think I might causally bring it up. Especially if they are fond of giving you advice you never asked for. I am a new mom myself, and while I find myself doing some of the things I never thought I would do as a parent, I have never forced my opinion on anyone. Framed in the right way, the criticism could be really helpful. Some of them might have never thought about how the choices they make would affect their children.

I am going to tell you like this I would say something. One they are your friends and if your kids are going to be socializing with their kids then it is something that I would bring up. Imagine if you let your child have a sleep over at one of their houses and they came home and told you all the things that were going on. On another note you have to be careful who you associate with as well. If you know that they are not good or whatever the case may be then you may need to step back and find another circle to join. Sometimes it is best to speak for the kids in that situation, because they are the ones that are suffering. I use to see this all the time growing up with other parents and at times it got really bad. I would see other kids talking about what goes on in their homes or their friends homes where they actually stayed the night. Now days it is better to try and bring it up, but try not to sound rude about it just tell them that you are concerned and want to help. You are not acting like you are a better mom than them at all. In my opinion you want to help them and see if there is anything that you can do. Sometimes it is best especially if you are going to let your kids socialize and everything. Good Luck!!

I'm a new mother too of a three year old boy. I think you talk to them that what they are doing are not good. Anyway they are your friends. Correction is a sign of love too.

from your description on new and old moms, i consider myself as a new mom too coz my daughter is still a yr. and a half. i think from what you said, you know between what's right and wrong and being a good model to your child. maybe you just have to handle your friends issues about motherhood in a way that they wont get offended by how you tell them about their situation to their children as how to be a good mother or model and let them think or realize they've got a serious issue here... if i were also in your place maybe i would also feel the same "weirdness" but the thing is that you know in yourself the right thing and being a better mom than them.

Well I have a mom group on Facebook it's hidden so only members can invite others to join. To me there is no such thing as new mom or an old mom. Just a first time mom and on. I wouldn't question them other mothers will turn on you if they feel that you think you are better then them. If you feel they are no longer of good friends to you because of what they do it's just best to leave. Always listen to your heart as a mother if there is very doubt you turn to the person you trust the most weather they are parent or not. I'm so grateful that my mom friends are not like your mom friends. Actually a lot of us have a baby or two the same age a few have kids older then me or others. I will tell you I had friend turn on me and I left because I knew what I was doing was right for my babies and there faith and the things they said hurt my feelings and the feelings of other moms there new me online and we all just left. They ganged up on me and I couldn't be part of group of women that would be so harsh on judging when I did nothing wrong. If you didn't agree with them then they would find ways to make you leave the group vs just banning you from it. Thankfully now like I said I have better friends now. My kids are 23 months and 4 months old.

I used to remember when I was a kid, my mother and other parents gather up sometimes and talk some stuffs. Sometimes when an adult subject is brought up to their discussion, anyone would say "don't say that, there's a child who could hear" then my mother would tell me to play or go somewhere else for me not hear their stories or words.So I think it's okay if you would say something like that too in a friendly tone. Then it's their choice if they would agree with you or not.

I try my hardest to remember that no one is perfect, but after a while I just think "How can they be this bad?" When I realize they aren't changing any time soon, I break contact with them. If it's too bad, I call Family Services, but usually not. I break connection because I know that I will allow the mom to take advantage of me because I'm afraid for the child. Frankly, I have my own child to think about. Some women are just not cut to be mothers. They think they are and you can't tell them otherwise, but they just don't have what it takes to be a mom. I feel so bad for those children, but what can you do? The mother will never listen, you know just by the way she lives! I've tried talking to mothers who haven't woke up and they just blow me off and say I'm jealous or stupid. There really isn't much you can do, except fight the urge to become like them.