Are you comfortable sending your child to a sleepover?

How young is your daughter, by the way? I haven't had such conversation with my daughter yet, since she's just 4 years old, and not very sociable. She only gets to sleep over at my mother's house with her cousin, but of course, I don't have to be worried at all, for that. She's totally safe there. I would understand why you'd feel uneasy about your daughter's sleepover at the dad's house. I think you should really make sure everything will be fine, but if there's no way for you to get the whole picture, then best to just let your daughter pass that. You're not being overprotective, just being precautious. I think it's best if you get to know the adults living in the house where they'd be having the slumber party, before sending off your daughter there. I would do the same.

Our ten-year-old once mentioned about that, but I did not allow her. It's too dangerous for girls. There are a lot of girls who had been molested, it's not safe.

My daughter started sleepovers at about age 4. She really liked it. We only did it with people I knew really well and things worked out just fine.

I NEVER let either son go anywhere i was not comfortable with. Had alot of sleepovers at my house. Felt alot better when they were here. I just think u are being a very good mom for being concerned.

I think it's just right that you feel this way. That on top of being protective of your daughter, you also have a nervous sense in you about sending your child to (practically) a stranger's house. Although your daughter wouldn't understand it yet, I would say NO to this sleepover for now.

Hi katsmeow1213, Sleep ovesr at other kids house always make me nervous. My son went to two they were both b-day parties with quite a few kids and thats probably the only reason I let him go. My daughter has only gone to one alone and that was at a cousins house. I would never let my kids stay at a house that I didn't know the parents wether is the mother or the father. I think I would explaing to my daughter that since I didn't know the Father of the other child that I was uncomfortable letting her go. You never know what can happen to our kids when they are out on their own.

I have two boys and I've never been in this kind of a situation. The only time that my older son went for a sleepover was when he was 5 and it was in the same apartment complex. At first he said he wouldn't sleepover and return after the party. But he changed his mind and spent the night there.Since it was in the same building as ours I wasn't as worried and he has never asked after that. Besides staying at relatives' homes when the need arises, the boys have never really been to any sleepovers. Like you, I would be very worried in a similar situation. Girls or boys ...one can never be too careful in today's world. Like you, I've been molested as a child and my husband has also gone through similar situations. Neither one of us would be comfortable sending our child.

My daughter went to her first sleepover when she was in preschool. I was a little surprised when she got invited so young. I guess because I had loved sleepovers I wasn't too worried about it. But I get where you are coming from in not wanting her to stay at the dads house. I would see if they could just do it the next weekend that she is with her mom. My husband and I are getting a divorced so my kids go with him every other weekend. Even though he's no risk for doing anything bad, I don't feel comfortable with my kids inviting friends over when they are with him. I just ask them to wait till its my weekend. The dad might not be ok with her not coming to his house though depending how much time he gets to see her.

I also have dozens of time sleepover at my friend's house, my parents and their are best friends, so its safe. However, in future if my child wants to sleep over I will consider it cos the security now is very minimum, incase you know.

You are right to feel nervous as you do not know the girl's father. This is so wrong to me and if it was my little girl then it wouldn't be happrning. Go always with your gut feeling.

I am not comfortable as well. I don't like sleeping on a friend's house during my teenage days, maybe because I love my room that much (or I am not comfortable sleeping on other houses) My daughter had her first sleepover when her best friend's mom just gives birth and stayed in the hospital. So, her best friend is left alone in the house with their maid and her younger sister. I am thankful that my daughter is also not comfortable with sleeping to another house (even with best friend) so, that was the first and last time she sleeps outside the home.

I have not experienced anything like that but wished that I could. I wasn't even allowed to have any sleepovers when I was a kid. I only have sons, and so far only the eldest has gone to several sleepovers. I have not really felt that uncomfortable with all of the instances, but I just felt that he needed to come home at least before breakfast. I just did not want to give any inconvenience to the parents of his friends.

Oh, I know, these kinds of traumas can make you feel nervous. I must tell you that I wouldn't have thought of something like that in the first place, albeit there is a chance, even if it is a slight chance. I think maybe try to get to know the father beforehand? Maybe you can get a vibe that would make you calm down (or worry more, it depends on the guy). Or, if you have time, you could volunteer to help the dad, you could bring food there, and stay there, if they let you. But in this scenario you should talk this over with your daughter and make that sure that you're not gonna be spying on her. I'm saying this, because... if your daughter doesn't know about your past, and you won't let her go, and she won't get a proper reason for why you're doing that, you could easily lose her trust... which is kind of understandable, because from her p.o.v., "mum is acting crazy and she is not consistent, and makes me stay at home for no proper reason at all"... What you could also do is to tell her that her cell phone, if she has one, should ALWAYS be at her side, and any time she has a trouble, she should call you immediately.

Trust your mother's instincts. If you feel uncomfortable and nervous, there is a reason. It may be a very subtle reason that you really can't describe, but if you are uncomfortable, there is a reason. And you have a valid reason, you don't want what happened to you to ever happen to your daughter. My ground rules for my children going over to a friend's house - especially a sleepover - is that I had to meet the parents in person and for a sleepover, I had to go inside the house. Most parents understood, and some would do the same for me and my home. I understood and didn't mind if they wanted to check out my home and my family before allowing their child to spend the night. And most parents never objected when I went to their house. Most would invite me for a cup of coffee, sit and chat so that we both would get to know each other and feel comfortable with each. If the dad is a respectable dad, he will understand(even without you explaining) why you are not comfortable with your daughter spending the night, when there is only a male parent in the house. That can be your 'ground rule' - there must be a responsible female parent or adult in the house at all times when your daughter is sleeping over at a friends' house. That was my rule. I think your alternatives are just and reasonable. I had the same situation when my daughter wanted to spend the night at a friends - the dad understood completely (all I said is that I am uncomfortable with only a male parent) and my daughter's friend spend the night at our house instead. We have mother's instincts for a reason. Better to be a little too cautious and careful in raising children. And to trust our mother's instincts!!!

I can understand your fear etc. Did you ask to meet him & talk with him & the mom about this etc? I never had a fear about sleepovers with my kids. It was a relief to get them out of the house actually most times. They loved it & things went well each time also. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB!!~

Sleep overs are normal, especially for friends. You shouldn't stress out or imagine bad things, nothing will happen as long as you trust your kid's friend and his/her family. You shouldn't make a problem out of this, even if they are going to spend the weekend at her dad's place, this doesn't make the man a pedophile. I bet he is a normal man. You have a husband as well, don't you

Every parrents must have that same feeling.But we can't keep them in our arms forever,maybe we just not prepared in letting them go.But we must see that they need to sicialized too in other situations,adapt with other peoples tradition or habbit.The less thing we can do is to communicate with her friend parrents,or ask your kid to contact you to know how she is doing