ex boyfriend trouble!!! will it ever stop?
By salma07
@salma07 (639)
India
January 9, 2013 2:29pm CST
Hi everyone,
For the few months of my life have been the most peaceful and fruitful since i broke up with my boyfriends approximately an year ago and this period help me come with terms with what life means and what to expect of it. And also during this period he was seeing another girl so i kept my distance followed all "standard" procedure of break ups like deleting his mail id and taking his name from facebook friends list and also clearing out the mess in my head. When i finally came to live my life with peace. I get a msg from my ex. telling me give my no (i thought it was to invite for his marriage). So like a idiot that i am, i gave him my new no hoping to show maturity and becoming his friend but he started flirting with me telling me all the sweet things which once he use to tell me and everything. My mind knows he is playing trick with me. But my heart is the traitor, even when he was dating his girlfriend he use to call me his crush and now he didnt suggest anything but he told me that i was his one true love. When i asked him about his girlfriend he didnt say anything. It made my heart jump like but my mind warned me against him. When will this dual nature stop, i feel i am going back to those dark old days of crying over my first love. i donno why he is doing this i want him to stop hurting me but how should i say it without looking like an idiot.
7 responses
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
9 Jan 13
He is messing with you. Stay AWAY from him. Do NOT talk to him. He is playing with your emotions and trying to control you. Do NOT let him.
Remember how peaceful your life is without him. And how you are able to come to terms with what life means to you and what to expect out of life, that is for you.
Keep those positive and encouraging thoughts in your mind... and in your heart.
You wonder why he is calling you and telling you LIES - because he still knows he can mess with you and control you.
Be kind but FIRM with him. Tell him that you have moved on with your life. And you wish him all the best with his new girlfriend. Then, say GOODBYE.
Saying GOODBYE does not make you look like an idiot. But if you keep talking to him, then you are an idiot. Sorry. Say GOODBYE and hang up the phone and don't talk to him again.
It takes awhile to emotionally get over someone, especially getting over someone who is manipulating you.
Keep remembering that you are on your way to getting the best out of life. That means - no more boyfriends who play with your emotions or manipulate you.
You have value. Be the best that you can be. Expect the best and the best will come your way.
1 person likes this
@salma07 (639)
• India
9 Jan 13
ZoeJoy thanks you so much, you are an angel, 
i know that its over between us as soon as i saw him with his girlfriend i knew in my heart at that time that we wont be together ever. But he use to call me and tell me that i was his then "crush" i use to hurt so much but i thought i would stop talking to him and i did, but he kept talking to me i couldnt say no and no matter how many times it tell him GOODBYE he still keeps calling me and asking me whether i have a boyfriend.
I think i should make up that i have a boyfriend then i guess he will understand the meaning behind my goodbyes. but thanks you comment was so encourage thank you so much
i know that its over between us as soon as i saw him with his girlfriend i knew in my heart at that time that we wont be together ever. But he use to call me and tell me that i was his then "crush" i use to hurt so much but i thought i would stop talking to him and i did, but he kept talking to me i couldnt say no and no matter how many times it tell him GOODBYE he still keeps calling me and asking me whether i have a boyfriend.
I think i should make up that i have a boyfriend then i guess he will understand the meaning behind my goodbyes. but thanks you comment was so encourage thank you so much
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Or you could tell him the truth that you don't need a boyfriend and that you are much happier being without one. hahaha! No more, Ms. Nice Girl!.
@dankebab (92)
•
10 Jan 13
To be fair, if he really likes you as much ashe says, he wouldn't have let you go in the first place.
You seem strong as you've managed to cope in these last few months.
In my own experience, I've learnt that the best way is just to ignore him!!
You are better than him, and as you've foun out, you don't need him.
I hope you manage to forget about him and get him out your life completely.
Best of luck!! :)
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
10 Jan 13
I have to say that you are lucky that you did have the opportunity in your life to find peace and to be fruitful with your life. However, I'm sorry to hear that the period of your life has ended. With that said, it definitely does sound like your ex-boyfriend is playing games with you and because of that fact then you need to stay far, far away from him.
Now I don't always feel that this is the case when it comes to a future relationship with an ex, but in this situation this is what I would do.
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Oooh, it's Nakago!!
Sorry, that was out of topic.
Ex-boyfriends can be so annoying. If your situation happened to me, I would ignore my boyfriend. I think it doesn't always help to try and be mature and in remaining friends with an ex. No one is forcing you to befriend him so don't feel guilty for ignoring him. He already has a girl friend. In this case, I suspect your ex has had problems with his current girl and goes back to you to sooth himself.
Don't trust him and don't believe him. He's trouble.
If he really thinks you are his true love, he wouldn't be keeping secrets and information from you about his new girl friend. He'd be at your door step telling you in person how he really feels about you.
Don't trust mere cell phone messages. It's cowardice the way I see it. Block his number as soon as possible and see what he does after. If he doesn't do anything to contact you any longer then it shows that he's only playing. If he does show up and is sincere then you have to observe him further.
To not look like a fool: Play it cool, ignore his flirtations, tell him to go back to his new girlfriend, leave you alone, hang up and then block his number.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
I know it hard to avoid you ex boyfriend because you still have feeling for him, but i think you should do all you best to stay away from him and do not let him to trick you again. Better not to entertain him anymore and move on with your life. I have experience this kind of situation before and i ended up crying and hurting all over again.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
9 Jan 13
Being friends with your ex is not more mature than not talking to them and cutting all your connections with them. And if a guy already has someone else he's just not that into you. We say it's complicated; it's not complicated. This is not a moral gray area. If he wanted to be with you, he would do this properly and do his best to become single. Because otherwise, if he is taken and "that" into you, it's not going to be In a way that will make you happy. Guys who want to make you happy will do it in the right way, no moral baggage attached. Take care of yourself, you deserve to be happy, the true happiness that the right person will give you if you just waited for them just for a little longer.
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
10 Jan 13
He is playing you , he want to feel like he can get you if he want you . If you continue to lead him on , then you would be just like the other girl that was with him while he was with you .
You need to help yourself , its your life and your responsibility ...
